Aussie Sayings

Thread 92340 is a pearler.................. thanks

A blind man'd be proud of it = good job, well made, especially if improvised.

Must of missed the original post. Great reading.

So I'll be "Off like a brides nightie"

Agree - Thread 92340 is an absolute gem. I have heard most of those quotes in my lifetime - many from my father.
One time, I was working overseas with another engineer, and we went to a meeting with the client. My associate engineer was a man of very fixed ways and insisted that his part of the project should be done HIS way. The Client wanted it done another way. The Client's team who were trying to get their point across came down to me asking in the local language why didn't HE give them what they wanted? I had to explain to them that he was very experienced and that he had their best interests at heart. One of the Client's engineers then left the room. Shortly after, our local manager arrived and asked politely to speak with my associate engineer. I could hear him outside the room getting strongly dressed down.

When he returned to the meeting, he smiled politely and said "May your Chicken eggs hatch into Emus and kick your Dunny Door down". I spoke the local language, he didn't, so the Client's engineers (who spoke good English) asked me in their local language what he meant. Believe me, it was hard to keep a straight face in this sitation. I had to reply to the Client's people that was a meaningless idiom like 'Mai Pen Rai' (Thai), or Tidak Apa Apa (Indonesian), neither of which had any meaning when translated into English. Basically they meant that it didn't really matter any more. Not sure that my explanation was really believed because it was so hard to keep a straight face.

In's and out's of a duck's arse.
Gone like a fart in a fan factory.
"Straight eight" damper. (Long, thin slices, referring to old straight 8 engines)
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
If brains were gelignite, he wouldn't have enough to blow the wax out of his ears.
Lower than a snake's duodenum. (Think Tammy Fraser used this expression once?)
Freeze balls off a brass monkey.
Fitter than a buck rat.
Duck's guts, Pup's pizzle, Bee's knees. Used when something's bonza, good, etc.
Got the brains of a p!ss ant.
Double G's. (Horses)
Jam Roll. (Foal)
Push 'n Pull. (Bull)
P!ss Tank. (Cow)
Babbling Brook, Greasy Look. Pot Jostler. Bait Layer (Cook)
Bob

Yehh I knew an old bloke that could talk for hours without using common English
He reckoned his bro had a smile like a twisted sandshoe and a body like a kicked in ( metal ) rubbish tin and was as useful as tits on a chook. 'n that was his good bits.

Some of his better ones ..
Dressed up like a pox doctors clerk ( flashy)
As shifty as a rat with a gold tooth ( car salesman )
She's had more pricks than a second hand dart board ( self explanatory )
As useful as a dead dogs donger ..... ?
Crocodile tears ( false sympathy )
Lizard on the road ... highway pizza

Plenty of others but the minds gone walkabout for a while.

Wow love it! So got any good ones for "faster than a...."?

A few dog sayings:
As black as a dog's guts
As busy as a dog with two dicks
A face like a robbers dog
And the many expressions used by Sir Les in the mighty book "the Travellers Tool":
http://sirlespatterson.com/publications/the-travellers-tool/
http://sirlespatterson.com/glossary/

These may have been in the other thread, but ;

A sandwich short of a picnic
A penny short of a pound
Kangaroos in the top paddock

- all meaning a little bit daft or odd

Dry as a dead dog's dinga

This is no place for political correctness, so my Dad's favourite...'

As popular as a pork chop in a synagogue (or mosque, perhaps)

Budgie smugglers - speedo bathers
double pluggers - thongs
bleep as a gnewt
snag short of a barbi - thick as a brick , not to bright
Blue or bluey for a ginger headed person
Ranger for another ginger nut

Slow Greyhound/ Race Horse---couldn't run out of sight on a dark night

greenant

When asked how one was - "Fit as a mallee bull, and twice as dangerous".

Disorganised operation - "They couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery even if they brought their own glasses!".

Tightwad - "Makes a mackerals arse looking like a gaping hole".

Thick person - "Thick as two short planks".

Someone who is not right in the head - "A couple of 'roos short in the top paddock!".

Pouring scorn on someones driving skills - "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dogs arse".

Fast car or prompt movement - "Went like s... off a shiny shovel".

A bald, dumb bloke often got nicknamed "Mudguard" - "S... underneath, shiny on top"

Useless item or bloke - "Useless as a Nun's C..."

Cold day or morning - "Cold as a Mother-in-Laws stare".

Bulls.... - "Blow it out ya arse".

Useless item or bloke - "Useless as a hip pocket on a singlet". "Useless as tits on a bull".

Great engine power - "Pulls like a 14 yr old with his 1st (copy of) Playboy".

Weak engine power - "Wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding!".

Someone not blessed with good looks - "A head like a robbers dog".

Bad luck in the extreme - "If it was raining c...s, I'd get hit with an a...hole!".

Utterly useless bloke - "Couldn't get a root in a brothel, even if he had a $100 note".

Excellent sucking power of an industrial vacuum cleaner - "Sucks like a $2 whore".

Very slippery road or slippery item - "Slicker than greased cat s..."

Low act - "Lower than a snakes guts".

Comment about a Neanderthal-looking, bikie type - "He'd be alright if he shaved more often and lifted his knuckles off the ground".

When something falls perfectly into place, or it works perfectly after repair - "More arse than class!"

Pure cunning - "Cunning as a s...house rat".

Flashy dress - "Flash as a rat with a gold tooth".

Advice about keeping expensive, regularly-stolen items, hidden - "What the eye don't see, the heart don't grieve about".

Old man's common saying when frustrated (he never swore, unlike all his sons!) - "God love a Duck!". (I have no idea where that saying originated).

Cheers, Ron.

Gooday,
A couple more for you-:
As useless as an Ashtray on a Motorbike
Wind was strong enough to Blow aDog of it's Chain
Bald headed Male, Chromedome
Cheers,
Boroma604.

Interesting how many of we baby boomers refer to our Dad's expressions. WW2 no doubt played a big part in that. Two of my favourites from Dad.
Dry? Dry? That paddock is so dry a bandicoot would have to pack a picnic lunch just to get across it.
Local to Melbourne residents - I'm in more sh%^ than a Werribee duck - Werribee is where all Melbourne's sewage is treated.

Ken

Some good belly-laughs here and in the other thread.

Heard of "kangarooing the dyke"?

And for exemplary use of an expletive, this is sposed to relate to infantry training in WWI:

Get a bloody move on,
Have some bloody sense.
Learn the bloody art
of self de-bloody-fence.

That was the chorus. By CJ Dennis. The rest and more here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/AustralianSlang

As useful as a goanna in a Chook yard!

Just recalled a few more ...

Uselessness - "As useless as a one-legged sailor in an arse-kicking contest".

When the beans or cabbage or onion is making their presence felt - "Farting like a corn-fed horse".

When its properly stuck - "Stuck like s... to a blanket".

Darkness - "Dark as the inside of a dogs guts at midnight" (often "dog" was substituted with a nickname for a dark-skinned person!)

Busy - "As busy as a one-armed paper-hanger in a high wind".

Dumb - "Wouldn't know s... from clay".

The local boofhead - "Sharp as a wooden mallet".

Also - "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer".

Someone who is a bit nuts - "Not the full quid". (now, I'm really going waaay back!)

The above saying isn't one I've heard for a while, but up until maybe 10-20 yrs ago, it was in common use amongst older people who were brought up with pounds shillings and pence.

Cheers, Ron.

Thanks Michelle a good one.

A story: Being that I tend not to use all the latter day city and trendy language I was known at work to use mate and a lot of others quite a lot. It was my country upbringing I think. Or rebelling against "city trendies". Anyway read on.

I was up at Oakey Air Base back in about 1990 working with a bunch of USA Army technicians on a "listening" kit that our Army had bought from their Marines. Jokes went back and forth and as I was the sole Australian on the job, so I copped a bit. All in fun though.

So one day in town for lunch in the take away shop, I asked for the bloke behind the counter for "a couple of dogs eyes and a bit of dead horse on both". He got the idea straight away. He went out the back and came back with two pies and sauce in a closed brown bag and said, "The buggers blind now. Enjoy".

I paid and proceeded to fold the bag back a smidgin, then pushed my face in, took a bite and came out munching happily.

Mate, it was worth al the quids in the bank. The looks ranged to a wide open mouth to disgust as I happily munched on the "eyes", while internally coming apart. That is until we couldn't hold it any longer and burst out laughing. It was worth all the tea in china.

Phil

I have a book somewhere around the house called "Lilly on a Dustbin" which is a study of oz sayings. It's where I first came across "Flash as a Rat with a Gold Toothy".

My mother used to talk about the yanks during WW2 in Brisbane.
They used to say the Septic Tanks were -
OVER PAID
OVER SEXED
worst of all
OVER HERE!!!

Bryce Courtenay, with a dialogue illustrating the multiple meanings of 'root'.

Jacko (Aussie): Mate, we're stuffed. Rooted.
Jimmy (African American): Rooted?
Jacko: It means we're f##ked, up bleep creek... it's Australian.
Jimmy: Rooted! Hey, dat's good, man! I'm rooted.
Jacko: No, that's not the same thing. When you say "I'm rooted" it means you're tired. "We're rooted" means we're stuffed, finished, washed up. "Get rooted" means piss off, beat it, scram. "I've been rooted" means I've been cheated or badly done by. "I rooted her" means I had sex with a woman.
Jimmy: Whoa, man, dat Aus-tray-lee-an a mighty strange language for sure!

Source

As happy as.............. A dog with two d..ks

Grinnin` like a goat in an orchard.


How do ya keep the flies out of the kitchen ?. Ya put a bucket of bleep in the lounge.


Scrubby.

Dry as a nun's c......... cockies discussing lack of rain.

After reading through the above, I'm now inclined to drag out my old copy of "We're a Weird Mob" with Nino Calotte and watch it again.
The classic line of "it's your shout but I no want to shout" cracks me up every time I watch it.