A Funny one

COMPASSION

A man was sitting on a beach and he had no arms and no legs.
Three women walking past felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"
The bloke said "No", so she gave him a hug and walked away.

Then the second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The bloke said "No", so she gave him a kiss and walked away.

Then the third woman came up to him and said "Have you ever been f****d?"
The bloke said "No".

"You will be when the tide comes in!"

"Lost Luggage"

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with
tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was
already homesick.

"No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

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"Water to Wine"

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in
Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and
then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have
you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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"The Brothel"

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel
across the street.

They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said,
"Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye,
'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."

Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen
said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.