How do you turn a fella around?

Submitted: Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 20:46

ThreadID: 49920 Views:2568 Replies:7 FollowUps:4

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Member - Kim M (VIC)

I've got a good mate. He comes from the bush and can put his hand to anything. Took him and his missus up to Burke Town on the Gulf a couple of years ago and had a great time, particularly fishing on the Albert River.

However, this buggar won't make a decision on a proposed trip next year. I'm just about to take to him with a "Red Gum Attitude Adjustment Device".

Any advice would be appreciated.

Regards

Kim

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Reply By: Member - BIGMARK (QLD) - Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 22:24

Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 22:24

There is one thing Ive learned Kim.You cant turn ANYONE around.You set a date when you're going and you go.Deb and I do it regularly.Put out the invitation.If no one else can get their crap together,then they miss out.
Cheers,Mark.

AnswerID: 263384

Follow Up By: Member - Kim M (VIC) - Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 22:40

Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 22:40

BIGMARK

That's the conclusion I've come to. When you get them up there, they have a good time.

Regards

Kim

FollowupID: 524946

Reply By: Member - Phillip S (WA) - Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 22:29

Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 22:29

It can be good to go with a mate, but then sometimes you finish up spending your "holiday" just to please them.......then it becomes a chore and I have seen it ruin what used to be a good friendship...you don't hate each other, it's just that it sought of strains things so that you don't have what you had before.
I don't do it anymore and Just my wife and I go...we meet folks of like mind and have a great time and NO pressure...and if we decide to change our plans.... no hassle....besides it might be his way of saying "please don't ask me to go with you....I don't want to"
Just tell him what your plans are and what you expect to see and do and wait and see "IF" it lights his fire....but don't push it.
He just might change his mind...also it could be a matter of finance....these trips aren't cheap.

AnswerID: 263385

Follow Up By: Member - Kim M (VIC) - Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 23:05

Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 23:05

Phil

In this case he's my best mate (we're joined at the hip).

Therefore, there is'nt an issue on getting along together.

As far as I'm concerned, he's a dick head and needs to get off his bum and do some of the things he dribbles on about.

No good going through life with a wish list and doing nothing about it!

Regards

Kim

FollowupID: 524951

Follow Up By: Shaker - Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 23:39

Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 23:39

Just because he's your best mate, doesn't mean he has to like your hobbies etc.
Maybe he didn't enjoy the previous trip as much as you did?

Personally, I got sick of trying to get people to enjoy themselves, now I just say "I'm going to ......, on ....... for .... days/weeks & your welcome to come".

FollowupID: 524955

Follow Up By: Member - Ian W (NSW) - Sunday, Sep 23, 2007 at 11:31

Sunday, Sep 23, 2007 at 11:31

O.K!

There's the hint. You haven't thought deeply enough about this situation.

He's your best mate and your joined at the hip.

It's not him that's the problem, it's is Missus, she's the one that's stuffing everything up. Your mate wants to do the trip, he's actually chomping at the bit, ready to go, got his swag rolled etc..... etc..

Now his bitch, sorry his missus, has told him that their not doing this trip because of YOU. You are a bad influence, you lead him astray, you drink to much bleep and, horrors of horrors you don't show her the respect to which she is entitled.

Now your mate has not confirmed the trip with you as yet because he is madly working on his Missus to turn her around, this guy is sucking up something awful so as to be able to do the trip.

Sit back, allow him to do his thing so as to pull of the trip and remember!

If the trip does not come off it's HER fault.

Regards,
Dorothy Dix

FollowupID: 525172

Reply By: Hairy (NT) - Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 23:41

Friday, Sep 21, 2007 at 23:41

Gday Kim,

At a guess...You really want him to go!
Tell him your going with or without him BUT he needs to make his mind up.
Rub in the fact that if he dosent go your going to show him your trip photos over and over just to bleep him!!!

Just tell him the truth...It will be a lot better trip if you come!

Cheers
Hairy

AnswerID: 263389

Reply By: Footloose - Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 08:15

Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 08:15

Kim, I'd think about working on his missus's thoughts. She might be the one making the decisions.

AnswerID: 263412

Reply By: Member - Brian H (QLD) - Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 09:02

Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 09:02

If you gotta make this much effort to get him along ....... its already a chore .......... pick a date and say see you at the start line "or not" and just go.

Its a holiday .....simply enjoy.

Brian

AnswerID: 263416

Reply By: Member - Duncs - Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 18:02

Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 18:02

Kim,

It's all been said. Set the date, give him plenty of notice and a warm invite and go.

Actually where and when? I could be interested.

I am having similar issues with my best mate. My problem is that I am married to her.

Duncs

AnswerID: 263466

Reply By: Ozboc - Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 18:05

Saturday, Sep 22, 2007 at 18:05

I do as other do now --- No one is reliable so plan your trips for yourself , and if your friend chooses to tag along , then even better - that way there will be no disappointments or 11th hour reconfiguration of your holiday plans

Boc

AnswerID: 263468