URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED for excessive flatulence.

Can't wait, this'll be good!

Matey,
Seriously i am lost for words.
Cheers
Bros

Phew ... what a problem! You could try using a spare cork/stopper from an old thermos or vacuum flask ... just don't let the pressure build up for too long.
Bernard

Ring ARB and ask about their recovery kit, could be something in it for your problem.

when the flatulance starts find some one to hold there hand over your mouth with one hand and with the other hand hold your nose closed untill the flatulance stops.
it may take a few minutes but be patient 100% guatrenteed to work.

if its that bad pipe it to your carby should be good for a few more mile per gallon

Simple fix - insert end of 8ft 'breather extension' tubing and route other end to tip of areal. you may actually be able to splice it onto existing breathers.

Charcoal tabs seem to work OK, but beware of side effects (black bombs).

Athol

Mate,

Look at the positive side.

If you have an exhaust jack and you get stuck you won't have to run the engine to infate it.

Cheers

Back in my school days we had FART JAR in our chemistry class. Basicaly it was glass jar with a piece of cloth over the with a rubber band that held it in place.

If anyone was "ready" they would "charge" the jar. After a few "charges" the jar was opened upon some unsuspecting soul, (who would then cop the blame).

Otherwise, with some fance tubing maybe you can use it for your air lockers and to pump up the tyres.

Pilot light?

I'd say its all to do with your diet. When you say you eating more healthily does that include more veges and nuts?

Otherwise, sit on a pillow to muffle the sound and odour. Don't forget to air it :-)

Buy a ciggie lighter and keep it burning - sort of like a pilot light. Anyone asks just tell them the heater is not working ...
Sorry, only trying to help. In our vehicle you can win awards for outstadning efforts covering noise, odour, tunes attempted etc etc .. . Sure beats "I Spy".
Jack

Connect it to a set of polyairs !
Shane

Mate, just grin and be proud, thats what i do! hehehehe

Cheer's Paul

Holy Toledo ,,Where is Willem when you need him ...another crapy post.or is that pre crapy post ?

220 hits on a fart post, this one should beat Ruth's flag in the desert one hahahahah

Now to the reply. Eating the right thing reduces the breakdown of food in the large intestine leading to less flatulance and of course less farts. There is also something to be said for the case of, its better out than in, but I think thats irresponsible expecially in a large area such as the MCG or a large auditorium. Now in a lift, or semi-enclosed space (under a doona for example) this idiom rings true but you have to make it SBD

didnt read every ones' posts...
but if not already advised....
bottle it (or should i say condense it into cylinders) you make a fortune!

I think this post is going to the $hithouse.
Maybe you should try that also before getting in the car.

This has to be the crappyest post of all time.
I tell ya Willem is gunna bebleepwhen he reads this $hit.

Gee, 30 responses so far and only 3 with the faintest attempt at offering me help!
Alas, I shall seek assistance elsewhere....

Schevchenko We have a saying at our club
BETTER TO FART A BIT
AND STINK A BIT.
THAN BUST YOURE GUTS
AND BE A CRIPPLE!

Could be worse .... you don't want to be following through, do ya!

Charcoal tablets do work.

You should be taking a break after 2 hours in the seat anyway, so let it rip outside the vehicle.

Blame it on the roadkill and rest easy - humor has to be the best cure when nothing else works - just spent the holidays travelling with the kids - without the dog - Roadkill was pretty ok with the blame

Nick

A FART
A fart is a mechanical eruption it flows from a manicled bum
it passes thru the valley of trousers and comes out a musical hum
a fart is very useful it puts the body at ease it warms the bed in winter
and chloroforms the fleas.
eerfree

What ever you do...............DONT hold your farts in, cause they travel up your spine and into your brain and thats where all the $hitty ideas come from..........................................................

Degas tablets from the chemist work.............my hubby buys them for me by the truckload...................lol

Karen

"Better an empty house than a bad tenant"

Jack

I tried to read through Andrew's diatribe but it was a bit heavy for me. You don't need a cure. All you need to do is when you feel the urge coming, let it flow with all the gusto that you can manage and proudly call out "BEAT THAT" In no time, everyone will be trying to out do you and no one will be abusing you for your indescressions.

I wasn't sure if this was a serious post or what with everyone taking the p1ss. Anyway, a serious answer is to eat more yogurt. It contains good bacteria called acidophulus which fights all the bad bacteria in your digestive system.
For a rapid fix you can actually buy acidophulus from health food shops then when the problem slows down go back to just having yogurt daily.
It is quite common with a lifestyle change like you mentioned in your post.
Tim

HERE IS HELP MESSAGES & SOLUTION

Seriously guys - thanks for some of the advice such as acidopholus etc. will give it a go.

You have gotta stop eating that 'road kill', it the worst thing for your problem

Hey. Schevo,, would love to get you over for a BBQ, BUT, i'm kinda busy for the next few years LOL

OK, well ll I can suggest is fill your jocks with SCENTED TALCUM POWDER. They will know you farted by the puffy white cloud but hopefully you will come out of it smelling like roses. ;-)

Sparkie(IE not y) ;-)

Fair dinkum.
what next!

try a colonic irrigation....