I just recieved an email about an hour ago from an older bloke like my self and he also has some of my interests from another era,
Anyhow I read the story and thought gee this is ok for the Yanks but us Aussies need it re-written so here's the results It also helped to take my mind off other issues of the week, Both Countries have very similar ideas about life,Top version is the American way, Bottom version is OUR WAY.
I have lived, loved, lost and loved again.
Life is not easy, but it is what it is.
Image Could Not Be Found
Cowboy rules for:Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Arizona, Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, 75 & I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed.. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year..
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/ pheasants/ ducks/ doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait
shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Boston, New
York City or Washington call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have lived, loved, lost and loved again.
Life is not easy, but it is what it is.
Image Could Not Be Found
Bushmen and Ringer rules for:
Northern Territory, North Queensland and the
Wild
Kimberley region of WA are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' We drive Toyota's because we want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Nissan. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Stuart Hwy goes South, So does the Great Northern. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. Very Impressive.. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year..
6. Every person in the Top End waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of Magpie Geese/ducks/or Feral Pigs are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your Ass at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat
Barramundi, Beef and Roo. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait
shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of Duck season.Or the first Beer,
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the ham or Chicken.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Tomato Sauce! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you blokes in
Adelaide,
Perth,
Melbourne or
Sydney call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILLI!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14.
Darwin Football is as important here as the
Sydney Swans,
Adelaide Crows, West Coast Eagles,
St Kilda and Geelong, and a heck more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your Undies! Refer back to #1!
A true Aussie will send this to at least 10 others and a few new mates that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!
.