late fri funny

Submitted: Friday, May 27, 2005 at 20:15
ThreadID: 23365 Views:1617 Replies:3 FollowUps:2
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A middle aged man bought a brand new Holden Monaro.
> > > He took off down the
> > > >road, pushed it up to 130 kmph, and was enjoying
> > > the wind blowing
> > > >through his(thinning) hair.
> > > >
> > > >"This is great," he thought and accelerated to an
> > > even higher speed.
> > > >
> > > >But then he looked in his rear-view mirror, and
> > > there was a Police Car
> > > >behind him, blue lights flashing. "I can get away
> > > from him with
> > > >No problem" thought the man and he floored it some
> > > more, and flew down
> > > >the road at over 210 kmph to escape being stopped.
> > > >
> > > >Then he thought, "What the hell am I doing? I'm
> > > too old for this kind
> > > >of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road,
> > > and waited for the
> > > >Police car to catch up with him. The Policeman
> > > pulled in behind the
> > > >Monaro and walked up on the driver's side.
> > > >
> > > >"Sir my Shift ends in five minutes and today is
> > > Friday the 13th. If you
> > > >can give me a good reason why you were speeding
> > > that I've never heard
> > > >before, I'll let you go."
> > > >
> > > >The man looked back at the Policeman and said,
> > > "Last week my wife ran
> > > >off with a Policeman, and I thought you were
> > > bringing her
> > > >back."
> > > >
> > > >"Have a nice day sir and drive carefully"
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Reply By: govo - Friday, May 27, 2005 at 20:17

Friday, May 27, 2005 at 20:17
A recent survey was conducted into why men like blow jobs,





10% liked the feeling





12% liked the dominance





AND





78% liked the silence
AnswerID: 113241

Follow Up By: Member - Browny (VIC) - Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 11:13

Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 11:13
LOLolol..................hehe, roflmao!.............Pisher!

Browny
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FollowupID: 369450

Reply By: Member - Wilgadene (QLD) - Friday, May 27, 2005 at 21:29

Friday, May 27, 2005 at 21:29
A married couple went to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the baby's father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10%was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

However, as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch.
AnswerID: 113264

Reply By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 17:00

Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 17:00
The Blind Cashier

A woman goes into Harrods in London to buy a fishing rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.

She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb.Test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44," he says.

"It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed but then realizes there is no way the blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44? How did you get to £58.50?"

He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

AnswerID: 113347

Follow Up By: Michael ( Moss Vale NSW) - Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 23:40

Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 23:40
No more funny ones Gary!!! i just woke the kids up with my laughter... they thought it was a fire drill...
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