One for the Ladies
Subject: Fw: The Curtain Rods!!!
>> >> > >>THE CURTAIN RODS
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>crates, and suitcases.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>things.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> >
>>> >> >>beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>hollow of all of the curtain rods.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>for the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>They
>>> >>tried everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing the
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were
>>> >> > >>steam
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>cleaned, and air fresheners were hung everywhere!
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>worked.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take
>>> >> > >>the
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>stench any longer and decided to move.
>>> >> >
>>> >> >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>They could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out,
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>and, eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their
>>> >> >calls.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>purchase a new place.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange
>>> >> >
>>> >> >>
>>> >> > >>for getting the house back.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>worth, but only if she were to
sign the papers that very day.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>She agreed, and, within the hour, his lawyers delivered the
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>paperwork.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>Watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
>> home,
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>Including the curtain rods.
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> >
>>> >> >>I just love a happy ending, don't you?
Spending the New Year by the Kiewa River