late fri funny

A recent survey was conducted into why men like blow jobs,





10% liked the feeling





12% liked the dominance





AND





78% liked the silence

A married couple went to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the baby's father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10%was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

However, as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch.

The Blind Cashier

A woman goes into Harrods in London to buy a fishing rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.

She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

"That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb.Test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44," he says.

"It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed but then realizes there is no way the blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44? How did you get to £58.50?"

He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."