AnswerID: 119289 Submitted: Thursday, Jul 07, 2005 at 16:27
Wombat
replied:
Dear James,
I haven't slept for the last three nights, since reading your question and i'Mafraid the only way I'll get some sleep is to 'come clean'.
As part of my service in the French Foreign Legion with my grandfather and son we were based in 'nam when a spy, who we relied on for reconnaissance, and who will have to remain nameless as she's still operating in the Beaumauris area, discovered that the Yanks had in fact engineered, in her words "good quality diff locks for a gal trailer". The reason for their inception was the fact that the military issue Hummers couldn't even drive around the perimeter of one of the local gaols and they needed the forward drive trailers to push them. The leader of these trailer pushed Hummers was a bloke who wore a bandanna and had parachuted in, under the cover of darkness with his truck strapped to his back and his favourite pets, a jellyfish and a little white dog clutched in his hands, whilst shooting a big gun with his feet, taking out 267 Viet Cong, as he landed.
Anyway to cut along story short, according to my father, Gertrude and his brother, Hortense the guy who invented these diff locks is now running a rather large fast food chain which is really a front for a 3.0 litre Nissan Patrol engine laundering outfit, but the stresses of war have had a bit of an effect on him and he now gets around wearing a red and white striped shirt and socks, yellow overalls and very large red shoes with yellow laces asking people if they'd like fries with their order. He may still have some of his secret trailer diff locks in stock so I'd suggest you drop in and ask next time you see one of his stores - you can't miss them they have a big yellow logo which he designed in memory of his rather large Vietnamese lover, being his final image of her as he was dragged away from her bedroom by the MPs, after going AWOL.
Good luck in your quest.
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