You're mad, you bastard!!! Green Ants

Submitted: Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 13:58
ThreadID: 55327 Views:2774 Replies:10 FollowUps:8
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Have you ever eaten one?....Or many?

Years ago I used to run a tour business in Darwin.
Amongst other sights I would take my clients out on the Marrakai Plains for an afternoon walk in the scrub.

There used to be a Strychnine Tree with its yellow fruits, growing on a rise.(Now there is a sign closeby stating Djukbinj National Park).

I would tell the folks a yarn about the old fella who lived to be 105 because he ate one of these berries every day.

Now, the strychnine berry is the foulest tasting fruit you may find.

I would entice someone to take a bite of the berry advising that its taste may not be all that palatable but I would bite into one myself to prove that it was edible....and that I was going to live for a long time as well.

Those who did, spat the contents of the berry out in haste, as it leaves the bitterest taste in your mouth.

Then I would tell them that the only cure for that taste was to eat some green ants. I would then shake another tree nearby which had a colony of green ants living in it . The ants would get really angry and run out on to my hand and arm biting all the way. I would then run my mouth over my arm engulfing some ants and start chewing. The green ant is similar to the honey ant as its body contains some green fluid which tastes like citronella. You have to chew quickly, of course, as the ants tend to bite you at every opportunity. The ants also used to get into my beard and bite me later for my troubles.

Aussies normally took the joke in their stride but Europeans and Americans used to throw up on cue.

I always had some liquorice or bon bons in my pocket to cure the disgusting berry taste for those who refrained from eating ants.

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Reply By: Hairy (NT) - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:16

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:16
Gday Willem,

We were having a beer at my place one day when a mate went out the back for a leak.
He come back saying one of my kids had done a crap in the middle of the lawn!
I knew she hadnt because she was wearing nappies, but I went out for a look any way.
Then I saw what he was talking about! But it was just a lunp of dried mud.
Anyway I gave it a spray with wd40 to give it a bit of shine, put it on a shovel and brought it back to the table where everyone was sitting.
Then I did the, looks like crap......,smells like crap........, CRUNCH!!! tastes like crap!
A mate jumped up from the table, run about 10 paces, and threw his ring up!!! LOL

Then I had the taste of WD40 and dirt in my mouth for a couple of hours, but it was worth it!!!

AnswerID: 291597

Follow Up By: Member - joc45 (WA) - Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 00:09

Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 00:09
Hi Hairy,
Over in the west here, I help out on controls with the Avon Descent boat race from time to time. It's over a couple of days, so I stocked up on food, including a tin of Braised Steak & Onions to go into a jaffal for lunch. While browsing the supermarket, I found a label off a tin of dog food lying on the floor, so I kept it and later, as a lark, stuck it on the tin of BS&O.
Later at the Avon, it was time for lunch, my mate yells out "Gerry, what do you want in your jaffal, Kit-e-Kat or Lucky Dog?" "Lucky Dog, thanks!" I reply.
A couple of kids were watching this, as my mate opened the tin of "Lucky Dog" and scooped it into the jaffal. When it was cooked, the kids were just about spewing as they watched us ravenously scoff into the Lucky Dog jaffals.
If the truth be known, dog food probably wouldn't be any worse than BS&O.
Cheers, Gerry
FollowupID: 557038

Follow Up By: Hairy (NT) - Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 10:27

Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 10:27
Trouble with my mates is they wouldnt hesitate to eat the lucky dog, in fact a couple of them would probably prefer it!

FollowupID: 557070

Reply By: Member - Doug T (FNQ) - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:17

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:17
You been too long in the sun without a hat

Yeh ...OK i believe you , ya tough old Bastard

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AnswerID: 291598

Reply By: Jim from Best Off Road - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:17

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:17
We used to nibble on a few in Townsville.

Not silly enough to stick the whole thing in my gob LOL. Used to grab them by the head and bite off the back section. Quite a pleasant, sweet tasting, honey like, morsel.

Apparently will keep you going in the bush if needed due to their high sugar content.

AnswerID: 291599

Follow Up By: Member - Duncan W (WA) - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 16:36

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 16:36
Gave them a try in Katherine. Like you Jim I just bit the backsides off. Tasted like sweet and sour grass,
Make sure you give back more than you take

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Reply By: Steve from Top End Explorer Tours - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:35

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 14:35
Hey Willem

You and I have the same sense of humour.

I do a talk on surviving in the Top End and use the black fella way of finding things like shelter water and food.

I tell them how to find out if a berry or plant can be determined for eating, and use the old army way that takes over 12 hours to determine, then I tell them we don't have that much time and ask them to take a bite out of the quinine berry, then get them to tell me weather they would eat it, then have a good laugh along with those that didn't have a bite, Quinine is The most bitter taste known to man.

When I do a talk on Green Ants, I don't do the lick it's bum thing, I crush the whole nest and eat a hand full, the ascorbic acid is bitter but great for a cold.

When visiting a Bat colony, I used to send them in first, while they were walking in I would get some Vegemite and put some on my shoulder, when asked what it was I would tell them it is bat Sh1t and then dip my finger in it and taste it, explaining it was a black fella delicacy some would try it and the look on there faces was priceless.

Cheers Steve.
AnswerID: 291603

Follow Up By: Footloose - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 19:33

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 19:33
Steve, you're a naughty boy...I loved the bat story. Heaven help us if you and Willem get together for a grubup, I rekkon neither of you could fool the other one too easily :))
FollowupID: 556992

Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 05:21

Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 05:21
I was just thinking that too footie, imagine how wide eyed we would be hahahahah
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Reply By: Louie the fly - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 16:07

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 16:07
Tried one in Litchfield Park years ago. Needed salt!
AnswerID: 291612

Reply By: DCTriton - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 16:32

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 16:32
played those games in the army... good times
AnswerID: 291616

Reply By: Footloose - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 19:35

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 19:35
I rekkon you probably had the bon bons in your pocket all the time, whether you pulled that caper or not LOL
AnswerID: 291659

Reply By: Member - Roger B (VIC) - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 20:55

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 20:55
A "Polly Waffle" floating in a pool can provide quite a bit of humour too. It has the same texture colour and shape as a healthy turd ! I Leave it all to your imagination !!
AnswerID: 291676

Follow Up By: Richard Kovac - Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 17:53

Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 17:53
Bill Murray??
FollowupID: 557125

Reply By: Member - Michael J (SA) - Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 23:05

Saturday, Mar 08, 2008 at 23:05
Poor old sod,

I will speak to Gilly and we will get you
some decent tucker............

AnswerID: 291699

Follow Up By: Willem - Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 08:10

Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 08:10
Yer all heart...................................
FollowupID: 557055

Follow Up By: Member - Roger B (VIC) - Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 21:56

Sunday, Mar 09, 2008 at 21:56
Bill Murrays the one. My sister in law doesn't like me doing it in her pool !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FollowupID: 557196

Reply By: Member - Cocka - Thursday, Mar 27, 2008 at 17:01

Thursday, Mar 27, 2008 at 17:01
G'day Willem & g'day fellas. I'm back in town for what it's worth.

You guys eating survival food etc & impressing the tourists (not) reminds me of Barry Humpheries (Dame Edna), when he was at uni he and some mates practised Dardarist humour on the masses. eg He and a mate would dress up as hobos, old coats, fingerless gloves, dirty long hair, unshaven, worn out shoes etc, and near a city railway entrance one would give the appearance of vomiting into an old bit of newspaper. They actually had concealed in their coat an open tin of Heinze Russian Salad or something else that looked as equally revolting which they poured into the newspaper.

Their act was to then lay the paper on the pavement with all the peak hour pedestrians stepping around them, pull out a couple of plastic forks and proceed to eat what looked like a big chunder.

Of course at the sight of these hobos there would be the revolted racing to the gutter and bins to have their own real big chuck.

I had a couple of bad ones that I used to do also . . . . . maybe another day I'll tell you about them . . . . . pretty bad really, in hindsight.
AnswerID: 295029

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