Ban the campfire

Submitted: Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:26
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Its time to ban the camp fire. They are very dangerous people get burnt all the time, they get hot you know They have also caused numerous bushfires. They do not come with any safety warnings and you are expected to use common sense when having one, and we all know common sense is not common.
Here is a pic of my Kookaburra Cooker. The red bit is the printed warnings that come with it and the black parts is printed on the cooker itself.


As you can see the warnings are now where big enough and there are no flashing red lights and warning sirens for the person who cannot read and/or has no brains. This is simply not good enough and thank goodness the authorities have taken steps and banned the further sale of these killer machines.

But have they gone far enough? I have used my cooker on over 500 occasions now without incident, its an absolute wonder I am not dead. Why are not all these death traps being recalled? At least I am comforted by the fact that the Government is concerned about my welfare and that when my cooker blows up in my face they will look after me.

Now I know that most of you are horrified at the thought of the campfire being banned. But you must think of your fellow man who is not endowed with the same amount brains and common sense as you.

It has been shown that we cannot handle a little cooker so how can we be expected to handle a campfire where they flames can be metres high and much hotter.

Now knowing government (I have been around a long time so I know) they will find a solution and I reckon I can guess what it will be. What they will do is you will have to obtain a licence to have a camp fire. This will require a 5 day course and cost you a s...load of money. Having done the course (everyone passes) you pay another s...load of money and provided you are not a criminal, arsonist, sex offender, deviate, terrorist, etc you will get a piece of plastic that permits you to have a campfire under certain conditions.

These conditions will be spelt out in the fine print, but for the grey nomads among us, our aging eyes will not be able to read them, but that is not a problem we will use our commonsense.

So everyone shout from the roof top BAN THE CAMPFIRE.

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Reply By: Member - John - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:41

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:41
ROTFPMSL......
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Follow Up By: Idler Chris - Vic - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:50

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:50
It took me ages to write it because I also could not stop doing it.
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Follow Up By: Bob Y. - Qld - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:16

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:16
Ha ha, enjoyed that, Chris!! Not only clever but funny too.

Think you might be wrong though........they won't ban campfires, but will ban the use of wood, coal, coke, grass, ULP and all other flammable goods, that are intended to be used in aforementioned campfires, for the enjoyment of travellers, campers, Boy Scouts etc.

Instead one will be able to purchase "Campfire Kits" from BCF, Rays 'n Supercheap, which will be a piece of red cellophane, an LED display, with multiple programming effects, and a free "D" size battery. Thus one will have the joys of a campfire, without the smoke, coals and other dangerous substances. You want toast??? Light the gas and cook the toast on that.......no atmosphere? Sorry, that's too dangerous, you might get burnt.

Bob (not trying to steal your thunder, Chris :-))
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Follow Up By: Member - Laurie K (WA) - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 23:08

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 23:08
Can't light the gas ...... they banned the stove .......

Love it Chris.

Laurie
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Reply By: Member - DingoBlue(WA) - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:46

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:46
Chris,
I think motor vehicles are more dangerous.......
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Reply By: Member -Pinko (NSW) - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:59

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 20:59
I was laying on the desk trying to read that attachment and I fell on to the floor.
I need physio on my hip now !
Living is a journey,it depends on where you go !
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Follow Up By: Idler Chris - Vic - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:02

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:02
Sorry to hear that Pinko, never mind the government will look after you.
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Reply By: Rangiephil - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:04

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:04
Well Qld National parks have banned them on the beach at Byfield unless they are in an elevated fire pit, as the fire might kill the seeds in the sand.

Also you are not allowed to gather wood outside the park, but must BUY wood as feral wood might have fungi that kill the trees, which will not be harmed anyway if the fire is in an elevated pit.

The bureaucracy is strangling us.

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Follow Up By: Rangiephil - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:10

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 21:10
I don't know if you are aware that NSW fair Trading has reportedly banned the sale of those one burner stoves in NSW, so its worse than you think! you are in danger of imminent Immolation!

Although I must admit I have actually seen someone badly burned on the arms after lighting his with the trivet on upside down .

This discussion is on the AULRO forum at present, but I notice that a Primus brand one is on sale at BCF at the moment. Maybe Primus has a cut off valve or something.
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Follow Up By: Les - PK Ranger - Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 22:21

Monday, Mar 23, 2015 at 22:21
Philip, a lot of catalogues received recently (even up until today) have had them in there, singles and doubles, but you go online and the same sale catalogue there has something else in its place.
BCF (a few days ago) and Anaconda (today) were the ones I saw this with, obviously the printing is ordered way in advance.
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Follow Up By: Dr Hook - Wednesday, Mar 25, 2015 at 10:13

Wednesday, Mar 25, 2015 at 10:13
What is an "elevated pit"???
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Follow Up By: Les - PK Ranger - Wednesday, Mar 25, 2015 at 10:50

Wednesday, Mar 25, 2015 at 10:50
Brazier type or slotted fire pit.
Still can't use them on ban days etc, but helpful not to damage surrounding with fire pits or burning grasses etc.
You allow to cool right off, scatter and water the ashes, scatter so no real visible signs of your being there.
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Follow Up By: Dr Hook - Wednesday, Mar 25, 2015 at 12:41

Wednesday, Mar 25, 2015 at 12:41
Got one, Les, but its called a "brazier"
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Reply By: Tony H15 - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 00:18

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 00:18
I don't think banning camp fires is going far enough, to ensure people can't light campfires matches, cigarette lighters, sticks to rub together, flints, magnifying glasses, spectacles and anything else that can be used to start a campfire should also be banned. that way I won't be smoked out by those who insist on a camp fire simply because they are camping. Very few seem to realize the purpose of a campfire is to cook food on, it is not to smoke out your neighbour nor is it to burn the surrounding bush because they can't be bothered extinguishing their fire properly before moving on.
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Follow Up By: OBJ - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:40

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:40
But the smoke does clear away the mosquitos. Gotta look for the good in everything.
OBJ
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Follow Up By: AlanTH - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 10:32

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 10:32
When we go out we make sure where the pyromaniacs who insist on a big fire are going to have them first. Then we can camp upwind (and hope it stays that way) as we both suffer from COPD which is aggravated badly by smoke.
I rarely bother cooking on their fire (other members feel they have to keep playing with the damn thing stirring ash up) so they can't accuse us of using it, but not contributing by dragging trees into camp.
Ban them immediately. :-))
AlanH.
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Reply By: Member - John (Vic) - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 03:41

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 03:41
Me thinks your bored, time to go bush once again. :)

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Follow Up By: vk1dx - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:13

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:13
Can I come too!!!!!
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Follow Up By: Idler Chris - Vic - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:32

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:32
Far from it BJ, this being retired is hard work, there are just not enough hours in the day. No its the knee jerk reaction to some idiot who can't use common sense, so the vast majority have to suffer. Cars and guns kill people with great regularity but they don't get banned.
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Follow Up By: Tony H15 - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 20:17

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 20:17
Now that's funny, I have the same problem, when I was working I managed to fit in a job along with camping, caravaning boating, cycling, etc, etc, etc, now I'm retired I just don't have the time anymore.
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Reply By: vk1dx - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:16

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 08:16
Bloody hell ! I will be in deep trouble. I never read the instructions. Looks like cold meat sandwiches again.

Thanks Chris just at the right time mate. I needed a laugh.

PS Got the go ahead for that solo trip from all parties. Can't wait.
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Reply By: Member - mike g2 - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 12:37

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 12:37
Absolutely love it! some basic legal from along time ago-- I recollect there is still a statute on the books that says something like: Thou shalt not drive an omnibus on the kings highway beyond the hours of .... without forbearing a man on foot 6 paces to the front carrying a red flag" ( this is warn of the loud engine coming and wouldn't gallop any by passing horses).
I also heard a ?urban myth that microwaves in USA have a warning- not for use in drying your pets.

a course to have a camp fire? bring it on.
MG.
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Reply By: Idler Chris - Vic - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 13:15

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 13:15
From todays newspaper.
Man sets car on fire using lighter to see while refuelling
Police question the wisdom of a man who accidentally set his car on fire when he used a cigarette lighter to see while refuelling his car with a jerry can in western Victoria.


Full story here http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-24/man-sets-car-on-fire-using-lighter-to-see-while-refuelling/6343602

Now its time to ban the cigarette lighter, they are very dangerous. This poor fella nearly got killed.
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Follow Up By: Bob Y. - Qld - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 13:30

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 13:30
Definitely a Darwin Award winner, this bloke, Chris. :-)

Reminds me of a yarn off a station, some 35 years ago. Some ringers were camped at an outstation, and the cylinder for the gas lamp happened to be empty while they were having breakfast. Proceeded to fill the cylinder, but during the filling process someone dropped the bleed screw..........apparently no one had a torch, so one bright spark lit a match to find it!!!

A few minor burns amongst the group, but the hut was demolished.

Bob

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Reply By: Bigfish - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 13:37

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 13:37
I went outside just to make sure the sky wasn't falling....
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Reply By: Pushy - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:08

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:08
need to ban gas cylinders as well. When i did my decanting course our instructor informed us of the dangers but said that the most common cause of accidents was bored staff, after doing fill after fill, lighting up a ciggy.
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Reply By: Robin Miller - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:41

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:41
Ok thats done it - your not allowed to sit within 10m of the campfire on saturday nights Exploroz trip - and I hear its going to be cool !
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Follow Up By: Idler Chris - Vic - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:48

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:48
Thats OK, Aldi have butane heaters on special at the moments, I will just go down and get one.
What other people think of me is none of my business.
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Reply By: Slow one - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:50

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 16:50
I am astounded that a little thing like a stove comes with such a big warning drawing your attention to the dangers.

What about SEX. It doesn't come with any warnings and has caused far more damage than any campfire or gas appliance.

I think I will lobbying the government to reclassify SEX to at least Class1 or have it banned all together. SEX is already Class 4.3 but it needs reclassifying urgently.

SEX is dangerous
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Follow Up By: Bob Y. - Qld - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 19:29

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 19:29
Slow,

I've carted quite a bit of SEX into the 'Curry, and I'm glad I wasn't doing it when I was a lot younger...............just didn't get any satisfaction out of it. :-)

Bob

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Reply By: Member - Odog - Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 17:51

Tuesday, Mar 24, 2015 at 17:51
Maybe we could sell the rights to having a camp fire, to the Chinese, they seem to buy everything else....
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Reply By: Member - Scott M (NSW) - Thursday, Mar 26, 2015 at 00:27

Thursday, Mar 26, 2015 at 00:27
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Follow Up By: Billion Star Camper - Friday, Mar 27, 2015 at 08:59

Friday, Mar 27, 2015 at 08:59
I here that aluminum ladders made in the USA had to be built with bigger frames to carry the warning stickers in three languages.

It seems that common sense and self preservation are abilities that are not taken for granted anymore.

I personally prefer the Darwin laws be used (selection of the species). If you are too dumb to use common sense when using a cooker or a ladder then you are too dumb to have offspring. Or survival of the smartest. There are other slightly more descriptive descriptions of the Darwin Laws, but probably wouldn't get published.
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Reply By: newhue - Sunday, Mar 29, 2015 at 21:00

Sunday, Mar 29, 2015 at 21:00
Just get another beer.
The safety nazi's will blame the painful dump public for more and more rules and restrictions, however its OH&S for park staff that's driving it. Also why so many closures and gates have gone up. Well that's my view on it.
Soon enough National Parks will have so many bollards protecting manacured sterol camp grounds, you won't be able to burn the place down no matter how hard you try. You will also wonder why you bothered going. Less visitors, less funds required, less exposure to litigation.

Every summer vast tracts of Australia goes up. Its not a new phenomena, and it's not from recless campers. The banning of fires in Qld anyway has FA to do with sustainability. It's a way of minimising risk, and most of it it's not yours.

I find it almost pathetic we are meant to enjoy camping huddling around the LED light on a cold night, yah thanks NP's....we are all safe tonight but bored bleep less.


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