Daughter Rhiannan caught me red handed standing behind my Honda, looking all sheepish.
“Whatcha doin’ Dad?” she asked.
“Ummmmmm........ nothing........” I said.
She looks around me and sees the small white disc of Jac Paper lying on the ground.
“Muuuummmmm......... Dad’s put ANOTHER sticker on his car.........”
“Rhiannan” I say......”this sticker is not just your average sticker, it’s an Explore Oz sticker, it has a special significance darling”
She rolls her eyes upwards.....”Okay.......lets hear it.......”
Just as I’m about to explain the significance of the sticker, and how the Lone Wolf has come of age & joined the Tribe, how the initiation process is now completed, Tracy ( Wife ) hops into her car to go shopping.
“Mum!!! Wait for me!!” Rhiannan shouts. “ Sorry Dad.... gotta go with Mum......maybe later...”
Well, talk about rain on my parade! The sticker laying ceremony was falling apart big time.
You see, some things mean a lot to me... I never fought in a war, so I have no medals. I never won a competition, so I have no prizes. I never won a sporting event, so I have no trophies. But, I am now a member of an Exploring Fraternity!!!
Yes, I am going to have to set some ground rules now. If the kids want to borrow my car, they have a responsibility to the Explorer brethren. No picking noses whilst at traffic lights, none of that techno crap coming through MY woofer! These rules must be obeyed, or I may be struck off the
forum and banished. Yes...... they must wear the sticker on the rear of my car with pride.
Okay...... move over all you Bad Girls, Pornstars, Kenwoods, & Senior Card Holders, for there’s a new kid on
the block! The Lone Wolf who belongs to an Exploring Fraternity!!
Yes, I’m sitting here now fantasising about the ramifications already.........sitting at the lights, and I notice the babe in the car behind me is applying lipstick, pouting at me. Lights go green, she somehow passes me, knowing that in my car there is a rugged outdoorsy guy in the car, and she wants me to chase her!
I tell ya what, hope Tracy doesn’t see this, she’ll peel my sticker off! Probably put it on my son’s car, maybe to help him get a girlfriend, what with the special powers the sticker possesses.
Anyone would think I was hamming it up for another sticker.......... for my other car.........
Okay, I can maybe live without the second sticker, because I have the.......
MEMBERSHIP CARD!!!!
Now, the secret with these little babies is this. Forget about flashing your Gold Plated Platinum Shielded Uranium Credit Card, just use it for a serious cash advance, stuff the bills into your wallet, and see if you can get some international currency as
well, looks all very James Bond sitting there in your wallet. The sure sign of a ready to jump explorer.......
Now, when you put your Explore Oz card in your wallet, DON’T put it into it’s own little pocket, just place it in loose. This way when you next go to K Mart and you flip open your wallet, it will fall onto the counter, hopefully face up. this will undoubtedly impress the sales assistant to no end, plus you’ve got all this strange money..... all the hallmarks of a rugged world traveller.
Leaving the checkout, knowing full
well you’ve done the whole impress bit on the sales assistant & customers lined up behind you, you suddenly hear.......
“Mr Bee.......” You turn around and the pimply faced 17 y/o lad behind the checkout is holding your card up for all to see...........
“....you’ve forgotten your library card sir...........”