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Is sleeping on the couch like camping?

Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 16:43

Member - Andrew & Jen (Melb)

Someone sent me this sexist stuff by email. The email is disturbing and not funny but I was wondering about the camping part.

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note .. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
Question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
Don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine..Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can --
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can --
to give them a bigger laugh!
Yes - Luke's got a bigger one than me
Click Image to Enlarge
2001 Landcruiser 100S Turbo Diesel
"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing"
ThreadID: 12569 Replies: 16
Views: 468 FollowUps: 13
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AnswerID: 57034   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 16:52

Member - Al & Mrs Al (Vic) replied:

It gave me a laugh...but then again...my character is probably questionable...hahaha...

don't know about the camping bit...I've not slept on a couch...

Click Image to Enlarge
"Life isn't measured by the breaths you take but by the things that take your breath away"



Reply 1 of 16
AnswerID: 57035   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:02

GaryInOz (Vic) replied:

ROTFLMAO :-))))

What could be simpler than having only one rule????

......and STILL they don't get it!!!!! :-o

Reply 2 of 16
AnswerID: 57037   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:08

Lynn2 replied:

I guess, Jen, you received this e-mail, not Andrew?

Surprisingly enough, I find it pretty truthful, definitely accurate. Men DO tend to 'call it how it is', very few women have mastered this art. Having 3 grown up sons, I have 'grown up' in a male-dominated household. Quite frankly, I much prefer the male approach than the female 'beating around the bush', fishing for compliments, never really saying what you mean approach.

By the way, I work in a 1000 pupil girls' school, and am fed up to the teeth with female pettiness!
Reply 3 of 16
FollowupID: 318787   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:26

Member - Andrew & Jen (Melb) posted:

Hi Lynn2
It was actually Andrew who posted it and I am pretending to be a sensitive new age guy and feign outrage. Please don't tell anyone. With 1000 girls in one place - no wonder you are fed up - I reckon it would be the same with 1000 boys!
Andrew
Yes - Luke's got a bigger one than me
Click Image to Enlarge
2001 Landcruiser 100S Turbo Diesel
"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing"
FollowUp 1 of 1
AnswerID: 57039   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:33

Member -Bob & Lex (Sydney) replied:

Yes, sleeping on the lounge is like camping as it's usually peacefull
Regards Bob
Where to next
Reply 4 of 16
FollowupID: 318791   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:57

Member - Al & Mrs Al (Vic) posted:

that sounds like the voice of experience....

Click Image to Enlarge
"Life isn't measured by the breaths you take but by the things that take your breath away"



FollowUp 1 of 2
FollowupID: 318921   Submitted: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 at 16:25

Member -Bob & Lex (Sydney) posted:

It is
Regards Bob
Where to next
FollowUp 2 of 2
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AnswerID: 57040   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:37

TheUndertaker replied:

An oldy but a goody,,but you forgot 1 part "Rule No 2 " There is no rule no2 just follow rule no1.

And yes the couch can be a mans best friend depending on the amount of scotch consumed and cold shoulder asked to bear.
Reply 5 of 16
AnswerID: 57042   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:47

Mrs Diamond replied:

im not sure about the couch im 6ft the couch is 5ft 6.
but if a matress on the lounge floor is the same then its better than camping.
theres no big gas heater in the bed room.

and remember when it comes to ladies theres only 2 rules and 2 rules only.

(1)the wife is always right.
(2)if you think the wife is wrong refer to rule number (1)

signed mr diamond(in the lounge)lol
Reply 6 of 16
AnswerID: 57043   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:48

GOB & denny vic member replied:

rotflmao but i havent shown no1 yet nor sent it to my daughters but its about time i had 1 back

steve
steve with beard & hair???
Click Image to Enlarge
currently in broken hill for a week or so
Reply 7 of 16
AnswerID: 57045   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 17:55

Member - Frank replied:

sugest you start running now before they finnish reading it
CBS
Cant Bl**dy Sitstill
Reply 8 of 16
AnswerID: 57049   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 18:53

Member - Brian (Gold Coast) replied:

To make the couch really like camping, make sure you leave the windows open and just close the curtains.... appreciate the cold!!! :-)
My Chrissy Prezzy
Click Image to Enlarge
http://www.goldcoast4wdclub.org.au/
Reply 9 of 16
AnswerID: 57055   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 19:22

John replied:

Andrew
Rule No 1 is just perfect.
Reply 10 of 16
AnswerID: 57058   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 19:40

Member - Glenn(VIC) replied:

Andrew,

You really know how to brighten ones day, thankyou.

At least on the couch I don't get kicked, punched or verbally abused.....ahhhh the serenity of the couch
Reply 11 of 16
FollowupID: 318812   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 19:41

Mrs Diamond posted:

ahhhhhhhhh listen to the serenity
FollowUp 1 of 2
FollowupID: 318814   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 19:45

Member - Glenn(VIC) posted:

I just love serenity, it is better than insanity
FollowUp 2 of 2
AnswerID: 57060   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 19:49

Moneypit replied:

PC is mindless dribble invented by Lawyers and knobheads to get their heads on TV.

i found it amusing. I found it hilarious the first time I read it.

Reality is -------------its bloody close to the truth.

Red dress or yellow dress - we don't care

Am I getting fat -- which bloke is ever going to answer that truthfully if you are?

Rules rule. Especially number 1

Dave

I leave the seat up -- provided the wifes says I can!!
Reply 12 of 16
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AnswerID: 57084   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 21:19

Member - Cocka replied:

How refreshingly accurate any one of these facts can be at any given time. Having seen this quoted elsewhere before, it is, as it is, concise and to the point & not meant to be sexist. Better than the dozen or so fwds: that turn up in the mailbox each week from SWMBO's many fem friends espousing the power of woman over a brow beaten male, how to teach the doe-doe to respond, send this back to me to prove you are my best friend emails etc etc.
I lover her & tell her, and I respect her. We have our own space yet make a great team. SWMBO will laugh at all of the #1 facts above as she sees the humorous truth.
And none of it is derogatory of the gentler sex.
Carpe Diem
Reply 13 of 16
AnswerID: 57095   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 21:51

Member - Gajm (VIC) replied:

That was spot on Andrew. Take wanting a drink from the fridge, a guy will say "Honey, can you please grab me a beer?" a woman won't ask but when you come back from the fridge she will think to herself "he should have known I wanted a drink"....and can someone please explain to me why the word "fine" doesnt actualy even mean fine?.....and thanks Andrew....now I get to go camping tonight!
Reply 14 of 16
FollowupID: 318907   Submitted: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 at 13:48

Member - Peter (York) posted:

When my wife says the word FINE I know I have done or said the wrong thing and only have seconds to live it is one of the most frightening words to come out of her mouth ,thats when I wish I was camping but not on the couch as it is far to close for comfort
FollowUp 1 of 2
FollowupID: 318938   Submitted: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 at 17:58

Mrs Diamond posted:

and another scary word would have to be
WHAT EVER that scares me
FollowUp 2 of 2
AnswerID: 57106   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 22:38

Member - Andrew R (VIC) replied:

That would have taken me about an hour to type.
How do you do that cut and paste thingymawhatsit.
Reply 15 of 16
FollowupID: 318840   Submitted: Monday, May 03, 2004 at 23:11

Member - Andrew & Jen (Melb) posted:

I will come over and show you.... hahah

Actually, if you put the curser at the top of the writing, hold down the left mouse button and drag the curser to the end of the article the writing is highlighted. Then you move the curser over the highlighted area, and click the right mouse button and there is a copy option.
Then put the curser in the window where you type your answer, right click again and then select 'paste' and viola.

Hope this wasn't a trick question.

Andrew
Yes - Luke's got a bigger one than me
Click Image to Enlarge
2001 Landcruiser 100S Turbo Diesel
"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing"
FollowUp 1 of 5
FollowupID: 319013   Submitted: Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 06:58

Member - Andrew R (VIC) posted:

Thanks Andrew, when will you be here. haha

I will try that out some time.

Only 2 1/2 weeks to go now, but who's counting?

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
FollowUp 2 of 5
FollowupID: 319081   Submitted: Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 19:21

Member - Andrew & Jen (Melb) posted:

I think that you are a bad influence on me Mr R! First, you know what and second, I can't get out of my head that I want a three month trip next year! Dear oh dear.
Andrew
Yes - Luke's got a bigger one than me
Click Image to Enlarge
2001 Landcruiser 100S Turbo Diesel
"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing"
FollowUp 3 of 5
FollowupID: 319091   Submitted: Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 20:21

Member - Andrew R (VIC) posted:

Just remember the Vet managed to do it for a year!
FollowUp 4 of 5
FollowupID: 319093   Submitted: Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 20:31

Andrew & Jen (Melb) posted:

Might start practising those green needles....
Yes - Luke's got a bigger one than me
Click Image to Enlarge
2001 Landcruiser 100S Turbo Diesel
"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing"
FollowUp 5 of 5
AnswerID: 57117   Submitted: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 at 00:46

Member - Toonfish replied:

lmao
here is some feminist mother sent me tonight too

Man Schooling:
>
>For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating
marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained
for Marriage, Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates
degree....
>
>
>
>TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six
mini-mesters, you too, can be a real man as well as earn an ASSociates
degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program
outline.
>
>
>
>FIRST YEAR
>
>Autumn Schedule:
>
>MEN 101 Combating Stupidities
>
>MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
>
>MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
>
>MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy underclothes for
Christmas
>
>
>
>Winter Schedule:
>
>MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
>
>MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting
in at 2AM
>
>MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
>
>EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
>
>EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
>
>ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers
>
>
>
>Spring Schedule:
>
>MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Butthole When you're
Wrong
>
>MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
>
>MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
>
>
>
>MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
>
>ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers
>
>
>
>
>
>SECOND YEAR
>Autumn Schedule:
>
>SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It
>
>SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a
Shower
>
>SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex
>
>MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
>
>
>
>Elective (See Electives Below)
>
>Winter Schedule:
>
>MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your
Dependency
>
>MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
>
>MEN 212 You Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
>
>MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise
>
>MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important
>
>
>
>Spring Schedule:
>
>MEN 220 Omitting %&*! From Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail
Only)
>
>MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket after Farting is NOT
Necessary
>
>MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
>
>MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered
Foreplay
>
>MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

>
>
>
>Course Electives:
>
>EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu
>
>EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils
>
>EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly
>
>MEN 231 Mothers-in-law
>
>MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening
>
>MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"
>
>ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her
>
>
>
>Just a thought for all the women out there...
>
>
>
>MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause,
GUYnocologist
>
>Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? Send this to
all of the women you know (and men with a sense of humor) and brighten
their day!!!... And when we have real trouble, it's a HISterectomy .
Reply 16 of 16
FollowupID: 318909   Submitted: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 at 14:18

Des Lexic posted:

Toony, you are one sick puppy.
A funny puppy but very sick.
Better go see the vet.
It's not the years of your life that matters, it's the life in your years that count.
FollowUp 1 of 1

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