To give you all a laugh.

Submitted: Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 18:20
ThreadID: 8886 Views:1485 Replies:9 FollowUps:26
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G'day troops & troopets,

I've come up with a theory that you might find funny.

"I am the centre of the Universe."

My reasoning is as follows: We are told that the Universe is infinite. Therefore, it is infinite in all directions from Me, thus making Me the centre. So when I'm out for a drive in "Old Bluey", He then becomes the centre of the universe ( as it should be ). It may be argued that my theory could apply to everyone and anything......but its my theory.....he he. By saying this, I suppose would make everybody else "just off centre." I hope nobody gets offended by this, after all its just a theory.

P.S. My Wife thinks I'm strange.
"Slow and steady wins the race."

Regards,

J - Man.
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Reply By: cokeaddict - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 19:47

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 19:47
Hey J - Man,
Makes sense to me mate. As for your wife thinking your strange, well..id check the draws and see if she has a massive insurance policy out on you, then you will know for sure that she may be right.

Just kidding ok...just kidding :-)I love it when you talk DIRTY !
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Reply By: Member - Luxoluk - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 20:29

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 20:29
Hi J-man. Loved your post, it's a jem! Got any more??Butcher Country Track
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Follow Up By: Member The J - Man (Cairns) - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 20:51

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 20:51
As a matter of fact, I do have this other one involving a "Rubber chicken, a ball of string and a bar of soap"..........no wait, thats a joke.

The Wife won't let me tell it."Slow and steady wins the race."

Regards,

J - Man.
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Reply By: Alex H - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:02

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 21:02
sorry to rain on your parade, but you're about 15 years out of date - they have now decided the universe is not infinite, but only about 18 billion light years across.

Ahh what the hell, near enough infinite as makes no difference.
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Reply By: Willem - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:11

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:11
I concur with your wife !!!!! :-)

Cheers,
Willem

Always going somewhere
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Reply By: Member - Des Lexik(SA) - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:12

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:12
OK So you want a joke. Came from the rounds today. Apparently the Kiwi's are so depressed from losing the Rugby, the price of Lamb has dropped to $10 per hour. A smirking apology to you Kiwi's out there.ne cede malis
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Follow Up By: Willem - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:30

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:30
ooooooooo.........you're nasty, Mr. Lexik !!!!!!!!! :-))Willem

Always going somewhere
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Follow Up By: Member - Des Lexik(SA) - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:37

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:37
G'day Willem, I could have used the alternative using Wilderbeasts and Rands so I'm not that nasty.LOLne cede malis
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Follow Up By: Brett - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 18:27

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 18:27
And the NZ postal service has recalled a recent stamp issue with the All Blacks pictured

because the Kiwis don't know which side to spit on.
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Follow Up By: ron1 - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 21:11

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 21:11
and i found out the other day, why kiwis dont take there wifes to the foot ball matches, Its because they keep trying to jump the fence to graze on the grass
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Reply By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:35

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:35
See if you can stretch you mind around this extention to the first entry:

If I am the center of the universe (by the infinite distance definition given earlier) and my friend 2 metres away is also the center of the universe (Mathematical derivation, infinity - 2 = infinity), then we effectively exist in the same space. Further, the concept of distance per se is effectively redundant, meaning our belly-buttons exist at exactly the same point as our big toe (for example). Effectively we are reduced to all existing in a singularity in the space/time continuum, the size of that singularity by definition being infinitely small. Put quite bluntly, we do not exist.

...and with that I have made life, the universe, and everything dissappear in a puff of logic............................

(With apologies and appropriate credits to the late Douglas Adams, author of "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy")
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Follow Up By: Member - Des Lexik(SA) - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:49

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 22:49
Gary, I have no desire to severely reminstrate with you but simply to shoot your logic down in flames, If we don't exist, what the hell are we doing on this forum in our non-existant way. I'm sorry but you won't read this follow up because you don't exist.ne cede malis
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 23:33

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 23:33
If you've read the book(s), you will have followed the logic........
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Follow Up By: Wayne - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 08:54

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 08:54
42 :-)
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 10:42

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 10:42
And the question????
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Follow Up By: Wayne - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 13:46

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 13:46
Hmmm...........thats a hard one :-) could it be...........
Life, the universe and everything?
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Follow Up By: Dennis (Brisbane) - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 14:38

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 14:38
6 x 7 :-O
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 16:36

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 16:36
Gotcha both!!!

The answer was 6 x 9.....

And yes, it was mathematically correct......

(I knew there was something fundimentally screwed up about the universe!!!)

Next question...by what mathematical mechanism was it correct??? (clue: we are extremely biased in our thinking...)
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 16:49

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 16:49
Addit: The initial question was "Life, the universe and everything" which Deep Thought gave the answer "42" after 10 000 years of deliberation. It was Deep Thought II that had to derive the question that actually gave the answer "42" and that question was "6 x 9".

Still leaves the question: how does 6 x 9 = 42?

C'mon you mathematical geniuses.....................
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Follow Up By: Wayne - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 20:24

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 20:24
Aaaarrgghhh................I can't remember, must be due to dig them out for another read! Although if I can catch a mouse.....................
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 08:47

Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 08:47
We ASSUME that the "42" relates to the way WE count (ie. the decimal system). As anyone these days knows with computers and such there are different number systems ("bases"), Decimal has 10 numerals (0 to 9) before you "overflow"into the next digit (10 +), similar for the Hexadecimal system that has 16 numerals (0-9, then A-F), and Binary has two numerals (0 and 1).

Now....we biased humans did not count for the fact(?) that there may be beings out there with (decimal) 13 fingers, logically for them leading to a number system with thirteen numerals (example 0-9, A-C). The "forty two" was not given with its relevant base so its true amount is not really clear (for an experiment try converting 42 from hex to decimal using the calculator available from the start menu, it should equal 66 decimal)

The Maths:

42 = 4 times their "base 13" + 2 extras.........(4 x 13) + 2 = 52 + 2 = 54....= 6 X 9!!!!!!(decimal)

Hope this makes sense...

Time to get some Brownian motion going for my Infinite Improbability Drive.....................

To those that haven't read the books/seen the video/listened to the radio program sorry for occupying your time, but if you get a chance to read the books they are hilariously funny, definitely offbeat, and strangely accurate (in all the astronomical distances/sizes/relationships of the celestial bodies) and can do strange things to the way you think (VERY lateral thinking!). Douglas Adams was a keen amateur astronomer with a very sick and twisted sense of humour. I've seen all 5 books bound as one volume for about $40 or so. GO FOR IT
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Follow Up By: ThePublican - Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 18:51

Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 18:51
Does the question or the answer // 6x9 // 42 // come into play when the whales decide to leave and rent out the planet to the darleks,,,oops,,thats Dr. Who to the rescue,,,, truth is we only exist in our own mindframe,,so my mind says " more scotch please ".
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Reply By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 23:39

Monday, Dec 01, 2003 at 23:39
In all honesty the initial premise that "the Universe is infinite" that is at fault. The Universe is very, very large, yes, but infinite, no. The space/time continuum is believed to be curved so that if you theoretically threw a ball in free space (away from gravity) it would eventually hit you in the back of the head in several billion years time.
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Follow Up By: ron1 - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 11:43

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 11:43
The Universe is very, very large, yes, but infinite, no.?? and u or any one else knows this as a fact because its a theory or fact? sorry not sure on who has made the tip to the end what was his or her name??
or did u mean as far as any one can guess, because in the end with out proof thats or it can be is a guess.:)
and my wife doesnt think im strange ,she says she knows i am, but then shes justbleepbecause on my list of things to take on a sailing trip ,i had the dog listed be4 her. i try to tell her mans best friend and all ,and that the dog barks when some ones coming ,she barks for any thing , but this didnt go down to well, come on babe let me back in the house , the dog smells and keeps sniffing my farts,was funny the first time till it through up on me :(
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Reply By: Brian - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 08:57

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 08:57
AHHHH.... The Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy... such imagination, such wit, and only four books in the Trilogy!!! Sad there wasn't a fifth...... did Marvin the Paranoid Android ever get "all the diodes down the left side of my body" replaced, or was he left in utter misery forever... "I'm not getting you down am i??? Hate to think I'm getting you down!!!!"

Douglas Adams.... Right up there with the Monty Python team for mine!!!!
Cheers
Brian
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Follow Up By: fj45ute - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 11:57

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 11:57
There was/is 5 books in the "increasing incorrectly named Hitchikers trilogy" the final book was "Mostly Harmless". But seeing as none of us actually exsist then I gues none of the books do either.

Cheers MAtt
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Follow Up By: Brian - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:12

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:12
Mostly Harmless???? I had not known that this book existed... a trip to the library will be in order...... perhaps on the way I should stop and order a jinnan tonix.... I believe the ingredients for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster are still foreign to Earth???
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:27

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:27
I think I'll wait until I get the "The Resturaunt at the End of the Universe" before I try a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, given their reputation!!!
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Follow Up By: Brian - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:33

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:33
Make sure you drink a few pints and eat some nuts before the journey....
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Reply By: Member - Peter (WA) - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 15:01

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 15:01
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOT SMOKING ????? PLEASE SEND ME SOME.......Born to drive a 4x4 , not a keyboard
Peter York 4x4
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Follow Up By: Wayne - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 15:25

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 15:25
I still think digital watches are pretty cool too. :-))))))
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Follow Up By: GaryInOz (Vic) - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 16:38

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 16:38
Damn, where is my towel????
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Follow Up By: Brian - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:14

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 19:14
Check under your Electronic Thumb.... it should be there.....
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Follow Up By: Wayne - Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 20:20

Tuesday, Dec 02, 2003 at 20:20
What a bunch of hoopy froods we are! :-))
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Follow Up By: ThePublican - Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 19:04

Wednesday, Dec 03, 2003 at 19:04
Smoking old memories.....
The novels; The hitchhihers guide to the galaxy.1979
The restaurant at the end of the universe.1980
Life,the universe and everything. 1982
So long, and thanks for all the fish. 1984

a triology in four parts,,ISBN 0 434 00920 2
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