Friday, Feb 11, 2005 at 09:34
A
young man called Peter invited his mother for dinner. During the course
of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Peter's
flatmate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between
the two, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flatmate
than met the eye.
Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, I know what you
must be thinking, but I assure you, Simon & I are just flatmates.
About a week later, Simon came to Peter saying, Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan. You don't
suppose she took it do you?
Well, I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her just to be sure, said Peter, so he
sat down and wrote:
Dear mother, I'm not saying that you did take the
frying pan from my house. I'm not saying that you did not take the frying
pan. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love
peter
Several days later, Peter received an e-mail from his mother which
read:
Dear son. I'm not saying that you do sleep with Simon, and I'm not
saying that you do not sleep with Simon, but the fact remains that if he
was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the frying pan by
now.
Love mum
How do these people survive?
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could order 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
We don't have half dozen nuggets, said the teenager at the counter.
You don't? I asked.
We only have six, nine or twelve, was the reply.
So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?
That's right.
I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
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I was checking out at the local Woolies with a few items, and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine I picked up one of the
dividers they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things
so they wouldn't get mixed After the checkout girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she
could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, Do you know how much this is I said to her, I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that
today.
She said OK
I paid her for my things and left. She had no clue as to what had just
happened.
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A lady at work put a credit card into her PC's floppy drive and pulled it
out very quickly, repeating the action a few times. When I inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they
kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
thingy.
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I recently saw a distraught
young lady standing beside her car in a
parking lot.
Do you need some help? I asked.
She replied, I knew I should have replaced the battery to this
remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a convenience store 50m away) would have a battery to fit this?
Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too? I asked
No, just this remote, she answered, handing it AND the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk.
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Several years ago, we had an intern in the office who was none too swift.
One day as she was typing, she turned to a secretary and said, I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?
Just use copier machine paper, the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
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I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor
home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister.
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
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My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One day he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this to say: I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?
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Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
A piece of paper with the message He's Lying, was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the lie detector was working, the
suspect confessed.
AnswerID:
97819