Okay fellow forumites......I seem to attract more than my fare share of dirt on here from my "friends"........ so here's my chance to tell you all a little story about
young LUCY.......
It seems Lucy has just completed a trip up
Goog's Track and along the track eastwards to
Tarcoola and
Kingoonya etc.
After spending a couple of days alone and wondering whether the rest of mankind has left the face of the earth (ie: they hadn't seen a vehicle of any description since leaving
Ceduna), they decided to stop for some lunch along the side of the track.
Our mate decides that because there is SO MUCH traffic (NOT!!!) using the road, that he'd better do the right thing and get his big rig right off the track and onto the shoulder. Trouble is that the grader (over the years) had made the track about 2 foot lower than the level of the ground either side. Eventually he spots a little spot where he can execute a small "jump up" to get off the track.
They had their lunch and upon climbing back into the cab of the Droopcarrier, he looks at the edge of the track and decides it mightn't be such a good idea to rejoin the track at an acute angle, lest he suffer a rollover (given that there is still a significant drop-off everwhere he looks). So, the decision is made to turn at right angles to the track, so that he can put both front
wheels can rejoing the track at the same time. Too easy (or so you would imagine).
Big problem!!!! The front
wheels end up wallowing in mid air, about 8" above the track with nil traction. He switches on the rear Air Locker and promptly sinks the back
wheels into the soft sandy shoulder, effectively increasing the front
wheels' height above the track to 10"!!!! hahahaha
Now, remembering that there are
no vehicles using this track, he wasn't too worried about becoming the brunt of any jokes or jibes, as there was nobody around for hundreds of kilometers.
WRONG!!!!
As he commenced the arduous task of shovelling away the earth from under the belly of the stricken Droopy, a Britz hi-top full of naked scandinavian blonde babes came by and laughed at our mate. Shortly afterwards a road train happened along and the driver politely advised Ken that his rig would get further if he put all 4
wheels back onto the ground and stopped being silly and showing off. Then a 4 kilometer long freight train roared by and the driver blasted his horn and showed Ken a brown-eye out his window. Poor bloke had worked up a huge sweat by this time and still had about 3 cubic meters of soil to move before he could get the front tyres back onto mother earth!!!
Another couple of vehicles passed by, full of station hands. They threw empty beer bottles at him, narrowly missing his head. He tried in vain to smash them into "long-on" with his trusty shovel. The final straw came when a Datsun Bluebird driven by an 80 year old woman stopped and promptly attached a snatch strap to the droopy and before our hapless EO member could protest, she had the whole rig back on the track and heading in the right direction.
I understand she offered to give him mouth to mouth (as by this time he was VERY red in the face and in need of oxygen), but he politely declined the offer and proceeded along the track with his tail between his legs.......
ROFLMAO.........