Phriday naughties

Submitted: Friday, Nov 26, 2004 at 19:38
ThreadID: 18111 Views:2512 Replies:5 FollowUps:3
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What do you call a Nun in a black wet suit?......................................
Not sure...thats why I asked. But I do have something else to share...

Recently a "Husband Shopping Centre" opened in Aberdeen, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; If you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands... First floor: The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, Well that's better than not having a job, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." Hmmm, said the ladies. But, I wonder what's further up?

Third floor This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow! Said the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they went.

Fourth floor This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f*cking impossible to please."

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Reply By: bbuzz - Friday, Nov 26, 2004 at 21:05

Friday, Nov 26, 2004 at 21:05
This guy is the one who married Miss Right. Later he found out her first name was Always!

All in the Family
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes
up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Nope. Sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
AnswerID: 86071

Follow Up By: Bjorn - Friday, Nov 26, 2004 at 21:19

Friday, Nov 26, 2004 at 21:19
that is anawful joke. lol
0
FollowupID: 344673

Follow Up By: Schevchenko - Friday, Nov 26, 2004 at 23:41

Friday, Nov 26, 2004 at 23:41
quite evil actually. LOL
0
FollowupID: 344709

Reply By: ianmc - Saturday, Nov 27, 2004 at 13:22

Saturday, Nov 27, 2004 at 13:22
Man was walking around in a cemetary. He noticed another man on his knees beside a grave with tears in his eyes.
He wandered over & asked the man if he was OK?
Other replied:" Why oh why did my wifes first husband ever have to die?"
AnswerID: 86126

Reply By: reelmick - Sunday, Nov 28, 2004 at 08:25

Sunday, Nov 28, 2004 at 08:25
What do you call a nun on a penny farthing?

Virgin on the rediculous
AnswerID: 86190

Reply By: Nudenut - Sunday, Nov 28, 2004 at 10:15

Sunday, Nov 28, 2004 at 10:15
His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?"

"That's easy", he says, "He's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a
male or female horse.

"A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth.
Can I thee her eyeth"?

So the guy picks up the midgetand he gives the horse's eyes the once
over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up
again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?

The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks
him upagain and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her
twat"?

Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms
and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him
out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should
rephwase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?
AnswerID: 86196

Follow Up By: Schevchenko - Sunday, Nov 28, 2004 at 15:07

Sunday, Nov 28, 2004 at 15:07
thats very un PC...and i like it!
0
FollowupID: 344868

Reply By: tonysmc - Tuesday, Nov 30, 2004 at 11:42

Tuesday, Nov 30, 2004 at 11:42
I would call the nun "sister"
AnswerID: 86535

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