Xmas Greetings - the year in revue

We wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to our friends, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So we met with our solicitor yesterday, and on his advice we wish to say the following:

Seasonal Greetings

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter/summer solstice
holiday, practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious
persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that it is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wishers to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Basil, your year sounded like a nightmare, especially the crap machine. My bro tried one, until I took an afternoon nap in the tent and a camper asked how long were we staying for. After that he decided that perhaps he didn't have so much of a problem.
As for disposable problems...his stomach in a bag trick means that his disposables are a problem. And he still had enough energy to make me look very crook indeed.

There are advantages to getting older...but I can't think of too many at the moment. If wisdom comes with age I can't wait to reach 12.

Sadly my missus is too awake to go for the "theraputic massage" trick. With my luck , it would be a genuine one, damm.

Try and have a good xmas.