A funny serious outlook on Human Resources????

Submitted: Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 19:45
ThreadID: 59644 Views:2665 Replies:4 FollowUps:3
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HeyAll, after getting so many Knock backs at work for a better position I've decided to do my own Human Resources Questionaire and wanting to share it with you all!!!

This is meant for fun and a stir so feel free to share it with all of your friends and family!!!!


I know it's not friday but it is close!!!!


Human Resources Questionnaire
Is the subject Appling for position Human? Yes No Maybe
Is the subject qualified? Yes No Maybe
Is the subject appropriate looking? Yes No Maybe
Are you getting paid to waste time? Yes No Maybe
Are you qualified to recommend subject for a job? Yes No Maybe
Can you the recruitment officer answer all of the above? Yes No Maybe
Do you the recruiter know anything about what is required? Yes No Maybe
Do you the recruiter have any brains? Yes No Maybe
Does the subject you are interviewing have brains? Yes No Maybe
Is the subject smarter then you? Yes No Maybe
As the recruiter do you lie to the subject? Yes No Maybe
Can you the recruiter tell the difference between an arse kisser and “down to earth” worker? Yes No Maybe
Are you an Arse Kisser as well? Yes Definitely No Maybe “I’m The Biggest Arse Kisser around”
Are you the recruiter a total tosser? Yes Definitely No Maybe “I’m The Biggest Tosser around”
Would you hire the Subject for the position if subject is a good worker? Yes No Maybe
If you answered No, was the reason being subject is too good of a worker to put up in a higher position, because owner of business would have to look for another good worker!!
As the recruiter, you think you are playing God? Yes No Maybe
As the recruiter do you think about what you are going to do tonight after work whilst interviewing subject? Yes No Maybe
Do you think, as the recruiter, you are wasting the subject’s time? Yes No Maybe
If you answered no to question above you’re lying!
Do you think you are a good recruitment officer? Yes No Maybe or “I’m a total tosser”
This was written because HR is a big waste of time and couldn’t organise a root in a brothel! Let alone get the “Right People for the Job”. If only they thought better we would have better employers!!!
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Reply By: Member - Nev (TAS) - Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 20:28

Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 20:28
Hi Christopher,

I can honestly say I believe in your feelings towards HR. I have always considered HR jobs to be the job you get when you can't get a real job.


Rgds
AnswerID: 314716

Follow Up By: Louie the fly - Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 20:33

Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 20:33
An a manager of an engineering business I did a HR diploma to help me better understand the people I am responsible for. One night I think I woke up in a cold sweat yelling oh no, oh no, look what I've become. I learned something valuable though - would I employ myself .......... or not?
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FollowupID: 580778

Follow Up By: Member - DAZA (QLD) - Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 22:00

Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 22:00
Hey Louie

That reminds me of a Young Bloke who used to work for me a few
years ago, he comes up to me and says, Daza your the Boss right,
and I am nothing, so whats it like to be the Boss over nothing.lol

Cheers
Daza
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FollowupID: 580799

Reply By: neil&brenda - Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 22:19

Thursday, Jul 10, 2008 at 22:19
All good fun I am sure! Got Knocked back I am sure! Sour grapes I am sure! Move on to be sure!!
As you yourself say, problem??
As far as we know, we ony have one shot. Make sure it's an accurate one?
AnswerID: 314741

Reply By: Member - Christopher P (NSW) - Friday, Jul 11, 2008 at 07:43

Friday, Jul 11, 2008 at 07:43
This was written because HR is a big waste of time and couldn’t organise a root in a brothel! Let alone get the “Right People for the Job”. If only they thought better we would have better employers!!!

I should've added "and Employee's" aswell.

Problem being these days, if you don't have adegree or kiss ass then you don't get anywhere. Especially if your team leader has a sister in HR to back stop and write all of his applications for the positions. Also to if he don't like you then you can't move anywhere in the company or leave!!!!

I know!!!

I also have a sister in law in HR for big corparations for CEO's!!!
AnswerID: 314775

Reply By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Friday, Jul 11, 2008 at 21:35

Friday, Jul 11, 2008 at 21:35
Chris, my personal view, it takes a certain breed to survive in the Corporate world.

If your hard working, honest, trust your workmates and forget to watch your back.....you wont last 5 minutes.

Cheers.....Lionel.
AnswerID: 314882

Follow Up By: Member - Christopher P (NSW) - Friday, Jul 11, 2008 at 21:53

Friday, Jul 11, 2008 at 21:53
Thanks Lionel, I have learnt that one the hard way, plenty of knives in my back.

I have being screwed over so many times i have lost count and i guess that happens to most people???

You know what? My sister in law said i was a very good worker, and i turned around and said i can take that two ways, and insult or a compliment? She asked why?? I said Good workers don't go anywhere in a company you have to leave to get a better position. If you are lucky!!!

I'm a good worker, honest reliable hardworking and i get F%^*ed over because of it!!! Like a lot of people do!!

I also saved a few peoples assses in my time and still i get screwed over!!!

Oh well shiiit happens.

Thanks for the tip thou Lionel!!!
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FollowupID: 580933

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