Des Lexic replied:

In Pharmacology, most drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently
announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix,
and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this
a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails," and
"highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will
market the new concoction by the name of:
"MOUNT&DO."

Lone Wolf replied:

A man walks into a Chemist, and asks ,“Can I Please have a Cyanide Capsule?”
The Chemist replies “No Sir, you can’t, but out of interest, why do you want one?”
“I want to kill my wife” the man explains.
“Sir, you are definitely not going to get a Cyanide capsule, that is absurd!”
The man then opens his wallet, pulls out a photograph, turns it around so the Chemist can see it, and looks at the Chemist.
“Oh, sorry sir, I wasn’t aware you actually had a script, will be about five minutes!”

Wolfie

3.0turbob replied:

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men
along the road eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to
investigate. He asked one of the men, "Why are you eating grass?"
The poor man replied "We don't have any money for food, so we have to eat
grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and you can eat as much as
you like" the lawyer said.
"Thank you sir, but I also have a wife and two children with me. They are
over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he
stated, "You come with us also, and bring your family too"
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large
asthe limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the
lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with
you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You will really love my place.The grass is almost half of metre high."

Mr Fawlty replied:

In keeping with the rules i'll only post one today....

The Italian Lover and the Blonde

A virile, young Italian gentleman was relaxing at his favourite
bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde.
Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his
apartment, and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom
and made love. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile,
"So...you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned and admitted,
"No."

Surprised, the young man reached for her and the love making
resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams
of passion. The lovemaking ends, and again, the young man smiles,
and again he asks, "You finish?"

And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles
closer to him, and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the
young man reaches for the woman again. Using the last of his strength, he
barely manages it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming,
bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. The exhausted man
falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks
into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks again, "You finish?"

Barely able to speak, she whispers in his ear, "No! I'm
Norwegian."

Mr Fawlty replied:

Maybe if I'm game I can sneak in another one....

A man goes into an adult entertainment store and asks for an inflatable doll.

"Would you like a male or female?" the salesperson asks.

"Female, please," says the customer.

"Would you like black or white?"

"White, please".

"Would you like Christian or Muslim?"

This question confuses the customer, so he asks, "What has religion got to
do with it? It's an inflatable doll."

"The Muslim version blows itself up."

Garbutt replied:

2 blokes were in a bar, drinking and chatting about african wildilfe. One says to the other, "Did you know that male lions have sex 3 times a day?"
The reply, " Aw, Bugger, i joined Rotary yesterday!"

Member - John A (SA) replied:

Mother Superior was addressing the nuns in the convent.
"Sisters, I have to inform you we have a case of gonnhorrea in the convent"
From the back row, a doddering old nun calls out
" Thank goodness, I'm so sick of chardonnay"
____________________________________________________________________

An older Jewish man married a younger woman. After several months, the young woman complained that she had never climaxed during sex and by birthright, all Jewish women are entitled to at least one climax during sex. So they went to see the rabbi. The rabbi tells them to get a young, strong, virile young man to wave a towel over them while they are having sex. This, the rabbi says, will cause the woman to climax, so the couple tries it. After several attempts, still no climax.

They go back to the rabbi. The rabbi says for the bride to change partners and have the virile young man have sex with her and have the husband wave the towel. They try it that night and the young woman goes into wild, screaming earsplitting climaxes, one after the other.

When it is over, the husband smugly looks down at the young man and says, "You see, schmuck, THAT's how you wave a towel!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sparkiepete replied:

Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son Mohamed. He's 24 years old now"

"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now though" mum confides.

"Oh so sad dear" says the other.

"And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21"

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born".

"He's a martyr too " says mum quietly. "Oh gracious me ...." says the other.

"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18", she whispers.

"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school".

"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says...

"They blow up so fast, don't they?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: A Love Poem

I will seek and find you

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm
finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

*The Flu*

I've been hunting jokes again.

Regards
Sparkie

Bonz (Vic) replied:

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man, so he hired the famousChinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone.

A few days later, he received this report:

MOST HONOLABLE SIR:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE

I WATCH HOUSE

HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH

HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW.

HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE.

I LOOK IN WINDOW.

HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.

HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.

HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.

I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OUT OF TREE. I NO SEE.

NO FEE.

CHEN LEE.

SOLLEE.

Member - Crazy Dog (QLD) replied:

What happens if you give a politician Viagra?

see below....

They get taller!

roofscooter2 replied:

david was fixinga door & he found that he needed a new hinge,so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.At the hardware store, Mary saw a beutiful teapot on the top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager,to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished,Mary asked how much for the teapot? Carl replied,"thats silver & costs $100.My goodness,that sure is a lot of money. Then she proceded to describe the hinge that david had sent her to buy,& Carl went out to the back room to see if he could find it .From the back room Carl yelled out , Mary you want a screw with that hinge.

geocacher (djcache) replied:

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Walmart, only to have it break down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.

Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead

Member - Melissa replied:

An old fella is sitting on a park bench when a young punk sits down beside him. The punks hair is red, blue, green, orange, purple and spiky and the old fella can't help staring at it.

Quite smugly the young punk says "What's the matter pops, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

Quick as a flash the old fella replies "Yeah, I got drunk once, had sex with a peacock and I'm wondering if your my son!"

:o) Melissa

The Explorer replied:

***BREAKING NEWS!!!***

Elton John has filed for divorce:
==========================
Apparently he found out his new husband was having sex behind his back!