Totally Useless

Submitted: Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:32
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What is the most useless item you've taken on a trip ? (Personalities aside)
Years ago I took three passengers in a Padj 2.8 diesel up to Cape York. With all of our gear space was really at a premium. One guys wife decided that she'd supply a huge box of herbs and spices etc. (I have no idea why) That box took up a third of the rear passenger space but the guy hung onto it with a fierce determination.To cut a short story long, the box remained untouched. It travelled in its own spot all over CY. It might even have had its own seatbelt from memory.
The guy was a senior St Johns Ambulance guy.
He went troppo in Weipa and got sunstroke.
He insisted on having the passengers window open, he'd never breathed bulldust before.
He mostly ate tinned food.
But he brought that box home.

Now I've carried a high lift and a spare tyre on my bullbar before and never looked like needing either. I've never had to use my HF radio in anger (thank goodness)I've carried a hand winch and it never got out of the back. I've carried stuff that my missus has packed "just in case." I even had one jerry of diesel that was wrapped in its own protective cover...and it was still full and wrapped when it got home.
These days I carry a tent that's comfortable but far too big for one person.

But that can of herbs and spices still takes pride of place.

What about you ?
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Reply By: Bonz (Vic) - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:35

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:35
You wont believe this but I took a remote control for a TV, no TV bvut at least I had the remote.
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Follow Up By: Member - Roachie (SA) - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:39

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:39
I took the bloody TV and the remote on our first big trip with the Ultimate, back in 1999. Went up through the Gulf country, across the top road into NT.....toting this flaming TV in it's original cardboard carton. Only thing it was good for was looking at some of the footage we took with the handicam....which we didn't use much anyway. NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Follow Up By: Footloose - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 00:04

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 00:04
Took a small b@w 12v TV around Oz with the wife and kids. Kept em quiet in the tent when we had signal. No sat TV's in those days so it was a real treat when there was signal and we'd watch anything :))
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Reply By: Lone Wolf - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:40

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:40
One of those four slice toasters you buy at the camping store.

Binned it, and went back to my trusty wire mesh jobby...... and mirror....

Wolfie
AnswerID: 160329

Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 06:41

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 06:41
No, no, no Wolfie.

Those 4 slice toasters are very good - all you need to do is forcefully twist all four arms down such that they form a shelf about 20mm above the base plate then you can do one slice of toast, at a time, in a flat position - excellent :)

Mike Harding
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Follow Up By: Pajman Pete (SA) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:55

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:55
We persisted with one of those for years. We are back to the trusty wire mesh one. Cooked 4 slices on the Coleman yesterday morning almost as fast as my wife could butter them.

I reckon the guy who designed those 4 slice toasters is still laughing!

Pete
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Follow Up By: Lone Wolf - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 08:09

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 08:09
When Tracy bought this damn thing, and notice, I said TRACY, not Ian, I looked at it with derision, but kept my counsel.

We were up at Burra when we first attempted to use it, note the word... attempted.

I was at the stove with my daughter Rhiannan, and we were waiting, and waiting, for bread to either turn to toast, or just simply give up, and go stale.

Rhiannan says..."Look Dad, it can do five bits!" She had somehow placed another slice on the top, and it turned to toast! It went downhill from there though, as we then tried to grab the one and only slice of toast, and it fell, and got wedged, and started to burn.

Tracy comes out, to the sight of us trying to salvage the remains of the burnt slice, and admonishes us, for messing around, saying "You two, can't leave you alone to do anything. I see you have only Just figured out where to put the 4 slices of bread, if you had done that before, we would of had toast by now, but oh no, you've got to try and do one at a time, serves you right, hope you burn your fingers."

Well, what's a guy to do?

It's amazing, how a small crappy piece of tin, can cause that much consternation.

Wolfie
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Follow Up By: Laura B - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 14:45

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 14:45
im about to take the most useless item i think - that 4 piece toaster!! Had a trusty mesh one for yrs and saw this newy at camping show - ill take the other just in case i think!!!

Laura B
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Follow Up By: Pajman Pete (SA) - Wednesday, Mar 15, 2006 at 09:22

Wednesday, Mar 15, 2006 at 09:22
Good luck Laura, we struggled with ours for way too long:

"They sell these things ... there must be some way to make them work!"

I ended making a toasting fork out of a gum stick and a bent wire coat hanger to use over the fire. We had that for 12 years until I left it up in the VIC high country this January. (*sob*)

I would like to try one of these over our Coleman Dual Fuel where I could get the base red hot ... but then again, no. We are well rid of the thing. (frizbee'd into the ocean off the NT years ago where it should have rusted away to nothing by now.)

Cheers

Pete
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Follow Up By: Laura B - Monday, Mar 27, 2006 at 12:03

Monday, Mar 27, 2006 at 12:03
well - just back from camping.....we went to lake conjola and wernt so used to having everyh=thing there for us so we used to bbq and mates took an actual toaster and kettle....

didnt try the 4 piece toaster...plus we ran out of bread...bloody fish!!

guess we'll try it next time hey!!

Laura B
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Reply By: glenno(qld) - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:42

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:42
I have always carried a glass cutter in the car . Just in case i have to cut a piece of glass one day . Whats going on there !!!!
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Reply By: Footloose - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:44

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:44
Your posts make me feel SO much better. I have laughed out aloud at each and every one.
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Reply By: Truckster (Vic) - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:44

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:44
the wife.
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Follow Up By: Footloose - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:59

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:59
Yeah ? Wait till she won't come along. Bliss...until you need to find something or eat orset up camp or blame someone for something etc. After a week I start talking to myself and pity any poor traveller within earshot :))
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Follow Up By: Glenn (VIC) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 22:11

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 22:11
bugger, you beat me to it Bruce
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Reply By: Bonz (Vic) - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:46

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:46
I once took shoelaces
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Follow Up By: Truckster (Vic) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 13:29

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 13:29
were they black
yes/no
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Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Wednesday, Mar 15, 2006 at 17:58

Wednesday, Mar 15, 2006 at 17:58
off black actually, the aglets were black tho
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Reply By: ro-dah-o (WA) - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:48

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:48
a piece of rope about 30cm long. Have had it in three vehicles and never actually used it for anything. It just sits under the seat waiting for that special moment.....
AnswerID: 160337

Follow Up By: Footloose - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:56

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 22:56
I take quite a bit of rope and use it quite a lot. Kinda handy when the washing needs drying :))
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Follow Up By: ro-dah-o (WA) - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 23:03

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 23:03
I take a fair bit of rope too :)- usually about 10-15 metres for odds and ends, like hanging up the washing. Gets used all the time.

But this one little peice.............dunno, its just never been used in about 4 years.
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Follow Up By: Glenn (VIC) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 22:12

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 22:12
it could be used as a spare shoe lace
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Reply By: Member - Royce- Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 23:55

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 23:55
THE FISHING GEAR. My son and I have sat on most piers around Oz and paddled around a few lakes and rivers. NEVER CAUGHT ANYTHING!!!!

I'm off to Tassie for trip number 21. I'll take the rod and and may go for a little fish... don't expect too much.

Of course we do have this problem... lack of patience.

I still like to fish, and I guess it isn't very nice having to kiss em if we catch em.
AnswerID: 160348

Follow Up By: Footloose - Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 23:58

Monday, Mar 13, 2006 at 23:58
Royce, try the pier at Weipa around Sept/Oct. But take some heavy tackle with you.
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Follow Up By: Member - Oldplodder (QLD) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 08:50

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 08:50
We have the same problem with fishing gear.
And we have tried the Weipa (and Siesa) pier in Sept/Oct, no luck.
Every one else was pulling queenies out every few minutes, not one for us.

One friend took pity on us and took over, rigged it and cast it for us, nothing over 20 minutes. He took the line and after a few minutes, fish, and more straight away after each cast.

So we swapped gear, in case we had put some wrong smells on the gear.
Still nothing.
So he took his gear back and pulled in some more queenies.

I don't mind help cleaning and cooking, so I did that as part of my 'share' to the feast of the 20 largest queenies we kept. For the group of 6 cars.
That was over 90 minutes between 6 families, sorry 5 families catching fish.

So we no longer carry fishing gear :-)
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Follow Up By: V8Diesel - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:34

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:34
Hahahahaah.....I remember like it was yesterday standing around fishing with a mate at Esperance when he turned to me a bit sheepishly and said "you know, fishing actually bores me sh#tless"

He spoke the awful truth that no man has ever had the courage to come out and say. I bleep myself laughing - so true.

Sh*ts me to tears.
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Reply By: Footloose - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 00:07

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 00:07
Around Archer River I heard a hissing sound from inside the vehicle. Gas escaping from a cigarette lighter that didn't like the corros. I guess that made it pretty useless :)
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Follow Up By: Bilbo - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 01:23

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 01:23
Most useless thing?

Deodorant.

I travel alone.

Bilbo
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Follow Up By: Member - Royce- Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:34

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:34
What came first .... the travelling alone or the non use of deoderant?
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Reply By: Eric from Cape York Connections - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:39

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:39
A German back packer 19 year old girl she rang me and said she would be able to help with the cooking and many other jobs around the place [and no nothing like that at all].
She ended up being a vegan and would do a thing and just complained a lot.

All the best
Eric
AnswerID: 160366

Follow Up By: Member - Paul T- Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:52

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:52
the 'hand brake' the ',major controller' in other words shmbo.
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Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:56

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 07:56
You _do_ have a trusting wife, don't you? :)
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Follow Up By: Footloose - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:00

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:00
Eric, now you have totally destroyed all my fantasies :))
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Reply By: Rosco - Qld - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 08:54

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 08:54
Footloose

From what you wrote, the spice rack was only the 2nd most useless item. I reckon the bloke came 1st.

My most useless item was a pack of gas mantles .... 2 years after we'd gone 12 V lights.

Cheers

Rosco
AnswerID: 160376

Follow Up By: Member No 1- Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:28

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:28
very thoughtful are'nt you....spare parts for fellow campers
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Follow Up By: Footloose - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:06

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:06
Roscoe, that bloke was my brother and you're right. Useless. But we had his FIL along also. Now he was a right royal pain. Knew everything and was totally wrong. Argue at the toss of a hat. We argued about something so seriously that I checked my info 2 years later when I returned to the place and yes I was right, not that it really mattered. On that trip I found out how personality conflict can really ruin a trip. Pity the poor early explorers !
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Reply By: Member - Beatit (QLD) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:55

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 09:55
At the risk of becoming too philisophical I would like to suggest that it is all useless depending on your view on things until it's needed. The bride will tell you that all my recovery gear is useless because we rarely need it, clearly thinks my fishing gear is useless in fact some times she can't understand any of this "camping' thing. Her argument is if we don't go bush it is all useless. So back to my point, I take the lot and hope I never have to use it, yep that right down to toothpicks and extra deoderant - there is no such thing as a useless item.

Now useless people I've seen plenty.

Kind regards
AnswerID: 160384

Reply By: Wizard1 - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:21

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:21
A pair of neighbours that accompanied us to Wedge Island, just North of Perth, near Lancerlin on weekend fishing trip.

Not only were they useless, but they brought useless stuff with them:

All this dive gear which they never used.

A tent with no pegs!

Wet sleeping bags as they threw them in the boat before we left and it rained on the way there.

To make matters worse, they couldn't fish either!

They rode with use and another friend in their 4WD.

Since then..no 4WD of your own you don't come....
AnswerID: 160389

Follow Up By: Footloose - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:33

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 10:33
Ahhh...but did they say "4wd ? I could get a car along here" every 5 mts ? Grrrrrrr
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Reply By: Member - Norm C (QLD) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 11:12

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 11:12
Well, this one isn't really useless. Just never been used and I hope it stays that way.
I have a 5 litre water 'brick', that I have had hidden away in the 4B since we first bought it. I call it our 'Oh Sh*t' water. To be used only in case of emergency.
Haven't used it and hope I never do, but I'll keep carrying it.

Got a lot of other stuff I haven't used yet either. The spare fan belt and fuel filter. The third spare tyre. The fire extinguisher and lots more.

Think I'll keep carrying them too.
AnswerID: 160400

Follow Up By: Gramps (NSW) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 16:57

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 16:57
hahahaha sounds like me. Only difference is it's a 10 litre container :))))
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Reply By: Sand Man (SA) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 11:16

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 11:16
Well, in my early days of camping, I thought of an ingenious method of digging the "long drop".

Mr. Smarty Pants took along his Post Hole digger from home to make the job easy.

DID IT!.......Pigs Arze it did.

The ground was full of rocks of every description and the blades just slid off the bloody rocks without travelling downwards.

Would have been better off with a Pinch Bar.

Learnt a lot since those early days and decided the investment in a portable chemical dunny is much much easier and doesn't impact on the environment either.

Bill


I'm diagonally parked in a parallel Universe!

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Reply By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 16:43

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 16:43
Most useless item????

A map. Heck, I can get lost just as effectively with one as I can without one.....
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Reply By: Mad Dog (Australia) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 17:17

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 17:17
My tools.
Never needed to use them.
Wouldn't have a clue how to use them.
AnswerID: 160468

Follow Up By: Gramps (NSW) - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 22:13

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 22:13
hahahahaha don't need em on a Lux, Ray. Either it's going or it's dead :)))
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Reply By: Mr Fawlty - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:37

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:37
I always had a set of lock picks in the car, totally useless until one day we tried to come out a gate that the NP&WS had locked after letting everyone in... Came in handy then, made me an instant hero. But thats the only time I've ever had need for them
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Follow Up By: Footloose - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:43

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:43
Lock picks ? Now that's really pushing the envelope. Imagine what Mr Plod would think if he dropped by...of course you could be a locksmith I guess :))
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Follow Up By: Mr Fawlty - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:50

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:50
Actually section 92 of the ASIO act precludes me disclosing my occupation....
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Follow Up By: Footloose - Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:57

Tuesday, Mar 14, 2006 at 20:57
You're a lock picker, and there's only two types :))
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Follow Up By: Pajman Pete (SA) - Wednesday, Mar 15, 2006 at 09:13

Wednesday, Mar 15, 2006 at 09:13
I carry a lock pick too - the one with the big red handles. I use it a lot for work when people add extra locks to our buildings. Haven't found a lock I can't open yet!
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