Aussie or American

Submitted: Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 13:42
ThreadID: 75404 Views:4025 Replies:10 FollowUps:21
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I just recieved an email about an hour ago from an older bloke like my self and he also has some of my interests from another era,
Anyhow I read the story and thought gee this is ok for the Yanks but us Aussies need it re-written so here's the results It also helped to take my mind off other issues of the week, Both Countries have very similar ideas about life,Top version is the American way, Bottom version is OUR WAY.

I have lived, loved, lost and loved again.
Life is not easy, but it is what it is.
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Cowboy rules for:Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Arizona, Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, 75 & I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed.. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year..

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/ pheasants/ ducks/ doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Boston, New York City or Washington call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!
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I have lived, loved, lost and loved again.
Life is not easy, but it is what it is.
Image Could Not Be Found

Bushmen and Ringer rules for:
Northern Territory, North Queensland and the
Wild Kimberley region of WA are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' We drive Toyota's because we want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Nissan. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Stuart Hwy goes South, So does the Great Northern. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. Very Impressive.. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year..

6. Every person in the Top End waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of Magpie Geese/ducks/or Feral Pigs are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your Ass at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat Barramundi, Beef and Roo. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of Duck season.Or the first Beer,

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the ham or Chicken.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Tomato Sauce! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you blokes in Adelaide, Perth,Melbourne or Sydney call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILLI!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. Darwin Football is as important here as the Sydney Swans, Adelaide Crows, West Coast Eagles, St Kilda and Geelong, and a heck more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your Undies! Refer back to #1!

A true Aussie will send this to at least 10 others and a few new mates that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!


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Reply By: Ian & Sue - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 14:40

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 14:40
Thing really arent so different :-) - I would still rather call the Pilbara my home though.


Thanks Doug - I know I havent said it before but I really enjoy breakfast on Sunday with your Sunday history session. Keep up the great work and our thoughts and well wishes are with you.

Sue
Geraldton (WA)
ex Pilbarite
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Reply By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 14:47

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 14:47
HAHAHA, nice one Doug.

Have to admit, Ive never met a yank I didnt like.

Budweiser is my brew of choice and I'd kill for a big black F250 with chrome wheels.

Cheers......Lionel.
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Follow Up By: Member - Doug T (NT) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 18:56

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 18:56
Lionel
You have to get your mind past that 4 letter word that starts with F ord and come back down to D for a 5 letter word.
I think these are far better than the Fords, and they come in Black with chrome wheels too,

DODGE RAM

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Follow Up By: chevypower - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:35

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:35
Any reason why you think the Dodge is better? Because an F250 is a Heavy Duty pickup and the Ram 1500 is light duty, with a 5' bed max and coil springs. Even an F150 crew cab can have a 6'6'' bed and has a higher payload and towing capacity than the Dodge 1500. My father in law has the Ram 2500 with the Cummins, but I prefer the Fords.
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Follow Up By: Member - Doug T (NT) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:40

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:40
chevypower
I only used the 1500 as an example , just saved time looking for a 3500 , just grabbed the 1st one I seen , of course the Cummins is standard on the 3500 with Dual Wheels on the drive, leaves the Ford for dead ,

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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:55

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:55
Thats not a bad llooking ute, not bad at all.

Big, black and beautiful.........just how I like my women.......hahaha.



Cheers.......Lionel.
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Follow Up By: chevypower - Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 04:00

Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 04:00
Doug, how does the Dodge leave the Ford for dead? You can get duallies on the F-350 too. Ford also is the only one in the F-450 segment too which also has duallies. (Not that I am the slightest bit interested in getting a dually). The 6.4L V8 Twin-turbo Powerstroke diesel has the same power and torque as the 6.7L Cummins in the Dodge. For 2011, Ford has a 6.7L V8 diesel that makes 400HP/750lb-ft (300kw/1015Nm), which will blow away the Cummins. The Cummins will stay at 350HP/650lb-ft (260kw/880Nm). The Ford will use Urea (DEF) and get noticeably better fuel economy too. The Cummins will not require DEF, and still meet EPA 2010 emissions (some people see that as a good thing), though the fuel economy on the Cummins will suffer significantly compared to the Ford. Actually the GM trucks will be up there with Ford on power and torque, the Dodge will be the one that is down - but Ford, Chevy and Dodge all make fantastic trucks. The Ford frames are known to be the strongest, and it's fine to have either as a preference, but to suggest the Ford is less superior is a bold statement that just isn't true.
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Follow Up By: Member - Doug T (NT) - Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 09:21

Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 09:21
chevypower
I'm not going to get into a week long debate over whats best and whats not, you like Ford, I like Dodge, simple eh, like the Ford /Holden thing , or as in V8 Supercars, One might like Ingall, I like Rick Kelly, it's a freedom of choice , I'm not standing over you with an AK47 demanding you like Dodge ,
My Son just sent me a photo of the Ford F-250 Super Chief, I emailed him straight back , what an ugly looking heap of metal,
FORD F-250


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Follow Up By: chevypower - Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 19:47

Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 19:47
I don't have have a problem with you liking whatever you choose (as I already said above "it's fine to have either as a preference", but I am allowed to challenge your claims that the Dodge "leaves the Ford for dead." Now you are switching the argument to designs of concept cars that haven't been released?
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Follow Up By: Member - Doug T (NT) - Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 22:24

Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 22:24
chevypower
Debate is finished , all over , Dodge 10 Ford zero

Power comes from the BRAND NEW 6.7 LITRE Cummins(R) 650 Turbo Diesel engine, which generates a mighty 262KW AND 881N-m torque or on the old scale 350HP and 650 foot pounds of torque making it the most powerful truck in its class, these new engines are 85% quieter than the Australian delivered F250!! And with over 1million Cummins powered Dodges built and 30% fewer moving parts than a V8, reliability is second to none!!!!

Or if you like we can talk about one of these .

Dodge Ram SRT-10 , The 8.3-liter V-10 Viper engine that pumps out 500 horsepower and 525 pound-feet of torque ensures that performance won't be compromised and propells the SRT-10 from zero to 60 mph in 5.4 seconds and through the quarter-mile in just 13.8 seconds.

now go play with your toy .


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Follow Up By: chevypower - Monday, Jan 25, 2010 at 03:14

Monday, Jan 25, 2010 at 03:14
Doug, you don't have a clue do you? You compare the current 6.7 Cummins, which I already gave the specs to, to the OLD Ford 7.3? Should we talk about the OLD Dodge 5.9? Because that is what Dodge had when Ford had the 7.3. Dodge is NOT the most powerful truck in its class. I live in America where we have these trucks! You live in Australia (where I used to live) where you DON'T have these trucks. So I bet you haven't even driven one. I have driven them all! Currently, Chevy has the most power and torque (not by much). The Duramax is rated at 360HP/660lb-ft, the Ford AND Dodge are both rated at 350HP/650lb/ft - though the Ford Powerstroke (which is NOT a 7.3, it's a 6.4) has slightly more revability than the Cummins' I-6 motor. Dodge doesn't even make the SRT Ram anymore... nobody wants useless street trucks, why even mention it? I am not interested in the F-150 Lightning either, that also doesn't exist anymore. I would be more interested in the Ford SVT F150 Raptor, OR the Dodge Power Wagon - oh, surprised? I actually don't hate Dodge, I am just sick of your claims that they are best in class.

As I said before, for MY 2011, Dodge STILL has 350HP/650lb-ft, and Ford and Chevy have approx 400/750lb-ft. So shut up about your theory of best-in-class. You don't have a clue.
I OWN the truck I want, an F-150, and I drive it every day, you seem to think you know everything about them considering being in Australia you have pretty limited access to any of them - except the OLD 7.3 which you seem to think is the current diesel for Ford.
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Follow Up By: The Boss - Monday, Jan 25, 2010 at 05:45

Monday, Jan 25, 2010 at 05:45
Ummmmm, chevypower, mate its just a vehicle. A vehicle which in my view would be pointless owning in Australia. Bigger isnt better over here.
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Reply By: Ozboc - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 15:06

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 15:06
Think you can add ---- YOu payed 1 million for a house on less than 1/4 acre - My 1/2 million bought a property the size of your town where the neighbours are a 20 min drive away
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Reply By: Member - Sigmund (VIC) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 15:22

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 15:22
We're so certain of our identity we have to stuff it down others' throats?
AnswerID: 400613

Follow Up By: Rob! - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 16:59

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 16:59
Interesting post isn't it?

A classic case of xenophobia.

The world would be a better place if everbody was like me. Hitler thought so anyway.

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Follow Up By: Member - Timbo - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:46

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:46
...and a few new mates that probably won't get it.

I think it's actually a bit of reaction against people who want to stuff their 'identity' down other people's throats ie. don't expect the remote parts of the country to be just like the city that you're used to, and you can't always insist on your city comforts in the country (ie. you can expect to get dust on your car, you can expect that a farm will smell like a farm, and maybe you can't just insist on eating certain things that may not be available, and please don't disturb the quiet with your thumpity-thump).

If anything, it's a light-hearted dig against xenophobia (fear of those who are different) by saying that people in the country ARE different - in other words: don't go from your city to the country and insist on everyone there being just like you!
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Follow Up By: Member - Sigmund (VIC) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:55

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:55
Fair 'nuff.

Comes across as 'heavy hearted' to me tho.

I'm a city slicker but have worked and travelled in the bush and this aussie manifesto doesn't really capture the ethos I've found - which is both more laconic and more open to difference.
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Follow Up By: Member - Timbo - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:16

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:16
Yep, I'm a city slicker too (but I pull my trousers up and I'm not one of the vegetarian or sushi munching varieties!) and we can be thankful that the aussie bushfolk are generally more welcoming to us than what the thread might indicate - I guess that's due to adapting it straight from an American email.

Go easy on Doug though, he's had a tough week and perhaps just trying to cheer up himself (and others) - I do think this thread was intended to be light hearted.
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Reply By: Alloy c/t - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 15:44

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 15:44
#15 should be scare the crocodiles. lol.
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Reply By: Glenndini - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:21

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:21
In fact we are SO friendly we will:-
-call you and idiot for the way you wear your clothes.
-tell you to get out of the way if we don't like how you drive.
- bleep off if you don't shag cattle.
-brag about the cost of our tractors.
-claim to be friendlier than anyone who is not us.
-shoot you if your mobile phone rings (but complain like buggery if we don't have mobile coverage ourselves).
-admit our ignorance about what food is.
-kill animals if we want to.
-claim to treat women better than anyone who is not us.
-feel insecure enough about what we eat to bag you if you don't eat the same.
-claim you are ignorant about food whilst revelling in our own ignorance.
- laughingly claim to not take drugs but drink more than the rest of the country put together.
-knock other people for being as parochial as us when it comes to sport.
- abuse anyone who is not like us, even if it's just the music.
-claim general superiority of life over all others at all times and mistake this for friendliness.

Rednecks over here too I guess.

AnswerID: 400628

Follow Up By: Member - Timbo - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:36

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 17:36
...and a few new mates that probably won't get it
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Follow Up By: rosso1234 - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:18

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:18
Bingo......could not have put it better myself
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Follow Up By: rosso1234 - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:20

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 19:20
but the original poster won't "get it"
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Follow Up By: Member -Chops - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 20:26

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 20:26
And in News just to hand, we mourn the death of the Australian sense of humour due to an overdose of political correctness.
RIP
Ps-who invented the word xenophobia? PC again
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Follow Up By: Top End Explorer - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 23:45

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 23:45
The lengths people will go to get up-tight amuses me beyond belief.

We don't drink Lattes and eat Cucumber sandwiches in the bush, it is Billy Tea without milk or sugar and a Proper sized steak cooked on a piece of steel over a fire.

When we sit down in the morning with a cuppa, or a beer in the evening around a fire and have a chat about the day, this would equate to 6 months of therapy to some city slickers.

I have seen it a 1000 times before, some people come from the city and there is to much nature and not enough concrete.

For Christ sake take Dougs thread as the light hearted thread it was supposed to be, and if that is to much take a Bex and have a lie down with a therapist.

Cheers Steve


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Reply By: get outmore - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 20:38

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 20:38
missed a few

we drive on dirt roads, gravel roads ive never heard of

we use mobiles not cells or mobile phones or cell phones

while theres the odd duck season round the nation a shooting seasons pretty foreighn to us

we dont have water hazards - nearest waters at least 200km away and its a dam

we dont use the word "aint"

home boys play doof doof music and blokes dont wear underwear they wear jocks

prob missed a few more myself
AnswerID: 400644

Reply By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 20:41

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 20:41
Gawd!!!!

Where the hell did Hitler and xenophobia come into it ?

Are some of you blokes reading something into it I'm not seeing ?

I read Doug's post in the same vein I listen to 'Sammy the Lambassador's' rantings, with tongue in cheek and liberal amounts of jest.

Next time I hear the words "put a lamb chop on the barbie" I'll automatically think of Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden, Idi Amin or Paul Keating.....lol.


Cheers.....Lionel.
AnswerID: 400645

Follow Up By: The Boss - Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 02:54

Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 02:54
I agree Lionel.

I dont see anything wrong with Dougs post, good light hearted laugh. Probably too true actually. I agree with most of it, he has said it well in the Aussie way.

Good on ya Doug.
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Follow Up By: Member - John (Vic) - Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 09:33

Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 09:33
Yep!! I'm with you guys.

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Reply By: Member - DAZA (QLD) - Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 21:59

Friday, Jan 22, 2010 at 21:59
G/Day Doug

Interesting Thread, the Creed I go by in Life is,

*If you want to get any where in life be a Do-er not a Watcher, dont expect Handouts.

*Be an Individual, it's better than being a Clone of someone else.

*Be a Man and Look After and Respect Women.

*It doesn't matter what Sex you are, you come into the world Messing your pants and you leave this world Messing your pants.


Cheers

AnswerID: 400654

Reply By: travelmate2 - Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 19:54

Saturday, Jan 23, 2010 at 19:54
Good post Doug, sorry to hear about Dusty.

To all Ozies one for the Australian Day collection

Kasey Chambers, Poppa Bill and the Little Hillbillies

not sure if I'm allowed to do this but it is Ozie Day...

Cheers

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