Would you like lies with that sir?

Submitted: Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:33
ThreadID: 29823 Views:2904 Replies:16 FollowUps:10
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Well, I need some now, of the little white variety.


We are going to go up north in May, for a couple or few weeks, don't know for sure, and I don't even know, or care where we end up.

No plan, just go, and do what we want to do on the day. Could go to Alice, or Darwin... don't know...

I want to take my swag, and get another swag for Tracy, but she's never slept in one, and is all worried about entering and exiting at public camping sites.


I need you good folks, to reply to this post, and lie through your teeth, even saying that you are the spouse of the person who has logged in, and tell Tracy that swags are just way cool, and rock.

Tell her how you have the best ever nights sleep, and are always warm & cosy.

Please write your responses in your best imitation female hand, so she won't know she's being duped. Use non-blokey words like...lovely... serene.... you know what I mean.

Tell her how you can't hear people snore when you're all tucked away.
Tell her the experience is a little like re-birthing, because she is in a womb-like situation.
Hell, even tell her what colour to go for..... green.... grey..... is there any others?

Tell her how when you, yourselves were first at campsites, and setting up your tents, how you seen a chick rock up, and roll out her swag, and you thought to yourself...... "Oh.... I wish I was her...." and how you laid in your tent that evening, thinking to yourself, what it must be like to live the life of a REAL female adventurer, who is at one with the outdoors.

So, can you guys.... whoops.... girls help me out here?


"Wow Mr. Wolf, what a big swag you have."

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Reply By: Member - Roachie (SA) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:48

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:48
hiya wolfie,
it's annette here (not my grumpy ol' man...lolol). I saw your plea and couldn't resist to temptation to reply while Bill is in the shower.
We bought our 3 boys their swags just over 12 months ago. Up til then neither Bill nor I had ever slept in a swag, so as soon as the 1st opportunity arose, and our youngest little fellow didn't want to use his, I jumped in to see what it was like.

To my surprise, I had THE BEST nights sleep ever!!! It was sooo warm and cosy in there. I love the army-green colour!!

Getting in and out of the swag is a breeze, you just remember to put your clothes on before undoing the zip......

ooops better go, Bill is coming.
AnswerID: 149315

Reply By: Member - bushfix - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:49

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:49
tell her you can fart as loud and long as you like in them and no one else will hear..

AnswerID: 149316

Follow Up By: Michael B - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 13:04

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 13:04

Bushie, best belly laugh I had all week.....but somehow I just can't picture Wolfie (although I have never met him) tryng to sell his idea using your logic, LOL

Love it

Michael B (SA)
or I s'pose it should be Michelle to retain the validity of this thread
FollowupID: 402548

Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:38

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:38
Passing out from your own alcohol induced "Dutch Oven" doesn't impress me greatly................
FollowupID: 402603

Follow Up By: gramps - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:55

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:55
Sure makes you get out quicker. Timing is the key :)))))))
FollowupID: 402615

Reply By: gramps - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:49

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:49
Now Wolfie, you should have a double swag for when you are both away and a single when you're alone.
AnswerID: 149317

Reply By: Willem - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:51

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:51
Why don't you just buy a caravan like Jimbo and then all should be sweet.

Been there and done that with a swag. Good, practical, comfortable.

Always remeber to put a plastic sheet or something like that down on the ground to lay the swag on so that the creepy crawlies don't wander into your bed....LOL
AnswerID: 149318

Reply By: glenno(qld) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:59

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 08:59
SWAG , Definition = scientific wild-assed guess .
AnswerID: 149321

Follow Up By: Member - Pezza (QLD) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 20:35

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 20:35
G'day Glenno,
Can't send you a mm, could you send me a message via electronic carrier pidgeon to pezzamail@bigponddotcomdotau.

FollowupID: 402715

Reply By: Member - Reiner G (QLD) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:13

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:13
Lone Wolf. Tell your wife she has to at least try the swag thing for a few nights that will do the trick anyway.
I spend 3 month in my swag ones and I used to be asleep within 20 sec. The best sleep you can ever have.
My Swag has a self-inflating mattress and I have 3 cotton liners which I can put in or take out depending on outside temperatures plus they can be washed easy.
I love my swag and so will your woman, don't worry.
Have fun
AnswerID: 149324

Reply By: Turbo Diesel - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:19

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:19
Obviously you need a double swag so the two of you can do the bad thing together, hang on is this why your wife is not interested in swags???? LOL Seriously im not going to pretend im a wowan but the swags are so easy to use, enjoy your trip.
AnswerID: 149325

Follow Up By: geocacher (djcache) - Thursday, Jan 19, 2006 at 00:50

Thursday, Jan 19, 2006 at 00:50
Maybe that's why the other wives or husbands are encouraging single swags....
FollowupID: 402781

Reply By: Kartie - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:37

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:37
Well Lone Wolf, all I can say to your woman is they are GREAT!
I'm 'a woman' and spent my first night in a swag at the age of 60, in the middle of nowhere, somewhere out of Tarcoola S.A. (Admitedly not in a campground with other people) Had the best nitght's sleep and when a shower passed over us, I just pulled my head in like a turtle and stayed dry and cozy. When I woke the next morning found that we were in the middle of a field of paper daisies.....MAGIC! You see it was midnight when we stopped for the night. We went on 'swagging it' down Googs Track to Ceduna, then back to Glendambo via Gawler Ranges. A wonderful trip thanks to the SWAGS.......there is nothing like it, if you want to experience the great outdoors, close at hand. Just remember to dress before rising if you are in a campground.....better still, sleep in your clothes!
Don't be afraid and always 'trust your swag'!
Happy Adventuring!
AnswerID: 149332

Reply By: Footloose - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:41

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 09:41
Wolfie, don't tell your missus any lies. They will come back and bite you big time, as a female has a memory far better than an elephant ! :))))
AnswerID: 149334

Follow Up By: gramps - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 10:24

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 10:24
and more prone to dishing out unending retribution LOLOLOL
FollowupID: 402487

Follow Up By: Footloose - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 10:49

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 10:49
Oh Yes ! You may find yourself attending unending CWA meetings, and shopping sprees that make your credit card look sicker than a kanga in the top paddock !
FollowupID: 402494

Reply By: simple - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 12:08

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 12:08
my girlfriend has a swag and loves it. if it's privacy she's worried about just camp somewhere out of the way, its much more romantic. or you could use a tarp slung off the car as a bit of a tent or a lean to.

one of the girl's friens even has a bright pink one, i'd be too embarrassed to sleep in it, but it'd be easy to find on that late night stagger back to camp.

AnswerID: 149365

Reply By: slave - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:51

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:51
Well Wolfie, I'm female and not going to tell you any lies !!!

Get Tracey to try sleeping in your swag first thats the best way for her to see what it is like and no one needs to tell any lies. It took me 40+ years to sleep in a swag.
By the way ours is a double as the other half insisted LOL and I instisted on a dome type swag.

Sorry but you can hear people snore, but thats part of 'public' camping. It's the same wether you are in a tent or caravan.

I actually find ours a lot warmer than sleeping in the family dome tent with the 4 of us. For our Simpson trip in June/July 05 we use a fitted sheet on the bottom and a cheap dacron doona and a wool quilt I made ( I'm in to quilting) and found that if the wool quilt was next to our skin we were really warm. I usually stripped off during the night as I was too hot !!!! and that was with the end window open too.

One couple we met in the Flinders the previous year used a popup toilet/shower tent for a change room. She slpet in shorts and t-shirts so looked respectable when goingto bed and getting up. We took one for our Simpson trip but I ended up using to the kids tent. Setting the swag up behind the car gives a bit of privacy too.

I said I would never sleep in a swag, but after watching how quickly another couple who were using a swag were able to break camp and knowing we were doing a lot of one night camps while on Simpson trip I decided it was worth trying as 'he' wanted to be on the road by 9am.

Sorry for dribbling on, but hope I have helped a little.

Mrs Slave
AnswerID: 149396

Reply By: Rick (S.A.) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:51

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 14:51

Swags are weather proof & comfy like all these folk say. But what makes a stay in a swag unique is the fact that it is simple and quick. Get some personal space by using the highly portable SWAG.

For stress free camping, a swag is good. Don't muck about with air mattresses (cold things) or shoving tent pegs in & erecting cyclone proof establishments. Just pick a clean spot (which you are gunna do for any other sleeping arrangement) & unroll the swag. Finished.

KISS is the go (Keep It Simple, Stupid).

If you are the modest type, unroll your swag behind a bush (windbreak) or tree. The rest of us are busy gazing at the fire, or the sky, or the end of a bottle, so we won't be looking. And camp a goodly distance away from all other sleepers. That way you get privacy & quiet. Nothing worse than sleeping next to snoring, farting folk.

In our advancing years, fellas like me & Ian Bee ( where gravity has made our manly chests slip a bit) need some extra comfort besides the normal , covered, 50 mm foam mattresses. So, if you use a stretcher, it gets you a serious degree more comfort; is easier to get in & out of; & lowers the risk of ants etc interfering with your zeddds.

As a final recommendation, can I suggest you get a swag that has a ventilation feature - mesh/mozzie net, and ends that can be tied off above your head/feet. Swags are usually a warmer way of sleeping that just in a sleeping bag in a tent. I prefer sheets/doonas/blankets to a sleeping bag. More like home, more comfy, much easier to regulate temperature.

AnswerID: 149397

Reply By: bruce.h (WA) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 15:11

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 15:11
tell her that it far safer when traveling in the NT to travel in a swag rather than a tent as it harder for the dingo's to get you out of a swag!
AnswerID: 149400

Follow Up By: ev700 - Saturday, Jan 21, 2006 at 12:47

Saturday, Jan 21, 2006 at 12:47
Pre-wrapped take-away for the salties :-(
FollowupID: 403340

Reply By: Des Lexic - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 17:55

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 17:55
Dear Red Riding Hood,
You can buy a swag that is part of a stretcher so that you are off the ground and in your own cocoon where the big bad wolf can't get you on the way to Grandma's house. He will have to keep his big teeth, big mouth(sorry wolfie) and big ears all to himself. I know that our local Hook Line and Ripemoff store here sells them. Probably available near Grandma's house.
AnswerID: 149441

Reply By: Lone Wolf - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 21:03

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 21:03
Well, it must have worked!!!

All you wonderful chicks out there, as well as giving her a laugh, have convinced her that the swag is the way to go.

Gotta stop at our camping store tomorrow night to suss 'em out.

Now.... last time I went to a camping store, to buy a chair, I came out with a stove...... gotta wonder what I'm gonna get, don't ya.....

Thank you guys'n'gals...

AnswerID: 149486

Follow Up By: Rick (S.A.) - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 21:35

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 21:35
Wolfie, suss the Candy Canvas swags made in Tintinara. Their website is not the flashest, but v good quality products.

Get a swag with a canvas bottom, not vinyl which won't breathe.

Beware swags which have:
no foot flaps
no head flaps
studs to do them up on the top

Good luck to the novice swagee................
FollowupID: 402734

Follow Up By: gramps - Friday, Jan 20, 2006 at 18:03

Friday, Jan 20, 2006 at 18:03

Time to come clean. What did you walk out of the camping store with? Hmmmm .... :)))
FollowupID: 403200

Reply By: slave - Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 23:10

Wednesday, Jan 18, 2006 at 23:10
Glad to help but don't rush in, look and look some more there are lots of different designs and high denisty isn't always High Density

Mrs Slave
AnswerID: 149514

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