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Its not late for Friday Funny is it

Submitted: Friday, Nov 02, 2007 at 21:40

Member - Franga (QLD)

Clean can be funny.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'





So he tied her up and went golfing.

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters


'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something.

We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.'

'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back.

'I'm so tired of chardonay.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.



Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'



The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'



The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking forH erman for 51 years.
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AnswerID: 269814   Submitted: Friday, Nov 02, 2007 at 23:20

Member - Jeff H (QLD) replied:

Franga,
You're a dead pric: almost as bad as Kev qLD.//Sorry, cut. Chasers are on.

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Nature's extravagance, Holland Track.
Oct '08
Reply 1 of 3
AnswerID: 269843   Submitted: Saturday, Nov 03, 2007 at 09:29

Member - Noldi (WA) replied:

Excelent,

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Ian and Nola
Whisky 1419
Reply 2 of 3
AnswerID: 269855   Submitted: Saturday, Nov 03, 2007 at 10:49

nowimnumberone replied:

speaking of wives.
a mans wife was away on a work trip.
things havnt been going to well in the bedroom lately so he decided to get a prostitute.
looking through the paper he came accros one that would do anything for $100.
he gave her a call and she explained that for $100 she will do anything he wants.i specialise in the type of things your wife wont do.
ok he says.
half an hour later the lady turns up and he says.
so for $100 you will do any thing the wife wont do.
yes she said.
great heres $100 now get out and dont come back.
Reply 3 of 3
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