helo Everbody it is me agane yoar old freand 14 againe and hear is a letter
i hafe had from sombody who -lick maney of us - is verey worried about
somthink lots of us worry about and that is of Corrs blowing off in Chuch
....
In a message to the14thdisciple fartymeldman@yahoo.com wrote: "Dear 14, can
you help me with my flatulence? I'm afraid to visit church in case I rip
off a fart during the sermon. Will I be forgiven for causing an offensive
smell in the pews? Farty Meldman
whell Falty, maney Peaple will tell you that braking wind is an unholey
thing to do but this Is a big Misconseptsian. It is OK becasue the God in
his infidel Wishdom has GIVVEN peaple the ability to noisily break wind and
he doth not mindeth hat all if you fart ! (no i Am NOT ashamed of saying the
word 'fart' becasue it is only a term of reference witch, in itself, does
not smell).
rioutousness Shelt dwell within the intestines of thoase thus blessed, Tarty
and He Shelt glory in our Divine Aromas, but god Is selective in who he
gives this ability to so it is Surely a sin to deny this atribbute if you
find it within yourself.
thear are Maney, maney ways of discribing this Holey Bodiley Action (or HBA)
some of witch are quite amuzing. god Does not Mindeth this and somtimes
chuckles away at the thease names hisself ! why, who would Not find mirth
in 'botty couff', 'flap-splatter' and 'thrape'?
REmemberer, a Fart is like a litle prayer thanking god For your dinner and
the digestive capabilerteas witch make eating it worth while and maney races
Place specsial significants on thoase who pass gas in the Name of god .
but it has Not alwaize been that way. the Frensh for istance have Saint
June of Arc who was ordered to be burnt at the staike for her herracey. in
A dareing atempt at excape and using Her god-given power of fart she caused
the inflammable materials her atackers intended to use to SPONTANIUSLY
COMBUST thereby thwarting there plan to destroy her. Sadley she was kiled
in the proces of saving herselve as the flames traveled unnpredictabuly
back on the path of her anal expulsion causing her bottom to ignite.
since that Day women all Over franse celebrait St. Junes day by drinking
some petrol and standing near men who smoke.
it Is a emotive subjet, bound to create strong fealings whenever it arises,
but moddern christineanity has slowley begun to embraice those who are
aromaticaly blessed and you should Not miss the oportunity to gain
popularity amongst your felow congregationalists. take Every chance you can
to praise the Loard in your own, special way and do Not be afraide to curl
one off half way throu the Littany. demonstrait your apreciashian of Salm
23 by adding anal punctuatian to the 'amens' or show The priest you are
Still awaike by making a loud proclamaishian in the confesional. to Make
sure the Holey Trickentry knows it is YOU thats done it make Sure to shout
out 'Jeasus will you smell THAT !' or 'O God is that a rietious stinker !'
wheneaver you do one.
but I am sorry i Can NOT talk to Hugh no moar as i Have to
Puncture some
colostomy bags so as Thoase Who no longer hafe bottom hoales can blow off
too.
loaf Form 14
Little Boxes Nursing
Home
"Caring for the wants and needs of the needy and the wanty"