Thursday, Jul 30, 2009 at 02:44
ODE TO THE SPELL CHECKER
Eye halve a spell chequer
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot see.
Eye strike a quay and type a word
And weight for it two say
Weather I am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore yore pleased too no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew!
Let's face it -English is a crazy language:-
We take it for granted , but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose - two geese, so one moose - two meese. Why isn't the word "phonetically" spelled that way? If you had a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
We recite at a play and play at a recital. Ship by truck and send cargo by ship, have noses that run and feet that small . How can a fat chance and a slim chance be the same thing while a wise man and a wise guy are the opposite?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computer, and reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't really a race at all). That is why when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
Further proof of the craziness:-
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The
farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse refuse .
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he could get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in
the desert.
Since there is no time like the present , he decided to present the present.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsman about how to row.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
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