Hypothetically.

Hit the EPIRB

Don't panic ! Assess the situation. Don't waste your energy. Remove your battery immediately from the engine bay so that it remains upright and does not cause a fire and disconnect the spare battery. Rig up a tarp, blanket or whatever for shade. Conserve your energy and don't panic. Don't leave your vehicle. Use your water very sparingly and only drink water in small sips and try to collect more water from the morning dew. You would have left instructions with someone as to your whereabouts and expected time of arrival at the end of your desert trip. Make up an arial from various wires you can lay your hands on and attach them to your UHF and try to make contact with anyone. Check your co-ordinates with your GPS so that you may relay them if someone hears you. Remove a mirror from the vehicle and use it to signal to passing jetliners using Morse Code SOS. Sit quietly and if you are religious then a Prayer might help.

Cheers, Willem
Never a dull moment

Rick
Once you have accessed the situation, do as the natives do and set up camp.
If you have a Toyota, the beer can be opened on the rear door latches.
Otherwise its shanks's pony to the nearest phone.
Remember that NRMA will put you up in 5 star accomodation(with plus) whilst they organise retrieval, and seeing asthough it didnt happen due to being overloaded to start with they will probably honour the insurance claim, but thats dependant on the track appearing on their map.
Andrewwheredayathinkwer mike?

Rick
One of the safest ways around your problem is ALWAYS travel with another vehicle in very remote isolated country.
Yes it may be a pain and cause stress at times but it sure beats dying of thirst because noone was there to help.
Bush Bappo's 4WD Club
Get out there & have a look

just sit there till pay day and come hell or high water your wife will find you.
ps drink the beer before it goes warm.got over no fraser.
get on with life(more weekend fun)

Hmm, well there seems to be a general concensus as to what is needed to be done.
How about we make it a bit more interesting?

Lets see now, how about.....
the fridge broke of its mount and all the beer is rapidly going warm, and...
you've got a broken arm.
And don't forget, the missus is with you.

rick.

Did you break your arm when the missus slapped you?
Slap her back with your good arm for leaving the EPIRB home and she'll go running home to mother and after she realises the error of her ways, she'll send help. PS even warm beer is better than no beerAlpaca

Dont drink beer in that situation. asses your situation move camp 20mts from 4wd in case it catches fire. Fix broken arm in splint. stay put, someone will see your tyre tracks and follow you unless you get rain then you get extra water. stay in the shade rig up shade etc dig out sand from under the wheel side so you can roll the 4by over, thats the wifes job. then she can fix the tyres as she has been taking notes since youve owned it. Last thing is DIE i supose, but that should only bee tryed as a last resort!!!!Have 4WD will Explore

Gday all
if you are in the outback the & the situation is dire ,as it is sujested you should remove one of the buggered tyres start a fire & throw the tyre on.
Heavy black smoke in the out back is unusual & will atrack the attention of the station owners who will investigate the cause, hence bringing help.
dont forget to hang any plastic bags you have over any bushes around as this will produce all the water you need to survive & remmber beer hastens dehidration ,so your chioce death by thirst or by constant nagging in the words of homer simpson ahh beer :)~

mmm! what to do
shoot myself so I dont have to put up with the nagging,
Go get help for the same reason,
drink all the beer in one go....yep for the same reason,
Rick, when somebody comes up with the answer will you place a special post!!
Wow! am I cute
Richard