Friday, Feb 06, 2009 at 06:29
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.
Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.
On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
Emergency safety procedures at a US summer
camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
On the back of a pilot's
seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.
On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.
On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.
On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.
On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.
On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.
On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.
Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.
On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.
On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.
On a pair of socks bought in Egypt:
Do not wash.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.
On a Frisbee:
Warning: may contain small parts.
In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.
AnswerID:
347763