URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED for excessive flatulence.

Submitted: Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:38
ThreadID: 14661 Views:7817 Replies:34 FollowUps:26
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This is a painful post to submit, but any hints on flatulence reduction would be much appreciated. My family are ready to disown me! It seems much worse lately maybe because I have increased my excercise levels (also eating more healthily)?? It seems to really start after 2 hours in the driver's seat. I can't really say I have a prob with it, its the back seat drivers who are becomming outraged.
I have heard 'beano' and charcoal may help, but I remain highly suspicious of snake oil products.
any help appreciated.
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Reply By: Mad Dog (Victoria) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:44

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:44
Can't wait, this'll be good!
AnswerID: 67769

Follow Up By: Michael - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 10:05

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 10:05
At least he wont need an onboard compressor now........
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Reply By: Bros - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:45

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:45
Matey,
Seriously i am lost for words.
Cheers
Bros
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AnswerID: 67770

Follow Up By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:54

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:54
Surely I speak for the silent majority here.

PS...I am not talking about passing 'air', more like pure sulphur dioxide.
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:19

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:19
schevchenko,

You have obviously learned nothing.........Catalytic converters can make that smell when they have been poisoned with lead.

BLAME THE CATALYTIC CONVERTER!!!!!!!! (or get yourself a dog!)

(nice way to get yourself a new manifold back 2.5-3" exhaust system with SWMBO's blessing LOL)
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Reply By: Member - Bernard - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:54

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:54
Phew ... what a problem! You could try using a spare cork/stopper from an old thermos or vacuum flask ... just don't let the pressure build up for too long.
Bernard

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Follow Up By: Member - Bernard - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:06

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:06
Sorry ... not a very helpful answer to an inflationery and expanding problem. If you do find a successful answer please let us all know as you're certainly not alone.
Bernard
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Follow Up By: Patrol22 (Queanbeyan - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:12

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:12
Inflation.....probably related to the J curve or something equally sinister - just make sure you keep the windows up so as not to gas the rest of the population or wither the leaves of the trees.
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Follow Up By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:17

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:17
IF I find something that really works I shall definately let you all know.
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Reply By: Mad Dog (Victoria) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:58

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 17:58
Ring ARB and ask about their recovery kit, could be something in it for your problem.
AnswerID: 67775

Reply By: mr diamond - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:02

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:02
when the flatulance starts find some one to hold there hand over your mouth with one hand and with the other hand hold your nose closed untill the flatulance stops.
it may take a few minutes but be patient 100% guatrenteed to work.
AnswerID: 67776

Reply By: REX.....(Adelaide) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:05

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:05
if its that bad pipe it to your carby should be good for a few more mile per gallon
AnswerID: 67778

Reply By: Bjorn - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:06

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:06
Simple fix - insert end of 8ft 'breather extension' tubing and route other end to tip of areal. you may actually be able to splice it onto existing breathers.
AnswerID: 67779

Reply By: Member - Athol (NSW) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:12

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:12
Charcoal tabs seem to work OK, but beware of side effects (black bombs).

Athol
AnswerID: 67781

Follow Up By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:19

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:19
I don't like the sound of black bombs (involuntary?). why replace one problem with another?
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Follow Up By: Bjorn - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:07

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:07
Is this the same as "hitting mud" ?
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Follow Up By: Bjorn - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:10

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:10
If so, this has only happened to me twice. Once after a really big night out (beer fart), and the other when I was trying to 'out fart' someone.
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Reply By: Member - Brian B (QLD) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:58

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 18:58
Mate,

Look at the positive side.

If you have an exhaust jack and you get stuck you won't have to run the engine to infate it.

Cheers
AnswerID: 67786

Reply By: Rob! - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:03

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:03
Back in my school days we had FART JAR in our chemistry class. Basicaly it was glass jar with a piece of cloth over the with a rubber band that held it in place.

If anyone was "ready" they would "charge" the jar. After a few "charges" the jar was opened upon some unsuspecting soul, (who would then cop the blame).

Otherwise, with some fance tubing maybe you can use it for your air lockers and to pump up the tyres.
AnswerID: 67787

Reply By: V8Diesel - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:12

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:12
Pilot light?
AnswerID: 67788

Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:44

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:44
....more like afterburner!
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Reply By: Lyds - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:13

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:13
I'd say its all to do with your diet. When you say you eating more healthily does that include more veges and nuts?

Otherwise, sit on a pillow to muffle the sound and odour. Don't forget to air it :-)

AnswerID: 67789

Follow Up By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:19

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:19
Generally more carbohydrates now. thanks for the pillow idea.

I must admit that the occasional highway emergency KFC stop does this problem no favours.
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Follow Up By: Peter O - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 00:55

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 00:55
Especially if 'Hot And Spicy' is available
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Reply By: Member - Jack - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:26

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:26
Buy a ciggie lighter and keep it burning - sort of like a pilot light. Anyone asks just tell them the heater is not working ...
Sorry, only trying to help. In our vehicle you can win awards for outstadning efforts covering noise, odour, tunes attempted etc etc .. . Sure beats "I Spy".
Jack
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Follow Up By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:31

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:31
locking the windows post fart can be an effective punishment for the kiddies too.
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:47

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:47
Rent yourself out as a pest exterminator. Cockroaches may be able to withstand the worst conditions on earth, and the fallout from a nuclear bomb, but I doubt they will survive your flatulance........
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Reply By: vuduguru - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:28

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:28
Connect it to a set of polyairs !
Shane
AnswerID: 67794

Reply By: paul2.8d - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:38

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 19:38
Mate, just grin and be proud, thats what i do! hehehehe

Cheer's Paul
AnswerID: 67797

Reply By: Allan Mac (VIC) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 20:24

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 20:24
Holy Toledo ,,Where is Willem when you need him ...another crapy post.or is that pre crapy post ?
AnswerID: 67803

Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:48

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:48
No, a "crappy post" would be the "follow through".
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Reply By: Bonz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:14

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:14
220 hits on a fart post, this one should beat Ruth's flag in the desert one hahahahah

Now to the reply. Eating the right thing reduces the breakdown of food in the large intestine leading to less flatulance and of course less farts. There is also something to be said for the case of, its better out than in, but I think thats irresponsible expecially in a large area such as the MCG or a large auditorium. Now in a lift, or semi-enclosed space (under a doona for example) this idiom rings true but you have to make it SBD
.
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Follow Up By: Mad Dog (Victoria) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:51

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:51
Geoff, schevchenko is bound to get a lot of hits. Everytime he posts something there's a bit of a stink.
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Reply By: Nudenut - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:22

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:22
didnt read every ones' posts...
but if not already advised....
bottle it (or should i say condense it into cylinders) you make a fortune!
AnswerID: 67818

Reply By: Member - John (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:33

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:33
I think this post is going to the $hithouse.
Maybe you should try that also before getting in the car.

This has to be the crappyest post of all time.
I tell ya Willem is gunna bebleepwhen he reads this $hit.
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Follow Up By: Member - John (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:35

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:35
I don't beleive it I got bleeped for saying Pi$$ed.
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Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:08

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:08
I cant believe you got pi$$ed for getting bleeped.
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Follow Up By: Member - NewMan (VIC) - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 18:07

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 18:07
John

What no diving equipment on your rig?

Tony
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Reply By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:51

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 21:51
Gee, 30 responses so far and only 3 with the faintest attempt at offering me help!
Alas, I shall seek assistance elsewhere....
AnswerID: 67827

Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:09

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:09
Maaate, we're being nice here, elsewhere may not be so kind
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Follow Up By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:20

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:20
pull my finger bonz ;-)
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Reply By: Member - Gerk Yorke Pen (SA) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:03

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:03
Schevchenko We have a saying at our club
BETTER TO FART A BIT
AND STINK A BIT.
THAN BUST YOURE GUTS
AND BE A CRIPPLE!
AnswerID: 67830

Follow Up By: schevchenko - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:12

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:12
Thanks for that moral support.
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Reply By: Savvas - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:05

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:05
Could be worse .... you don't want to be following through, do ya!

Charcoal tablets do work.

You should be taking a break after 2 hours in the seat anyway, so let it rip outside the vehicle.
AnswerID: 67831

Reply By: flashnick - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:28

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:28
Blame it on the roadkill and rest easy - humor has to be the best cure when nothing else works - just spent the holidays travelling with the kids - without the dog - Roadkill was pretty ok with the blame

Nick
AnswerID: 67838

Reply By: eerfree - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:31

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:31
A FART
A fart is a mechanical eruption it flows from a manicled bum
it passes thru the valley of trousers and comes out a musical hum
a fart is very useful it puts the body at ease it warms the bed in winter
and chloroforms the fleas.
eerfree
AnswerID: 67839

Reply By: Member - Geoff & Karen - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:35

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:35
What ever you do...............DONT hold your farts in, cause they travel up your spine and into your brain and thats where all the $hitty ideas come from..........................................................

Degas tablets from the chemist work.............my hubby buys them for me by the truckload...................lol

Karen
AnswerID: 67840

Follow Up By: Big Kidz (Andrew & Jen) - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:38

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:38
I have actually recommended this site to Karen before but she didnt have the chance to look at it before catching fire.
Fartalot
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Follow Up By: Member - Bernard - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 11:35

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 11:35
Looking at the "Fartalot" link makes you realise that the Greenies and environmentalists wouldn't let God design the human body today!
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Follow Up By: Member - Geoff & Karen - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 12:37

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 12:37
Andrew, you crack me up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Karen
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Reply By: Member - Jack - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:52

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 22:52
"Better an empty house than a bad tenant"

Jack
The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get. (Lewis Carroll-Alice In Wonderland)

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AnswerID: 67845

Reply By: Des Lexic - Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:10

Wednesday, Jul 14, 2004 at 23:10
I tried to read through Andrew's diatribe but it was a bit heavy for me. You don't need a cure. All you need to do is when you feel the urge coming, let it flow with all the gusto that you can manage and proudly call out "BEAT THAT" In no time, everyone will be trying to out do you and no one will be abusing you for your indescressions.
AnswerID: 67847

Reply By: Tim - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 00:45

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 00:45
I wasn't sure if this was a serious post or what with everyone taking the p1ss. Anyway, a serious answer is to eat more yogurt. It contains good bacteria called acidophulus which fights all the bad bacteria in your digestive system.
For a rapid fix you can actually buy acidophulus from health food shops then when the problem slows down go back to just having yogurt daily.
It is quite common with a lifestyle change like you mentioned in your post.
Tim
AnswerID: 67853

Reply By: Troopy Travellers (NSW) - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 07:54

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 07:54
HERE IS HELP MESSAGES & SOLUTION
AnswerID: 67856

Follow Up By: Member - Bernard - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 11:32

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 11:32
Flat-D??? Only in America!!! The product sounds a bit gruesome. Interesting to see that they produce canine flatulence products ... the "Doggy Diaper" or "Doggy Thong" could be just the thing for the fashion conscious or fitting to the anklebiters.
Bernard
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Reply By: schevchenko - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 08:34

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 08:34
Seriously guys - thanks for some of the advice such as acidopholus etc. will give it a go.
AnswerID: 67861

Reply By: Michael - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 10:07

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 10:07
You have gotta stop eating that 'road kill', it the worst thing for your problem
AnswerID: 67874

Reply By: Michael - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 10:10

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 10:10
Hey. Schevo,, would love to get you over for a BBQ, BUT, i'm kinda busy for the next few years LOL
AnswerID: 67875

Reply By: Member - Sparkie (QLD) - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 19:34

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 19:34
OK, well ll I can suggest is fill your jocks with SCENTED TALCUM POWDER. They will know you farted by the puffy white cloud but hopefully you will come out of it smelling like roses. ;-)

Sparkie(IE not y) ;-)
AnswerID: 67936

Reply By: Member - John C (QLD) - Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 21:02

Thursday, Jul 15, 2004 at 21:02
Fair dinkum.
what next!

try a colonic irrigation....
AnswerID: 67973

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