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Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 07:55

Member - R Send

I am sure that this is not normal, but I have just had a very abusive Member Message from someone who is one of the regulars on this forum.

Somewhere along the line I have obviously upset him, and that's tough! We all participate in this, and other forums, in an open manner and occassionally it gets a bit lively because we don't agree with each other's views, and I think we all accept that.

But what I don't find acceptable is someone who resorts to sending abusive messages which, on the basis of the message I have just received, are not subject to the same moderation as the messages in the forum.

And I hope he had a good trip in September!
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ThreadID: 51148 Replies: 10
Views: 1069 FollowUps: 9
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AnswerID: 269479   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 08:07

Member - John G replied:

G'day R

Don't know what sort of responses you are expecting to your email. I agree with you that "very abusive" emails are not warranted. My suggestion would be that you reply directly to the sender along the objective lines that you have used above.

It is well established that emails often fail to achieve the nuances and expression that the sender intends and misinterpretation is rife. It may be that you have to find out just how your open and lively manner was perceived by the sender.

Cheers
John Gi

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John G
Reply 1 of 10
AnswerID: 269480   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 08:08

Andrew from Vivid Adventures replied:

Don't post here... alert the owners of the site, surely.
Vivid AdventuresVivid Adventures
Member: Lapsed Membership
Reply 2 of 10
AnswerID: 269489   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 08:36

Member - R Send replied:

John G,

I wasn't particularly expecting/wanting any response - it was intended as a simple statement about what had happened, and what I thought about Forum members who cannot convey their thoughts in a reasonably polite manner on the Forum.

Heavens, even Doug T manages to get his (sometimes blunt) messages across - usually in the form of "if you don't like it, do something else!" But at least he does it in public instead of hiding away.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrew,

I posted the message because I hadn't found the feedback facility - I have now done what you suggest.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply 3 of 10
FollowupID: 532354   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 09:07

Andrew from Vivid Adventures posted:

No problems R, but the MM facility is very useful when used properly. It would be sad if it were abused or removed.
Vivid AdventuresVivid Adventures
Member: Lapsed Membership
FollowUp 1 of 1
AnswerID: 269491   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 08:40

Gerhardp1 replied:

I agree - it goes beyond the "spirit" of a forum, where it is almost impossible to convey emotions along with the text. It's hard to chuckle, speak softly, show appreciation, etc like you can with a face to face conversation, and it's difficult to "back off" or be "emphatic", or whatever else.

But to be a real pussy and start e-mailing directly outside the forum is a bit like breaking into your house - it is NOT ON.

As suggested, report it to the moderator, and send a copy of the offending mail.
Reply 4 of 10
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AnswerID: 269494   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 08:50

Moose replied:

Extremely poor form on their behalf.
Hell if we all agreed with each other what a boring forum this would become. But to resort to off-forum abuse is a bit low.
I guess that's one advantage to not being a member - one can't be MM'd :-)
Reply 5 of 10
AnswerID: 269497   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 09:07

Jimbo Vic replied:

For the most part I believe private messages should remain just that, private.

However, if it becomes threatening it is not unreasonable to make it public.


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Reply 6 of 10
FollowupID: 532357   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 10:08

Member - Davoe (Yalgoo) posted:

No they shouldnt be made public they should be forwarded on to site admin
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FollowUp 1 of 3
FollowupID: 532361   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 10:36

Member - R Send posted:

Davoe,

Agreed and it was, once I found the feedback facility.

But I haven't made the message itself, or the sender, public. Interestingly the message wouldn't last long on the Forum because of the language.

I see no reason why the Forum members shouldn't know that some fool is abusing the system. As others have said, the MM system is very useful, and it's a pity that it is being abused, because they would not want to lose it.

Site Admin have responded to let me know that they are going to monitor this sort of behaviour as they find it unacceptable too.
So hopefully that will be the end of this situation, and this thread?
FollowUp 2 of 3
FollowupID: 532364   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 10:56

Member - Christopher P (NSW) posted:

Damn where's that pesky KICK button when you need it, thee forum is here to share information, idea's, camping sweet spot's, not to abuse somebody because you don't agree with them!!! Take a look in the paper, guy got beaten because he was watering his lawn at an approved time and some idiot walked up and abused him for watering his lawn, that guy abused and beat him up and he is now dead, that's the guy watering his lawn!!!

So morel of the story is share your info, be nice and treat others as you would like to be treated! If you don't agree the voice your opinion in a calm concise way with all the facts and expertise, not back stab and lie and cheat and what ever else, I for one like to hear both sides of the story BEFORE I MAKE MY OWN DECISION!
ALSO TO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT LEAVE!!!!

Now I will get off my SOAPBOX and say that i am proud to be part of this forum and Thank You to all that have contributed the skill's and expertise, to this green 4wd enthusiast and forum!!!

I thank you all many times over and hope to meet you all up the beaten track at some point when my baby returns after being stolen!!!
My beloved 4by i worked so hard on!!!!
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FollowUp 3 of 3
AnswerID: 269528   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 12:06

Tyreman replied:

why dont you just name him and shame him

cheers shane
Reply 7 of 10
AnswerID: 269531   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 12:21

Member - Doug T (Qld) replied:

I too have had 1 member message using the 4 letter word that nearly blew the mouse of the desk , I just deleted it and from that moment on I said to myself I would never allow myself to go down to their level , so I ignored it and deleted it, but also should have sent it to head office.

Doug

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Reply 8 of 10
AnswerID: 269560   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 16:02

Gramps (NSW) replied:


LOL

"And I hope he had a good trip in September"

Who's doing the search for Members who went on a trip in September ??? This sounds like another "Elka" :)))

Just report all instances to the Moderators and carry on. Sooner or later the offenders will get the flick.

Regards


Al


Have you noticed that your memories, prior to colour TV, are in black and white
Reply 9 of 10
FollowupID: 532442   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 19:49

Member - Lance S (VIC) posted:

LOL,

Sh?t , i went to Sydney in September on the school holidays.
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FollowUp 1 of 1
AnswerID: 269612   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 21:31

Richard Kovac replied:

Hi R "s" end.

and to all the faithful you all reply to the same things all the time....

R. the reason for the MM was to see your response, not good as I see,, the people that reply, reply to something they know nothing too.. well done, to sucker them in like that. I give you credit for that.

If you remember you replayed to a post that had no reason for you to reply, and then go on to tell me not to use the keyboard are something in the nature.

so rather then use the forum I used the MM to say I don't know who you are, BUT f off. clear

you might remember ...... .......

Cheers

Richard

to all the rest have a nice day

PS you have ever wright to dob me in to the site manger or Moderator, or just call me as I use my real name if your smart you could use the phone book, like other people I my have upset, but just remember the # button.. :-)
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Reply 10 of 10
FollowupID: 532487   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 21:45

96 GXL 80 series posted:

Do as your Name suggest and show him your R Send.
FollowUp 1 of 4
FollowupID: 532492   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 21:53

Richard Kovac posted:

I know my writing is bad "what does my name sugget"?
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FollowUp 2 of 4
FollowupID: 532493   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 21:54

Richard Kovac posted:

s
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FollowupID: 532512   Submitted: Thursday, Nov 01, 2007 at 22:32

96 GXL 80 series posted:

That was a comment for the originator, to show the sender of the email his R Send.
FollowUp 4 of 4