Wifes Directions!!

Submitted: Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:03
ThreadID: 31388 Views:2274 Replies:22 FollowUps:15
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Hi
Ever been in a strange city totally lost,? and while driving hand the map over to the wife and stupidly ask," how far to such & such road "? The best answer Ive had was " Half an inch dear". Talk about temperature going up!.

Still Luv her Axle.
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Reply By: arthurking83 - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:17

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:17
Sounds like you've been married long enough NOT to need one of those autorouting Garmin/TomTom/Navman GPS thingys!!!

But maybe you should still seriously consider one.........just for the sake of your sanity!!

My wife couldn't navigate her way through the mile high pile of dishes sitting on HER kitchen bench!! ;)

Lucky for her, I 'navigate' for a living, and get around well enough....without assistance!

:)
AnswerID: 158416

Reply By: Patrolman Pat - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:18

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:18
I refuse to hand over the map. If I see her rotate it upside down when we are travelling south one more time I swear I'll do something I'll regret.
AnswerID: 158417

Follow Up By: Eric from Cape York Connections - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:13

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:13
If my wife is reading the map I dont care witch way she holds it even up side down as long as we get there.

All the best
Eric
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Reply By: Member - greg S (QLD) - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:20

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:20
Axle,
My wife as much as I love her, can't read a map for $#@t. Maybe I will have to enrol her in a map reading course:0) If I don't memorize the way there before we go, we have to stop and I would have to look at the map. The funniest thing she does is when she does read the map she reads it in the direction we are going( ie she turns the map around anywhere from 90 to 180 deg, determined by which way we turned, either left or right.)
Like I said I love my wife....

Greg S
AnswerID: 158418

Follow Up By: Wayne (NSW) - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:47

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:47
Greg,

When I was in the Scouts many years ago and we had to find where we were, the map would come out and we would have to orientated the map. That is we had to turn the map to face north, that way we could pick up land marks like hills and rivers. From this we could work out where we were.
When travelling, having the map facing north gives you an idea where you are. If you are travelling south the map should face north,ie turned 180deg. If the road that you want is on the left on the map it will be on the left on the road.

There is nothing wrong with turning the map.

Wayne
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Follow Up By: Nick R - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:51

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:51
exactly right wayne, helps if you can read upside down though.
NickR
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Reply By: ats11279 - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:24

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:24
Travelling through Brisbane last year, and was trying to find the correct bridge to cross the Brisbane river, whilst the wife read the map. She replied " there isn't a river on the map!", so i had to point out that the BIG BLUE winding thing across the centre was the river.
AnswerID: 158419

Reply By: Member - Willie , Epping .Syd. - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:28

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:28
Last year with six cars in company in the desert , my wife ran rings around everyone on navigation , so it's not a female thing . And she likes cricket too !

Willie .
AnswerID: 158420

Follow Up By: Member - greg S (QLD) - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:35

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:35
Willie,
I would love my better half to be able to read a map, because it would make my job just a little easier. But she does like watching the V8 Supercars though....

Greg S
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Follow Up By: Eric from Cape York Connections - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:11

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:11
My wife reads a map fine.
But if she makes a mistake im not brave enought to say a thing.
I dont care what way she holds the map upside down if she likes.
As long as we get there

All the best
Eric
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Reply By: The Bigfella - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:55

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 22:55
My wife is the BEST navigator.
Drove thru Kuala Lumpar in Malaysia on a Friday afternoon and my wife never missed a turn. Believe you me driving in Asia is a test of your abilities. Sydney is easy when compared to Asia. Even Cairo in Egypt with 3 million cars on the road is not all that bad, Was there 12 months ago and it is not all that bad.
Have travelled a lot of Australia and believe you me she is the best. I am not trying to score brownie points here at all. She is just bloody good at reading maps.
I have come across many men who wouldn't know left from right.
Cheers
The Bigfella
PS. I found my way to Victoria to spend time with some forumites recently with no trouble:):):):):):):):):):)::
AnswerID: 158428

Follow Up By: arthurking83 - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:18

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:18
Quote: 'The Bigfella'
..........I found my way to Victoria to spend time with............"

You actually found your way through Vic!!

Down here, we have a policy of 'limited sign posting'!.............just to keep people away!!

You will notice though....that there are lots of signs pointing to Adelaide, Sydney, and the ferry to Hobart!!...........can't imagine why? ;-)
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Follow Up By: Axle - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:20

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:20
Good onya Big fella !!, She just stuck her head over my shoulder, to see what I was up to. Chit that hurt!.
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Reply By: techo2oz - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:13

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:13
Ah! the good old days...
Once upon a day I too used to hurl missives at the missus for poor instruction as to what was the next turn. My memory has started to wain so memorising which way is what has also gone by the wayside.

So I invested in one of those fandangled navigation thingos. And can I say, after a lot of research, I have finally come up with something that does not take offense when I yell at it for giving the wrong turn. :-)

In all fairness, I have always made it to the destination, the exception is now I don't have the repercussions of my intolerance..

Peter
AnswerID: 158436

Reply By: Gramps (NSW) - Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:52

Friday, Mar 03, 2006 at 23:52
hahahahaha and I thought SWMBO was the only one with this problem.

When we go the LONG way to any destination now, we just refer to as the 'scenic route'. Stops me getting a cauliflowered left lughole :))))
AnswerID: 158444

Reply By: Gajm (VIC) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 00:32

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 00:32
My missus isn't too bad at reading a map....it's the "turn here" as the road flashes past the side of the car that gives me the sh1ts.
AnswerID: 158450

Reply By: Barnesy - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 03:16

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 03:16
If my Girlfriend makes a mistake reading the map and we make a wrong turn, somehow it always seems to be my fault because I'm the one driving!
Make sense of that.

Barnesy
AnswerID: 158458

Follow Up By: Eric from Cape York Connections - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:21

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:21
Because its only your girl freind.
It all changes when its your wife your always wrong no matter what and you will hear about for the next few years and then reminded again just in case you could have forgotten then the mother inlaw will find out and they even remind you then if you have kids they will be on there mothers side and they will remind you and then the grand kids.
So thts why its your fault.

All the best
Eric
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Follow Up By: Barnesy - Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 02:44

Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 02:44
I understand now Eric.
Thanks for clearing that up for me.
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Reply By: Member - Davoe (Widgiemooltha) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 05:16

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 05:16
At a previos job I Drove for Women who did the navagating and I reckon they would easily leave 90% of people on this forum for dead in the navagation stakes. Using ariel photos to create and drape grids over, studying them with microscopes for features we needed to visit then looking for any tracks no matter how faint and planning the route that would get us to these features estimating best cross country routes depending on vegetation thickness and guiding us around thickest bush to minimise vehicle damage.
They certainly made a mockery of the theory Women cant navagate
AnswerID: 158460

Reply By: Michael ( Moss Vale NSW) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 06:41

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 06:41
Axle!! I agree, How stupid, She could at least used millimetres!! :)
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AnswerID: 158462

Reply By: Mike Harding - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 07:42

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 07:42
All is explained here :)

Why men don't listen and women can't read maps

Mike Harding
AnswerID: 158467

Reply By: Eric from Cape York Connections - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:30

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 08:30
I have one of those in car turn by turn navigation thingy's.

I have a mental picture of the lady that does the talking.

Shes about 23 blond wearing fish net stockings and a very very low cut bra all in black with red trim and small flowers on the straps. with great big blue eyes and her hair has a slight curl in it and just over one shoulder.
Her legs are oh so long and she has an all over tan.
And she always says turn here big guy and if I forget to turn she says dont worry recalculating.

The wife reckons iv got a problem

All the best
Eric
AnswerID: 158471

Follow Up By: Wayne (NSW) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 09:13

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 09:13
Eric,

Gone of the medication again have we.

The person that you are thinking about is computer generated voice. No woman could stay that calm when a bloke makes a wrong turn for the umpteenth time

Wayne
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Follow Up By: Eric from Cape York Connections - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 10:06

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 10:06
No actually iv got the french model.

all the best
Eric
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FollowupID: 412938

Reply By: Rock Crawler - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 09:13

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 09:13
It's amazing , how they cant read a map or Melways for every day travel etc. But tell them that there is a shopping center with a sale on and all of a sudden they seam to get this gift , were they can read a map to get there , but once they shopping is done , they seam to loose this gift and they how do I get home phone call happens .

I now have given hear a vehicle fitted with sat nav. Not long ago , we were at a party and I heard her say , I love the sat nav in my car , I have pre programed all the important places and don't have to worry about remembering how to get there.

Hhhmmm , has my wife taken smart pills ? she now can pre program the sat nav with go to addresses ?

These are the ones i found

Chadstone shopping center
Southland shopping center
Northland Shopping center
Eastland shopping center
Factory outlets direct

AnswerID: 158481

Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 11:29

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 11:29
Absolutely priceless
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Reply By: 120scruiser - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 11:27

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 11:27
All I can say is I am one of the lucky ones. My wife doesn't come with me on trips. She only goes by plane. She is the worst traveller I have ever been with. If we were to sit in the car for longer than an hour I reckon we would be divorced very quickly.
After a day trip to Yengo I turned and said "You are banned" I then turned to our 8 month old baby and said "But you can come with me any time you want"
I have had great trips ever since.
She did scare me recently stating that she wouldn't mind coming camping with me for a relaxing weekend so long as we didn't do any driving. I quickly filled the car with the kids friends.
120scruiser
AnswerID: 158518

Follow Up By: Barnesy - Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 02:55

Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 02:55
My girlfriend falls asleep within half an hour on long drives. Every time without fail. This has good and bad points.
No sorry only good points.
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Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 15:43

Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 15:43
I used to have the same problem with my girlfriend at the drive-in....*sigh*
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Reply By: Mike DiD - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 11:43

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 11:43
One thing I've learnt over the decades is that people are different and there are some things you can't change - so I don't get upset over it any more.

Mike
AnswerID: 158522

Reply By: Geoff M (Newcastle, NSW) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 12:13

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 12:13
My ex-wife can't read a map to save her life neither can our oldest daughter. Youngest one is a champion navigator and map reader.
My mum can read a map so well she tells you the third turn ahead of where the car actually is on the road. Kid yourself it's not hard to drive when you and the car are three turns behind the directions.
My Ex firmly believes if she can't read a map then no one on this earth is capable of reading a map. (Stuffed if I know why she thinks people persist in printing and buying them)
If we where going somewhere new I'd have a look a the map and work out the trip. She'd be up me the whole way about not knowing where I was going, how I was going the wrong way, we'll never get there etc.....

Funny thing, I must be the arsiest bugger alive, I always end up where I wanted to be!

Geoff,
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Reply By: Member - Doug T (QLD) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 12:22

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 12:22
Queenslanders from Brissy will remember the Ad on the Radio from Johnny Appleseed GPS , that was very funny
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AnswerID: 158528

Reply By: Member - Andy Q (VIC) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 13:08

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 13:08
Wow who is this woman!, really, I can't answer this thread.
AnswerID: 158537

Follow Up By: Geoff M (Newcastle, NSW) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 13:24

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 13:24
I think you just did!
Geoff,
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Reply By: Member - Collyn R (WA) - Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 15:07

Saturday, Mar 04, 2006 at 15:07
Patrolman Pat

Toward the end of my years with Kerry Packer's ACP I became involved with the Gregory Maps division. (Also incidentally the Car Manual division - the Pommy branch of which had printed about 50,000 copies of a manual for a car that had a production run of less than 7000!).

Re the maps - I commissioned a survey to establish whether there was any basis in the common belief that most women and some men read a map more easily if the top or sides of the map are oriented in the general direction of travel (ie as opposed to inverting the map).

The survey of some 10,000 men and women showed that over 85% of the women surveyed (and about 25% of the men) preferred that to the traditional 'North at the Top' approach.

We considered printing some maps accordingly, but it was felt that, on balance, the motives would be misunderstood - and we dropped the project. (That was about 1980 from memory).

Were I still to be involved I would certainly consider offering this is an option with computer mapping systems.
Collyn Rivers
AnswerID: 158555

Reply By: stevesub - Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 15:01

Sunday, Mar 05, 2006 at 15:01
My wife is good at reading maps WHEN SHE WANTS TO. If we are in a strange city, she throws the map away and relies on instinct for awhile then gets tha map out again. Only problem, her instinct has turned us 180 degrees.

She will never want to go my way, even if it is the shortest and most logical way (to males anyway).

Lets me know when I have to turn after we have passed an intersection, then tells me off for going too fast, even with a 50ton truck up our arse becuase I am going so slow.

Best of all, she called me on the phone last year when she was lost and said "where am I?" Honest, my reply was you have a map in the truck, use it as I don't have a clue where you are being 50km away.

Stevesub
AnswerID: 158703

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