I don't normally do this.....

Submitted: Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 16:54
ThreadID: 22516 Views:1530 Replies:5 FollowUps:3
This Thread has been Archived
... but I think this is clever.

Subject: Euro English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will
be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5
year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour
of
the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
to
ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor
trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze
drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!

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Reply By: Gajm (VIC) - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:17

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:17
I copied and pasted that into "word" for the missus to use at school, and word had a field day with it...more squiggly red lines than you could poke a stick at.
Have a good trip by the way Wolfie
AnswerID: 108951

Follow Up By: Lone Wolf - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:19

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:19
Fank u veri much.....
0
FollowupID: 365682

Follow Up By: Gajm (VIC) - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:24

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:24
LoL you do make me laugh, I think they should pay you to be a member on here, I don't know if there could be a forum without you Wolfie
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FollowupID: 365685

Reply By: Member - Chrispy (NSW) - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:20

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 17:20
Very god :)
AnswerID: 108953

Reply By: Member - Oskar (Bris) - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 19:12

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 19:12
Thanks for that.
I saw this one about 4 years ago and didn't get a copy. So now I have one. TA!
Will go down well with my Swiss friends.
Oskar
AnswerID: 108971

Reply By: GOB & denny vic member - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 20:45

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 20:45
goodday wolfie
2nd year will be interesting with words like phuket???????????
im not going to put it on here david will get upset

steve
AnswerID: 108992

Reply By: Member - Anni M (SA) - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 22:44

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 22:44
Zank yo wery moch!

Ani (new spelink)
AnswerID: 109015

Follow Up By: Lone Wolf - Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 23:09

Saturday, Apr 30, 2005 at 23:09
I still reckon, spank you smelly crutch is still way better!!!

Wolfie
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FollowupID: 365733

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