Our resident ‘self harming’ member – The Minister for anything and everything the right honourable Member for Terang – has been at it again.
Apparently last Thursday night whilst having a ‘sleep over’ in
Melbourne, he decides to frequent that den of inequity (Crown Casino) that’s in spitting distance of his salubrious accommodation for dinner – so he says anyway.
Well, after the aforementioned meal he decamps the restaurant by exiting through the riverside outside area, and allegedly steps over a flower box. That immediately begs the question of why one would do that, I suppose non payment of the bill would be one explanation that readily comes to mind.
Guess what? The area on the other side of the flower box, in the dim light, is a tad (big tad mind you) lower than his launching off pad.
Yep! Crash, bang, thump, not much bounce, fair bit of muttered swearing etc etc.
Executes an immediate ‘self recovery’ and high tails it back to the accommodation with an extremely red face and all the spectators babbling on about - ‘did you see the drunk guy that crashed out of the restaurant Myrtle.’
Weeeeeeeeeeeell trendsetters, on arriving at his hotel room an immediate self examination takes place of the damage he can feel, but hasn’t seen yet.
Big fat egg type lumps on the shins, twisted ankle, swollen and still swelling left wrist, severely dented pride and worrying like chit how he is going to explain this one to SWMBO (the long ever suffering Marie).
No worries he thinks, I’ll visit my mate down Point
Cook way, by then I will have forgotten about it and hopefully nothing will be visible by the time I get bank to Terang and all will be sweet.
Hmmmm! That wrist is still swelling. B u g g e r! so he steals Ooops! meant ‘borrows’, a hotel pillow and
places it under the offending wrist, then drives off towards Point
Cook to see Billy his mate.
Gets over the Westgate , man! that wrist is ‘growing and throbbing’ and I am in tears ROFLMAO as I am writing this so I’ll end it now.
He ends up in the Werribee casualty – no break but is given big bomb pain killers and anti inflammatory’s that work out worse than the wrist apparently.
Just thought I would do the right thing and report on the said members physical welfare to keep the
forum apprised of same.
The moral of this story is – If he makes it known that he is going to visit you, ring up immediately and increase your personal liability insurance by a $1m or 2, cause you will need it.
Dead set he is walking, talking C H I T magnet disaster.
Ok! I’ll go to bed now - but this story is only half as good as the one about why he didn’t grace the drivers
seat of his or any other vehicle whatsoever for 4 weeks over last x-mas/new year (Ooops! Shouldn’t have said that)