Do You have a joker in your group !

Submitted: Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 10:04
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And if so how do you control him !

This note is about coping with such on a recent drive in the Victorian Pyrenees area.

Probably like most here we have several groups we interact with from those who quiver when the road turns to dirt, to those who think where wosses if we don't come home with at least 1 panel dent.

But do you have a practical joker amongst your group - you know the sort that puts glad wrap over the toilet bowl or puts conffetti on the blades of a rooms ceiling fan.

On our recent "Satisfying the Wives" trip I carefully documented and mailed everyone an iternary, and followed up with text messages, but it wasn't until night before that the multiple requests came in on how to use this & that etc.

We were to rendevous at Servo coffee shop initially but no one set there UHF radios right, and all 4 cars went different ways.
We were even sitting in the appointed coffee shop as one sailed past at 110.

After the roundup a lecture was given at the next coffee stop and its message was lost before everyone left the carpark.

Our group of 8 was staying at a large and lovely mudbrick cottage from where we were doing day trips, we survived the rest of the trip to the cottages ok and then went out to the Blue Pyrenees winery for a late lunch.
While the girls were pontificating about the features of the wine, behind the scenes the boys were secretly exchanging their glasses in there own experiment to see how much pre-used glasses affect the wine tasting characteristics analysis.

We (all the males) concluded none of it was a good as a crownie anyway !

It then became time for those who left home in a rush to stop at the IGA supermarket and buy exotic supplies like bread & milk but as one was going thru the checkout, another yelled out "check her bag check her bag , stop thief"
Much embassement was being felt all round, but the offended shopper new the routine having worked at a different supermarket and she grabbed the P.A. mike and called a "code yellow".
Eventually calm was restored and we all left, now fully equipped to face the challenge of the wilderness beyond the blacktop.

Back to our cottage, all sat down for tea around the magnificent table which had lovely scenic place mats, when I thought something didn't quite seem right.

A closer look revealed that the joker had had place mats made from a photo of me in buggie smugglers checking out a river crossing.

I (Robin) light the large open fire and jumped into the jaccuzi - when the joker (name withheld) began running round with what appeared to be a live buggie, all the girls were shreiking and he threw it into the jaccuzi , fortunately it floated.
Just then the smoke alarms all went off, this accident could not have been better timed.
(Note to myself - next time open the chimmey vent).

Next day we all headed off after letting tyres down except (xxxx) who had one of those fanncy "pulls your valve out tire deflators" , it promptly pulled the valve out fully
and tyre went dead flat before a solution could be found.
This meant his new super duper air compressor could be used for the first time, it worked well until it quickly overheated its yellow plastic hose and blew the end out.

Still I had one win, after some baggering I managed to get 50% to lower their tyres to less than 25 for the rocky tracks ahead (I knew asking for 18psi was dreaming).

Eager to go, 2 drove off without waiting and promptly went different ways at the very first turn onto the highway.

I re-inforced the fact that all they have to do was follow the little purple line I had pre-loaded to the GPS but it was the very next first turn off the main road which was overshot.
Soon the brave crew was onto the dirt of Sardine track and complaining how easy it was when all of a sudden they were confronted with a couple of rocks the size of cars up a steep hill.

A careful retreat was begun, and the radios actually carried sensible conversation for nearly 6 whole minutes.

Note The obstruction is at about 54 H 708945 5896140 on Sardine trk and there is a bypass.

At this 3rd wrong turn I took over, "Re-stating the convoy rule about waiting for the next car at each track junction".
Eventually we got to Mt Avoca, whereby our previous leader took off in the wrong direction again despite a sign clearly saying "North Glenpatirck -> " so I took over
and lead the way down this now quite steep and torn up track section.
(4X4 earth has it rated as double black diamond but it isn't, well not when it was bone dry as per this weekend".

Time for a relaxing evening dinner at the main resturant when during dinner I suddenly yelled out "shes got no bra on" , I was of course pointing thru the huge glass windows, but one of the lady guests thought I was pointing at her, well I was in danger of being beaten to death with a pink shawl but just in time one of the team
rushed out and wrapped a tea towel around the "Venus de Milo" statue in the garden and calm was temporarily restored.

Next day however at a different coffee shop we tried to order muggacino's from the menu written on the blackboard, when we were informed that you can't call them black boards or white boards any more, they are now known with the politically correct term of "Chalk boards".
Well ok, I'm obviously from the last century, but we try to fit in, so my wife pointed said that menu item their, whereapon the waitress asked is that from the "white or black " listing ?

At this point I gave up, but not the joker, he loved the stripped Gollywog doll type things on display in the shop and brought 3 but was also told you can't call them that, where apon he pushed them further down into the large paper carry bag
and continued the transaction by refferring to them as the "stolen generation".

Some of the other coffee customers began to take an interest and within minutes every one in the shop was discreetly shown the "Stolen Generation" , well in all the laughter and carrying on our orders got mixed up and it took another 1/2 hour before all the wives were satistified they got the right morning tea and the shop owners
were able to hussle as out.

So I get home and the very first email I open was one offering to make me a life member of this exalted grouping so you can guess what I thought was going on !

Oh well the next weekends trip is mostly a day drive and all are Exploroz people - so I'm hoping for better !

Robin Miller

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Reply By: The Landy - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 10:17

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 10:17
Way too funny...

Don't change anything, well maybe convoy procedures, you don't want people getting lost...

Cheers, Baz
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Follow Up By: pop2jocem - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 12:46

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 12:46
Agree with Baz, sounds like a fun group....mostly, but definitely brush up on convoy procedure.

By the way, as per a previous post, who organised the public liability insurance...??? (;=))

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Follow Up By: MUZBRY- Life member(Vic) - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 13:22

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 13:22
I imagine it was a group of friends having a nice weekend away ...
Great place to be Mt Blue Rag 27/12/2012

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Reply By: muzbry - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 11:55

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 11:55
As long as these "jokers" don't touch the vehicle i can mostly put up with them.
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Follow Up By: Robin Miller - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 19:42

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 19:42
You or I would never put wet mud into the end of an exhaust pipe would we Muz.
Robin Miller

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Follow Up By: pop2jocem - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:02

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:02
Actually a slice of road kill carefully wired on top of a suitable section of the exhaust pipe works too.

Not to mention the old spud up the car's tail pipe.

Not that I would ever get involved with such foolishness. (:=0)

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Follow Up By: SDG - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:06

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:06
Ever seen a condom attached to a tail pipe?
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Reply By: SDG - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:01

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:01
How to control the joker. Interesting question. Will watch out for the answers so that I can be prepared, as I'm the Joker...Have not been controlled yet. lol
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Follow Up By: Robin Miller - Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 10:21

Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 10:21
Some where some time - you will be got SDG !
Robin Miller

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Reply By: TomH - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:18

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 20:18
Reading this makes me glad we travel on our own LOL
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Follow Up By: Robin Miller - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 21:21

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 21:21
But others are so useful Tom.

I use the spare tyre as an air tank to re-inflate, but when I get low I can just attach the hose to the car next door and use their air - can't do that travelling alone.
Robin Miller

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Reply By: cookie1 - Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 21:16

Friday, Mar 20, 2015 at 21:16
A joker in our group likes to put crackers on top of the swags of those who do not like to rise as early as we would like - Cape York Bush Turkeys must sound enormous when they are 4" from your face.

Another one is to cable tie zips on tents for those that like to annoy people

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Reply By: Member - Outback Gazz - Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 09:22

Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 09:22
Good story Robin

Doesn't always pay to be the joker !

I am normally the one who plays tricks etc on the group or influences others to for the sake of a good laugh. One trip about 20 years ago with ten blokes, I had played a few of my standard tricks on some of the lads over about 6 days. Well one night I had consumed way too many of my favourite beverages and for the first time ever I was the first one to go to bed - bad move ! Out like a light and snoring loudly - the others thought it would be funny to cable tie the zips on my swag together so I couldn't get out. That wasn't a problem until the mandatory 3 oclock p - dozy and still a bit groggy I kept moving the zip from left to right then back to left again. After about 5 minutes I started getting a bit cranky and talking to myself about what the ---- is going on ? I could then hear the laughter from the others and worked out what was going on but now with a higher pressurised bladder !

The buggers left me there for another hour until one of them felt sorry for me and cut the ties. All was good after emptying the bladder as I could see the funny side and still laugh about it today !

Ever since then, I now have a spare Leatherman and a Princeton Tec mini torch in my swag under the pillow !

Tip - If you going to be the joker you have to be able to handle the pranks played on yourself otherwise you will be the goose not the joker !

Happy, safe and "fun" travelling


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Follow Up By: Ron N - Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 20:21

Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 20:21
When the brother and I owned an earthmoving business in a small country town in W.A. in the early 1980's, we had one Ted as one of our operators, and one Fred as our leading mechanic (names changed to protect their good reputations, of course!).

For some reason that I can't exactly recall, Ted was instructed to take the Mack and low-loader out at 2:00AM to shift a dozer.
It must have been pretty urgent shift, probably a big rain brewing or something like that.

Fred lived with his wife and 4 kids on the next road over, essentially a large block away. We all lived on the town outskirts, where the blocks were 5 and 10 acre size (2Ha - 4Ha).

Ted and Fred had been goading each other with various things, so Ted decides he's going to roar past Freds house with the Mack at 2:00AM, and give him a good old lengthy blast on the air horn, as he went out.

This apparently had the desired effect, as Fred rolled up for work next morning, looking a little bleary-eyed, and cursing Ted for shocking him into wakefulness at 2:00AM.
However, Ted was unaware of Freds resourcefulness and seething desire for revenge.

Ted lived in a donga with several other operators a short distance from our house, but that donga was easily accessed from Freds place, on foot.
Fred waited until Ted was at work, and he got permission to enter Teds room, and set up a car horn under his bed.
He ran the wires out through the floor to a spot at the rear of the donga, and placed a car battery right there, under the donga.

At precisely 2:00AM the following morning, with Ted sound asleep, Fred sneaked up through the intervening paddock between our properties (on foot), and plonked the car horn wires onto the battery - and left them there!!

We heard crashing, curses, and bashing and thumping noises as Ted was shocked out of a sound sleep and tried to find the source of the noise and silence it. He finally did it after a couple of minutes.

I don't think he ever forgave Fred for his "payback" - but they are still good friends, and both still work for another contractor on the coast today.
But I can tell you one thing. That "payback" stopped Ted from playing any more pranks on Fred, ever again!

Cheers, Ron.
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Follow Up By: Member - Outback Gazz - Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 20:28

Saturday, Mar 21, 2015 at 20:28



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Reply By: OutBack Wanderers - Sunday, Mar 22, 2015 at 21:21

Sunday, Mar 22, 2015 at 21:21
What do you mean, you can't call them blackboards anymore?

Obviously no one's travelled the Oxley highway towards Walcha, where you will go over Blackfellas Creek, I'm still amazed that it is still posted as, as we transversed this section 12 months ago

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Follow Up By: Member - Scott M (NSW) - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 18:36

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 18:36
OW, reminds me of a true story where I grew up. Local road was named Blackboy Road due to a prominent stand of grass trees at the end of it. Local council thought this inappropriate and asked the locals what they should call it. One local wag came up this long story about the 'Drut' family who used to live there and were local pioneers etc. and should be named and honoured. Council approved and duly replaced the existing signs with 'Drut Road' and amended the geographical data etc.... it wasn't 'till after this that the penny dropped that this was where they used to empty the night carts....... signs are still there......
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Follow Up By: Member - Scott M (NSW) - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 18:40

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 18:40
In case anyone doubts....

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