Frydai Funee -

Submitted: Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 11:09
ThreadID: 35603 Views:3323 Replies:7 FollowUps:9
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Italian Football Training Video

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Reply By: porl - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 11:44

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 11:44
"An Australian man has been arrested in Italy for an assault on a local man following the football match between Australia and Italy. Witnesses say the Australian man was 20metres away when the incident happened. The victim suffered a fractured skull, a cardiac arrest and has developed diabetes as a result of the incident. He is expected to recover in a few minutes."

AnswerID: 182294

Reply By: Alfantz - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 15:24

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 15:24
Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally

dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to

pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear

under her dress! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again,

hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.



Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's

wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under

there?"



Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well

indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you

$500."





After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral

costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him

that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and as John doesn't,

he should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at

2p.m.sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the

bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.



John then quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bill came home from

work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly.

"Did John come by the house this afternoon?"



With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by a

few minutes this afternoon."



Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked,

"And did he give you $500?"



In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after

mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give

me $500".



Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by

saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning

and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this

afternoon on his way home and pay me back."



Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!



AnswerID: 182310

Reply By: Grizzle - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 16:49

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 16:49
Bloke pulls up in a disabled car park at the shops. He gets out and starts walking away. A traffic warden sees and stops him.

" hey, you just parked in a disabled park!!"

"Yeah," says the guy

You look alright to me!! Whats your disability???
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AnswerID: 182329

Reply By: Member - Cruiser (NSW) - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 17:50

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 17:50
Two Aborigines are riding along on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Aboriginals ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them.

He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the Aborigines he has to leave. "Hey mate" they say "gissa pucken lift". The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The Aboriginal put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough the coppers pull him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies Aboriginal Eggs.

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've got a wagon with 20,000 Aboriginal eggs in it - 2 have hatched and the bastards have managed to steal a motorbike already".
AnswerID: 182335

Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 20:43

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 20:43
You're going to be in trouble :)
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FollowupID: 438751

Follow Up By: Member - Cruiser (NSW) - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 20:58

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 20:58
Whats new
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FollowupID: 438754

Follow Up By: Joombi - Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 12:08

Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 12:08
I dont see the difference in telling a joke like that or telling an irish/jap/Yank joke, its all funny, onya Cruiser
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FollowupID: 438830

Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:08

Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:08
There isn't one, except in the eyes of the Politically Correct brigade.

To my mind racial humour is usually a good thing, it highlights the stereotypical aspects of different races and, in the process, breaks them down and allows us to laugh at ourselves. I'm half Irish and half English (actually I'm an Aussie now :) but I tell jokes about all three of my races. The Jews have a very long tradition of self depreciating humour as do many other races.

Mike Harding
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Follow Up By: Joombi - Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:53

Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:53
Well said Mike, Totally agree
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Follow Up By: Member - Cruiser (NSW) - Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:54

Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:54
Who cares about the Politically Correct brigade, they are just another example of a vocal minority group that tries to dictate to the rest of us how we should lead our lives, and the sad part about it is that the greater majority feel a need to kowtow to these overpaid academics. Look at the greenies and how they have effected our lifestyle.

It was friday and it was a joke. To anyone who took offence, get over it, and I am not suggesting that anyone on this forum did take offence to it, so please do not come back at me on that point.

The fact that some of us see humour in it is just because it has elements of truth to it, and thats the sad part about it.

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FollowupID: 438845

Reply By: On Patrol - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 19:39

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 19:39
AUSTRALIA

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and bbq’s. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and bbq’s. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day.

On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and bbq’s on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for bbq’s. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day.

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for bbq’s. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.

On the Fifth day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at bbq’s. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.

On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the bbq’s with. So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling bbq fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God saw that it was good.... well almost good. God saw that the blokes were tired and needed a rest.

So God created Females- to clean the house, bear children, wash, cook and clean the bbq’s. God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was bloody good.
IT WAS AUSTRALIA!!
AnswerID: 182354

Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 20:45

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 20:45
You're going to be in, even bigger, trouble :)
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FollowupID: 438752

Follow Up By: On Patrol - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 21:05

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 21:05
Nah!
She dont scare me, MUCH.

I laugh at danger.
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Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 21:14

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 21:14
>I laugh at danger.

And tweak the nose of destiny, perhaps? :)
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Reply By: On Patrol - Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 19:46

Friday, Jul 07, 2006 at 19:46
Why speak another language?

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Aussies are waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Aussies just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare.

"Parlare Italiano?" Still no response.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first Aussie turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" asks the other. "That cove knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
AnswerID: 182355

Reply By: hamish75 - Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:52

Saturday, Jul 08, 2006 at 15:52
Thierry Henry's performance this world cup has also earned him a coaching role in the swimming pool with the French diving team. I suppose he will be at home in the water, Frogs like water
AnswerID: 182420

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