Just got this Email this morn from a mate and thought some of you could appreciate it.
This mate has just sent 4 weeks in
Brisbane on a job and it seems he is a little bit agrivated by QLDers and their driving skills. Poor buger sounds like he needs a holiday/thearopy now. Enjoy!
Drive like a Queenslander in 9 easy steps
1/ Pay no attention to whitch lane you should be in. Doing 90Km/h in the outside lane on the freeway is your god given right.
2/ Do not accelerate to merg (Merg?) Simply slow down and move rapidly across the lane. Indicate only if you fell like it! Everyone will conveniantly bunch up behind you.
3/ Never let anyone in. If their lane is running out, be a prick and close
the gap! letting anyone in front of you just demonstrates your less of a man.
4/Tailgating is fun! It breaks up the monotomy on long trips and you only requires as little as one other car.
5/ Never stop at stop signs! slow down,
check and roll through.
However......always stop completley and pause for a minimum of 10 seconds at give-way signs.(It takes a fair-dinkum Qld'r 15 seconds to read the words "Give way" in any case)
6/ Speed up around dangerouse road works, otherwise the council workers don't get their danger allowance.
7/Indicate only when you merg or turn, not before! Indicating only gives your road using adversateries the opertunity to stop you changing into their lane. Screw that!
8/ If your going to pull out infront of someone (and up there you should) always get out there real quick and then slow down otherwise they wont be fully aware that you just screwed them. Then drive at least 10 kays under the speed limit (This is when I would apply rule 4 and the only time I would do so)
9/ Creep forward at trafic lights. It might force the odd pedetrian into on coming traffic but QLDers seem to be under the impresion that lights just simply don't change if you wait paitiently.
Don't want ofend any of you Banana benders. All in good fun.........right?