Homework

Dumb Football Players

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"

"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

Speaking Dog Boasting

Several racehorses are in a stable. One of them starts boasting about his track record.

"Of my last 15 races," he says, "I've won eight."

Another horse breaks in, "Well, I"ve won 19 of my last 27!"

"That's good, but I've taken 28 of 36," says another, flicking his tail.

At this point a greyhound who's been sitting nearby pipes up.

"I don't mean to boast," he says, "but of my last 90 races, I've won 88." The horses are clearly amazed.

"Wow," says one after a prolonged silence, "a talking dog!"

The captain was in despair at his side's fielding. Match after match, they dropped every chance that came their way. Finally one day the captain called his men together and told them that he was taking them fishing.
What for? they asked.

'To make sure you catch something this season!'