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To give you all a laugh.

Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 17:20

Member The J - Man (Cairns)

G'day troops & troopets,

I've come up with a theory that you might find funny.

"I am the centre of the Universe."

My reasoning is as follows: We are told that the Universe is infinite. Therefore, it is infinite in all directions from Me, thus making Me the centre. So when I'm out for a drive in "Old Bluey", He then becomes the centre of the universe ( as it should be ). It may be argued that my theory could apply to everyone and anything......but its my theory.....he he. By saying this, I suppose would make everybody else "just off centre." I hope nobody gets offended by this, after all its just a theory.

P.S. My Wife thinks I'm strange.
"Slow and steady wins the race."

Regards,

J - Man.
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ThreadID: 8886 Replies: 9
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AnswerID: 39086   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 18:47

cokeaddict replied:

Hey J - Man,
Makes sense to me mate. As for your wife thinking your strange, well..id check the draws and see if she has a massive insurance policy out on you, then you will know for sure that she may be right.

Just kidding ok...just kidding :-)I love it when you talk DIRTY !
Reply 1 of 9
AnswerID: 39089   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 19:29

Member - Luxoluk replied:

Hi J-man. Loved your post, it's a jem! Got any more??Butcher Country Track
Reply 2 of 9
FollowupID: 82877   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 19:51

Member The J - Man (Cairns) posted:

As a matter of fact, I do have this other one involving a "Rubber chicken, a ball of string and a bar of soap"..........no wait, thats a joke.

The Wife won't let me tell it."Slow and steady wins the race."

Regards,

J - Man.
FollowUp 1 of 1
AnswerID: 39094   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 20:02

Alex H replied:

sorry to rain on your parade, but you're about 15 years out of date - they have now decided the universe is not infinite, but only about 18 billion light years across.

Ahh what the hell, near enough infinite as makes no difference.
Reply 3 of 9
AnswerID: 39097   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:11

Willem replied:

I concur with your wife !!!!! :-)

Cheers,
Willem

Always going somewhere
Reply 4 of 9
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AnswerID: 39099   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:12

Member - Des Lexik(SA) replied:

OK So you want a joke. Came from the rounds today. Apparently the Kiwi's are so depressed from losing the Rugby, the price of Lamb has dropped to $10 per hour. A smirking apology to you Kiwi's out there.ne cede malis
Reply 5 of 9
FollowupID: 82882   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:30

Willem posted:

ooooooooo.........you're nasty, Mr. Lexik !!!!!!!!! :-))Willem

Always going somewhere
FollowUp 1 of 4
FollowupID: 82883   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:37

Member - Des Lexik(SA) posted:

G'day Willem, I could have used the alternative using Wilderbeasts and Rands so I'm not that nasty.LOLne cede malis
FollowUp 2 of 4
FollowupID: 238413   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 17:27

Brett posted:

And the NZ postal service has recalled a recent stamp issue with the All Blacks pictured

because the Kiwis don't know which side to spit on.
FollowUp 3 of 4
FollowupID: 238440   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 20:11

ron1 posted:

and i found out the other day, why kiwis dont take there wifes to the foot ball matches, Its because they keep trying to jump the fence to graze on the grass
FollowUp 4 of 4
AnswerID: 39109   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:35

GaryInOz (Vic) replied:

See if you can stretch you mind around this extention to the first entry:

If I am the center of the universe (by the infinite distance definition given earlier) and my friend 2 metres away is also the center of the universe (Mathematical derivation, infinity - 2 = infinity), then we effectively exist in the same space. Further, the concept of distance per se is effectively redundant, meaning our belly-buttons exist at exactly the same point as our big toe (for example). Effectively we are reduced to all existing in a singularity in the space/time continuum, the size of that singularity by definition being infinitely small. Put quite bluntly, we do not exist.

...and with that I have made life, the universe, and everything dissappear in a puff of logic............................

(With apologies and appropriate credits to the late Douglas Adams, author of "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy")
Reply 6 of 9
FollowupID: 82888   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:49

Member - Des Lexik(SA) posted:

Gary, I have no desire to severely reminstrate with you but simply to shoot your logic down in flames, If we don't exist, what the hell are we doing on this forum in our non-existant way. I'm sorry but you won't read this follow up because you don't exist.ne cede malis
FollowUp 1 of 11
FollowupID: 82891   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:33

GaryInOz (Vic) posted:

If you've read the book(s), you will have followed the logic........
FollowUp 2 of 11
FollowupID: 82905   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 07:54

Wayne posted:

42 :-)
FollowUp 3 of 11
FollowupID: 82916   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 09:42

GaryInOz (Vic) posted:

And the question????
FollowUp 4 of 11
FollowupID: 82933   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 12:46

Wayne posted:

Hmmm...........thats a hard one :-) could it be...........
Life, the universe and everything?
FollowUp 5 of 11
FollowupID: 82936   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 13:38

Dennis (Brisbane) posted:

6 x 7 :-O
FollowUp 6 of 11
FollowupID: 238406   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 15:36

GaryInOz (Vic) posted:

Gotcha both!!!

The answer was 6 x 9.....

And yes, it was mathematically correct......

(I knew there was something fundimentally screwed up about the universe!!!)

Next question...by what mathematical mechanism was it correct??? (clue: we are extremely biased in our thinking...)
FollowUp 7 of 11
FollowupID: 238408   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 15:49

GaryInOz (Vic) posted:

Addit: The initial question was "Life, the universe and everything" which Deep Thought gave the answer "42" after 10 000 years of deliberation. It was Deep Thought II that had to derive the question that actually gave the answer "42" and that question was "6 x 9".

Still leaves the question: how does 6 x 9 = 42?

C'mon you mathematical geniuses.....................
FollowUp 8 of 11
FollowupID: 238430   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:24

Wayne posted:

Aaaarrgghhh................I can't remember, must be due to dig them out for another read! Although if I can catch a mouse.....................
FollowUp 9 of 11
FollowupID: 238468   Submitted: Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 07:47

GaryInOz (Vic) posted:

We ASSUME that the "42" relates to the way WE count (ie. the decimal system). As anyone these days knows with computers and such there are different number systems ("bases"), Decimal has 10 numerals (0 to 9) before you "overflow"into the next digit (10 +), similar for the Hexadecimal system that has 16 numerals (0-9, then A-F), and Binary has two numerals (0 and 1).

Now....we biased humans did not count for the fact(?) that there may be beings out there with (decimal) 13 fingers, logically for them leading to a number system with thirteen numerals (example 0-9, A-C). The "forty two" was not given with its relevant base so its true amount is not really clear (for an experiment try converting 42 from hex to decimal using the calculator available from the start menu, it should equal 66 decimal)

The Maths:

42 = 4 times their "base 13" + 2 extras.........(4 x 13) + 2 = 52 + 2 = 54....= 6 X 9!!!!!!(decimal)

Hope this makes sense...

Time to get some Brownian motion going for my Infinite Improbability Drive.....................

To those that haven't read the books/seen the video/listened to the radio program sorry for occupying your time, but if you get a chance to read the books they are hilariously funny, definitely offbeat, and strangely accurate (in all the astronomical distances/sizes/relationships of the celestial bodies) and can do strange things to the way you think (VERY lateral thinking!). Douglas Adams was a keen amateur astronomer with a very sick and twisted sense of humour. I've seen all 5 books bound as one volume for about $40 or so. GO FOR IT
FollowUp 10 of 11
FollowupID: 257046   Submitted: Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 17:51

ThePublican posted:

Does the question or the answer // 6x9 // 42 // come into play when the whales decide to leave and rent out the planet to the darleks,,,oops,,thats Dr. Who to the rescue,,,, truth is we only exist in our own mindframe,,so my mind says " more scotch please ".
FollowUp 11 of 11
AnswerID: 39119   Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:39

GaryInOz (Vic) replied:

In all honesty the initial premise that "the Universe is infinite" that is at fault. The Universe is very, very large, yes, but infinite, no. The space/time continuum is believed to be curved so that if you theoretically threw a ball in free space (away from gravity) it would eventually hit you in the back of the head in several billion years time.
Reply 7 of 9
FollowupID: 82929   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 10:43

ron1 posted:

The Universe is very, very large, yes, but infinite, no.?? and u or any one else knows this as a fact because its a theory or fact? sorry not sure on who has made the tip to the end what was his or her name??
or did u mean as far as any one can guess, because in the end with out proof thats or it can be is a guess.:)
and my wife doesnt think im strange ,she says she knows i am, but then shes justbleepbecause on my list of things to take on a sailing trip ,i had the dog listed be4 her. i try to tell her mans best friend and all ,and that the dog barks when some ones coming ,she barks for any thing , but this didnt go down to well, come on babe let me back in the house , the dog smells and keeps sniffing my farts,was funny the first time till it through up on me :(
FollowUp 1 of 1
AnswerID: 39152   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 07:57

Brian replied:

AHHHH.... The Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy... such imagination, such wit, and only four books in the Trilogy!!! Sad there wasn't a fifth...... did Marvin the Paranoid Android ever get "all the diodes down the left side of my body" replaced, or was he left in utter misery forever... "I'm not getting you down am i??? Hate to think I'm getting you down!!!!"

Douglas Adams.... Right up there with the Monty Python team for mine!!!!
Cheers
Brian
Reply 8 of 9
FollowupID: 82930   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 10:57

fj45ute posted:

There was/is 5 books in the "increasing incorrectly named Hitchikers trilogy" the final book was "Mostly Harmless". But seeing as none of us actually exsist then I gues none of the books do either.

Cheers MAtt
FollowUp 1 of 4
FollowupID: 238419   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 18:12

Brian posted:

Mostly Harmless???? I had not known that this book existed... a trip to the library will be in order...... perhaps on the way I should stop and order a jinnan tonix.... I believe the ingredients for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster are still foreign to Earth???
FollowUp 2 of 4
FollowupID: 238423   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 18:27

GaryInOz (Vic) posted:

I think I'll wait until I get the "The Resturaunt at the End of the Universe" before I try a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, given their reputation!!!
FollowUp 3 of 4
FollowupID: 238424   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 18:33

Brian posted:

Make sure you drink a few pints and eat some nuts before the journey....
FollowUp 4 of 4
AnswerID: 39171   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 14:01

Member - Peter (WA) replied:

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOT SMOKING ????? PLEASE SEND ME SOME.......Born to drive a 4x4 , not a keyboard
Peter York 4x4
Reply 9 of 9
FollowupID: 200722   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 14:25

Wayne posted:

I still think digital watches are pretty cool too. :-))))))
FollowUp 1 of 5
FollowupID: 238407   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 15:38

GaryInOz (Vic) posted:

Damn, where is my towel????
FollowUp 2 of 5
FollowupID: 238421   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 18:14

Brian posted:

Check under your Electronic Thumb.... it should be there.....
FollowUp 3 of 5
FollowupID: 238427   Submitted: Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:20

Wayne posted:

What a bunch of hoopy froods we are! :-))
FollowUp 4 of 5
FollowupID: 257047   Submitted: Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 18:04

ThePublican posted:

Smoking old memories.....
The novels; The hitchhihers guide to the galaxy.1979
The restaurant at the end of the universe.1980
Life,the universe and everything. 1982
So long, and thanks for all the fish. 1984

a triology in four parts,,ISBN 0 434 00920 2
FollowUp 5 of 5