Tuesday, Dec 26, 2006 at 11:19
I deal with sufferers of many of thos conditions on a nearly daily basis, I and my colleagues cope with what we deal with using humour, as do many of the psych nurses I have cause to interact with. Not that we'd necessarily relate some of the humour with people outside our own profession as it's pretty black at times, and if you forget the company you are in you can kill a dinner party conversation stone dead in seconds if you aren't carefull.
Many who suffer with the conditions also use humour as a coping mechanism, as do their carers. Sometimes they just like to keep that to themselves and those closest to them rather than in a public
forum. That doesn't mean that the rest of us have to, or that if someone posts like this it's having a shot at anyone. Some people like being supersensitive about their situation to draw attention or sympathy, others never mention it and battle quietly on - often leaving friends unaware for many years of what they are going through.
If you removed all jokes and humorous anecdotes that related to or might offend some individual or group there wouldn't be many left.
I wouldn't worry about it too much Oz. I've printed it out and you brightened the day of those stuck here dispatching.
I'll find something in a moment to highlight my case in point at my own expense and add it to this thread. If you removed all the non4wd or nontravel posts on the archives it'd be pretty empty.
Dave
Don't read on if you don't have a sense of humour.
You Know You're an Ambo if..........
You find humor in other people's stupidity.
You believe that 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm.
Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
You plan your dinner break while doing CPR.
Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers.
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group.
You have the bladder capacity of five people.
You can identify the negative teeth to tattoo ratio.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
You firmly believe that if Dilantin, Anginine and Narcan were put in the
water instead of fluoride, dentists may be busier but ambo work would grind to a halt.
You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.
You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance.
You automatically assume that the patient is a drug seeker when presented with a complaint of migraine, lower back pain etc and a list of numerous allergies (except Morphine).
Your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a play pen.
You encourage a drunk patient to
sign a refuse transport so you don't have to deal with them any longer.
You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis.
You have discovered a new condition that you call "hypo-prozac-emia".
You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.
You debate which is worse, spaghetti, meatballs with wine or pizza with beer, while performing CPR.
You believe that having an
ambulance at a school fete is an evil plot thought up by Satan.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet" is uttered.
You threaten to strangle anyone who even starts to say the "q" word when it is even remotely calm.
You are totally astounded when someone from a convalescent home is understandable.
You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name.
You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers .
You don't think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is inappropriate.
You have ever referred to someone's death as a "Celestial Transfer".
You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
You have ever answered a "lost condom" call.
You refer to someone in severe respiratory distress as a "smurf".
Your idea of a good time is dueling heartstarts.
You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide...Doing It Right".
You feel that most suicide attempts should be given a free subscription to "Guns and Ammo" magazine.
You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.
You have ever had a patient look you in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
You have ever wanted to reply "yes" when someone calls Cas and asks "Is my husband (etc) there?".
You have ever issued a "dead head" alert.
You have ever referred to the Cas Doc , triage nurse, or partner as a " bleep magnet".
Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
You think that caffeine should be available in I.V. form.
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
You have witnessed the charge nurse muttering down the hallway "Who's in charge of this mess anyway?".
You have ever used the phrase "health care reform" to instill fear into your coworkers' hearts.
You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
You play poker by betting ectopics on ECG strips.
You believe a "Supreme Being consult" is your patients only hope.
You want lab to order a "dumb bleep profile".
You have been exposed to so many X-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control.
You believe your patient is demonically possessed.
You believe that waiting room time should be proportional to length of time from symptom onset ("You've had the pain for three weeks...
well have a
seat in the waiting room and we'll get to you in three days").
Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 days?".
You know the phone number to the local Detox Center by heart
You’ve ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?".
You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food.
Your idea of gambling is a blood alcohol level pool instead of a football pool.
Your bladder expands to the same size as a Charlestown's
water tank.
Your feet are slightly flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's.
Your immune system is so
well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard.
You have a special shrine in your home to the inventor of Prozac.
You have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray trolley.
Your shoes have been seized and quarantined by either the Center for Disease Control, the EPA, or the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
You're able to tell the difference between an intern and the ground around a poultry farm.
You've been chipping away at your Degree for longer than most people take for a Doctorate.
Your idea of thawing the Christmas turkey consists of an IV and warmed saline... (and if the turkey you usually see has arms instead of wings and is sauced instead basted).
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