Nothin' to do with 4BY's....

Submitted: Monday, May 24, 2004 at 13:54
ThreadID: 13115 Views:1613 Replies:6 FollowUps:7
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Just got this Email this morn from a mate and thought some of you could appreciate it.
This mate has just sent 4 weeks in Brisbane on a job and it seems he is a little bit agrivated by QLDers and their driving skills. Poor buger sounds like he needs a holiday/thearopy now. Enjoy!

Drive like a Queenslander in 9 easy steps

1/ Pay no attention to whitch lane you should be in. Doing 90Km/h in the outside lane on the freeway is your god given right.

2/ Do not accelerate to merg (Merg?) Simply slow down and move rapidly across the lane. Indicate only if you fell like it! Everyone will conveniantly bunch up behind you.

3/ Never let anyone in. If their lane is running out, be a prick and close the gap! letting anyone in front of you just demonstrates your less of a man.

4/Tailgating is fun! It breaks up the monotomy on long trips and you only requires as little as one other car.

5/ Never stop at stop signs! slow down, check and roll through.
However......always stop completley and pause for a minimum of 10 seconds at give-way signs.(It takes a fair-dinkum Qld'r 15 seconds to read the words "Give way" in any case)

6/ Speed up around dangerouse road works, otherwise the council workers don't get their danger allowance.

7/Indicate only when you merg or turn, not before! Indicating only gives your road using adversateries the opertunity to stop you changing into their lane. Screw that!

8/ If your going to pull out infront of someone (and up there you should) always get out there real quick and then slow down otherwise they wont be fully aware that you just screwed them. Then drive at least 10 kays under the speed limit (This is when I would apply rule 4 and the only time I would do so)

9/ Creep forward at trafic lights. It might force the odd pedetrian into on coming traffic but QLDers seem to be under the impresion that lights just simply don't change if you wait paitiently.

Don't want ofend any of you Banana benders. All in good fun.........right?

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Reply By: Rob! - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 14:38

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 14:38
Alex,

After living in Queensland for the past twenty years, I must say I agree 100%.

For all those Queenslanders who tried to read this post but had problems with some of the new words , I have provided a translation below.

agrivated = aggravated
Km/h = km/h ( K is a measure of temperature )
merg = merge
fell = feel
monotomy = monotony
“It breaks up the monotomy on long trips and you only requires as little as one other car” ???? (sorry can’t help you there)
……. = ,
dangerouse = dangerous
adversateries = adversaries
opertunity = opportunity
infront = in front
wont = won’t
ofend = offend
your and you’re have two different meanings

Oh well, I guess nobody is perfect.

R.

AnswerID: 59903

Follow Up By: Alex Callaghan - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 14:52

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 14:52
“It breaks up the monotomy on long trips and you only requires as little as one other car” = It breaks up the monotony on long trips and requires as little as one other car.

Ya spell a few words wrong and I can tell ya.........life goes on.

Just shows how bad my spelling is cause I didn't pick up on half of those mistakes when I read it. Just copy n paste.
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FollowupID: 321507

Follow Up By: mid life - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:41

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:41
Yes well I suppose English has always been a bit difficult for you southerners to comprehend. Up here we drive on the L-E-F-T H-A-N-D side of the road.
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Follow Up By: Rob! - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:50

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:50
Alex,
I'd just blame the new technology and the fact that language is never static. Recently, my sister in law (grade 9) had problems with her English essay because she used things like LOL etc. Ahh, the kids today.

Did you haer abuot tihs one; as lnog as the frist and lsat lettres of the wrod are crroect the rset can be all mesesd up and you can sitll raed and unedrtsnad it.

;)

R.
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FollowupID: 321513

Follow Up By: Member - Roachie (SA) - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 16:02

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 16:02
Rob,
I agree with you about the spelling. However, whenever I get picked up for having spelt something incorrectly, I always remember what one of my bosses (who was a bloody shocker at spelling) used to say....."if you can only spell a word one way, it shows you are narrow-minded & have no imagination".
I also agree with what me ol' mate Des Lexic says too; Adelaide drivers are also shockers. In fact I reckon ALL cities have there fair share of drivers who got their licence/s by snipping them off the back of Corn Flakes packets (EO members and visitors excepted of course).
Cheers,
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FollowupID: 321514

Reply By: Des Lexic - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 14:40

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 14:40
Alex, Why pick on Qld's. Drive around in Adelaide for a few days and the others will seem to have good driving places.
Sydney is a great place to drive around in, sorry can't pass judgement on the Melbournians. Haven't driven around there for years although the turn right from the left lane took some working out but it worked fine.
AnswerID: 59904

Follow Up By: Baz (NSW) - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:37

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:37
Melbourne is like Sydney only wider roads and the maniacs drive a little bit faster.

Baz.
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Reply By: Time - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:59

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 15:59
I live in Canberra and drive on the expressways to and from work. Invariably the car in the right hand lane slowing down everyone else (because they have a God given right to drive 10 ks under the limit) will be a banana bender. Even happens late at night when there is nothing in sight for ks, but they must still drive in the right hand lane. The BIG bullbar on my Urban assault vehicle is no use when it comes to trying to intimidate them, the buggers don't use there rear view morrors either!!

Cheers

Buggerlux

AnswerID: 59910

Reply By: Member - Allan Mac (VIC) - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 17:11

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 17:11
Two of the most important things Qld'ers and S Aust's learn from day one ..You MUST give way if you are in the middle of a roundabout regardless of what and where the other traffic is coming from. Oh and another Adeladedian teaching.. If you travel more than 12 mins in the city of Adelaide you have travelled to far so therefore dont go!!
AnswerID: 59929

Reply By: Willem - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 18:08

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 18:08
Maybe your mate is just as bad a driver as everybody else
AnswerID: 59936

Follow Up By: Alex Callaghan - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 18:49

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 18:49
Dunno? Never been in the car with him.

Mabey lighten up a bit Willem? Go get a coldie or six round ya laughfen gear mate!
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Follow Up By: Willem - Monday, May 24, 2004 at 19:04

Monday, May 24, 2004 at 19:04
Too bloody cold here for s coldie...might try a Muscat, eh?
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FollowupID: 321559

Reply By: cookie - Tuesday, May 25, 2004 at 12:52

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 at 12:52
The worst drivers in QLD are all the Mexicans from south of the border :-)
AnswerID: 60059

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