What's the funniest thing you'd ever seen

Submitted: Monday, May 28, 2012 at 00:48
ThreadID: 95853 Views:2584 Replies:16 FollowUps:7
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Hi everyone
Just wanted to know if anyone has a story to tell with regard to the funniest thing you have ever seen on your travells?
I'm just gettin' bored sittin' around waiting for our trip date to come.

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Reply By: Ron N - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 01:06

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 01:06
The funniest thing I've ever seen, is - I was barrelling along a dirt road very early one morning, and disturbed a fox that was skulking in some roadside bushes.

He suddenly realised I was almost on top of him (I was fairly hooking, going to work, probably doing 120kmh) - and the fox took off, like a rocket was strapped to him (away from the road).
Just as he picked up full speed, a very unwise rabbit decided that the noise of my ute meant he had to take a dash from one rabbit hole to a safer rabbit hole!

Unfortunately, the rabbits path, in dashing from one hole to the next, took him right under the foxes nose! [:-0

Now, imagine a fox doing 50kmh going East to West - and rabbit doing 50kmh, going North to South - and they were on a collision course!!

The rabbits eyes got about twice as big as normal, and he scattered dirt in utter terror, as he tried an evasion move, and hugged the ground like an infantry soldier under mortar attack!!

The fox obviously couldn't believe his luck, and snapped with wide-open mouth at the rabbit - who by now, was obviously convinced he was dead! - but the fox missed!!

The rabbit kept pelting full bore, as the fox made a second, but futile lunge! The fox was very aware that this monster making all the noise was still approaching! - so he decided to forget all about the rabbit, and keep bolting, full speed ahead!

No doubt, the rabbit couldn't believe his luck, as he darted down his chosen bolt hole - and one fox dashed off, still hungry!! LOL

It was the funniest thing I've seen for a long time, and I'm always amused every time I think of the scenario again!
AnswerID: 486957

Reply By: Ray - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 07:34

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 07:34
One of the funniest things that I ever saw was in the wheat belt (WA) Where a wheat truck had spilled some wheat on the road. There were hundreds of pink and grey galas having a go at this. There were also a family of foxes, about six cubs and a vixen. The cubs were trying to catch the galas while the vixen just sat at the side of the road watching. None of the galas or foxes took any notice of me as I drove past.
AnswerID: 486964

Follow Up By: Member - Boo Boo (NSW) - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 08:25

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 08:25
Well my wife has no sense of humour.

Out on the Hay Plains about 30 yrs ago driving along in the rain and wifey can't wait to get to a rest area.

Stopped the car and out she jumped to answer the call of nature.

I slowly drove away and stopped 100 mtrs down the road.

She was not happy when she caught up to the car. I couldn't stop laughing.

Like I said no sense of humour until she had dried of a bit.

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Reply By: Member - John L (WA) - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 09:12

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 09:12
Carnarvon Gorge camp grounds. Car & caravan roar in, screech to a halt, out hops lady, chair & book, marches 50 mts away under tree, turns back on camp site & proceeds to read while hubby backs & fills, backs & fills, changes camp sites & finally sets up.
Lady closes book, folds up chair & marches up to caravan door opens same & disappears inside!
AnswerID: 486972

Reply By: franken - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 10:51

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 10:51
On road from Katanning to Gnowangerup, flock of ducks picking at grain (harvest time) on LHS of road. All but one take flight as we approach. Last one finally takes off heading from the LHS across the road into middle of lane as we approach. Just as the top of the roo bar is about to collect him, he turns his head and looks behind him. The look of shock on a ducks face I will never forget. You could see his though process go "Oh sh_t!, drop the ballast!" as he then offloaded the entire contents of his bowels diagonally across the bonnet, over the windscreen and the corner of the roof as he must have just collected the slipstream and avoided getting hit. Wagon load of us cried with laughter the rest of the journey, and intermittently since then whenever I bring to mind the look on that lucky ducks face.

by the way, I think grain gives ducks diarrohea!
AnswerID: 486981

Follow Up By: Member - KYLE S - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:20

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:20
Hooting along the road between Swan Reach and Loxton SA coming on dusk.
Saw something black on the road ahead but at speed to late to brake.
As I got closer realized it was a pair of crows laying on the warm tarmac courting, I presume. Anyway went straight over the top of them stopped ASAP and looked back. Both birds were OK and hadn't moved no tell tale feathers on the breeze. Clearly they were OK. Supporting the expression love is blind. However, given it was very quiet I swear I heard on of the pair say to the other "what the F#@& was that"
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Reply By: Member - Dirt Princess - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:48

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:48
My Son told an Irish Backpacker that Galahs swoop. Should have seen him when a whole flock was heading towards him.
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Follow Up By: Member - Dirt Princess - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:49

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:49
Stories are great keep 'em coming. ROL
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Follow Up By: Marny - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:59

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:59
On a weekend trip to White Cliffs for the Gymkahana we were all standing at the bar talking rubbish when a drunken friend decides that he will do dares for rums. After a while the cattle prod comes out and he declares that he will take one to the testicles for a bottle of rum. The bartender decides to back the bet. pants were dropped and he bent over. other mate with the prodder wasted no time in jamming the prod into its intended targets. I have never seen a man stand up so straight so quickley nor laughed so hard in my life! Poor bloke was walking funny for the next few days and made the comment "not sure if it was worth it" Cheers
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Reply By: Member - bill f (QLD) - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:54

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:54
Many years ago while escorting my parents around the Atherton Tableland (nostagla trip for mum) passing through a patch of rainforest a scrub turkey flew out & became caught under the sun visor. Now my father was always partial to one for dinner. It was right in front of him (driving) & as he reached around to try to grab it his foot would slip on the accelator & we would slow down. The bird would slip so speed up to keep it pinned. The look of frustration on his face was priceless. After 3 speed up & slow downs he gave up & no turkey that night. Bill



AnswerID: 486987

Reply By: Member - Cruiser74 - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 14:16

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 14:16
Great stories,

I have 2!

1. Driving to Perth from Margaret River one wet and wooly evening via South West Highway I had a very impatient Celica tailgating me, coming up behind me with high beams on, dropping off, speeding up and just being a general nuisance. When I slowed right down and casually gave him the opportunity to overtake he did so like an absolute lunatic and barely missed clipping my bumper as he screamed out from the lane I was in to go past me. Anyway, from memory it was quite late on a weekday night and there was not much traffic on the road. You can imagine my delight then as about 20 mins later I approached a Celica with it's hazard lights on, smoke billowing from the bonnet and a very drenched IDIOT trying to wave me down for help. I teased him by slowing right down and then driving off again. Total and utter satisfaction!

2. on our first 4 x 4 trip together, my girlfriend and I were lost somewhere down near Jasper Lake in the D'entrecasteux national park. She had been complaining about how her seat bealt was uncomfortable and how she didn't want to wear it. I refused to drive anywhere unless she put it on but at one point, after getting in and out of the vehicle, reading maps, changing tyre pressures etc I had overlooked the fact she wasn't wearing it. We headed off down a particularly soft section of track and was doing about 20kph when I misjudged a big dip in the sand and the whole car BOUNCED. The vision of her being launched skyward from her seat only to be stopped abruptly by the roof was hysterically funny, not to mention the terrified look on her face. It was only funny as she was unhurt but the vehicle delivered a lesson that I had previously failed to in such a way that provided me with immense entertainment. Needless to say she ALWAYS wears her belt now no matter how uncomfortable!

Cheers
AnswerID: 486996

Reply By: ferris - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 15:52

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 15:52
One mothers day, the girls decided they would like a family day out in the Wyperfield NP, so five or six families loaded up our fourbies, bbq gear and around a dozen or so teenagers and headed out into the scrub for a general explore and bit of 4 wheel driving. After about 3 hours or so, the kids were really bored and telling us so, very loudly. That was until the lead car spotted two kangaroos mating and we all drove to within 30 metres of them. You can imagine 6 car loads of kids and the conversation this generated. There were absolute hysterics when the buck finished his business, pushed the female over and hopped away. Apparently this is not the done thing for a gentleman to do. Anybody listening to our radio channel for about the next hour and half would have thought we were the most depraved and perverted people going around. Perhaps we were.
AnswerID: 486997

Reply By: Ron N - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 17:52

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 17:52
The old man used to own an old (late 1930's) 10HP Fordson van in the mid- 1950's. This van had "suicide" (rear-hinged) doors.
The neighbour to our dairy farm was an older Italian market gardener gentleman who owned a red heeler.
Now this red heeler was a terror for chasing car front wheels and trying to bite them. He'd sit and wait, crouching, for the old man to come down the road in the Fordson van, and as soon as the van got level with the market gardeners driveway, this dog would launch himself at the van's front wheel, snapping at the wheel, and barking, and carrying on a fit.
The old man was a real animal lover, but he couldn't stand animals with bad habits, and always set out to cure them.
One day, he lined the dog up, as the dog lined him up - and as the dog got to the front wheel and started snapping and barking - the old man flung the drivers door open and leaned out.
The dogs tail was just neatly within reach at the front of the door opening, and the old man reached out and grabbed the dog by the tail, and promptly started dragging him up the (dirt) road backwards (only doing about 25 kmh).
Well! The performance could be heard a km away, as the dog yelped and yiked and yiked - fully convinced the car had bitten back!!
The old man let him go after about 5 or 6 seconds, and the dog took off, and wasn't seen for the rest of the day!
The next time the old man drove down the road, the dog just sat in the driveway and watched him go past!
He was cured of wheel chasing and wheel biting for good! [;-)
AnswerID: 487023

Reply By: Member - VickiW - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 19:22

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 19:22
Wonderful thread and difficult to limit to one. But here are 2 that come to mind.

We were camped by Lake Gairdner with no one in sight. Hubbie decided to go for a bike ride across the salt to the other side. I sat there having a cuppa, reading & occasionally looking up to see if I could see him. I spotted him on the way back , and an emu also heading across on another angle. Watched very interested until they reached within a few metres of each other, looked up, gave each other a fright & both headed off in different directions.

Another.. we arrived at camp near Redbank in West Macs. I went off for a bit of a walk to stretch legs after we were set up. On the way back I ran into a couple _ the husband giving a bucket sponge bath to the wife - I'm not sure who was more embarrassed - them or me!
AnswerID: 487032

Reply By: ed c1 - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 20:21

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 20:21
the people camped next to us had a big fight one night and the next morning i spotted the wife filling the water tank of the van from a ten liter bright red container,,which had printed on the side in big white writing POISON,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,funny now but at the time i thought she was fair dinkem....they still camp along side us each year and they still fight....
AnswerID: 487038

Reply By: Ron N - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 21:22

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 21:22
This story sounds like utter BS, and unbelievable - but I'll swear on a stack of Bibles it's true, because I was there!
We were camped at the Ida H mine, just a few kms from Burtville (just SE of Laverton, W.A.), re-treating the tailings from the mine in the late 1980's.
We had two 28' Viscount vans with annexes set up for a camp, along with some seatainers for a workshop and other equipment.

The eldest nephew had a little blue heeler called Rocky (because he was about as tough and mean as Rocky Marciano).
Rockys favorite stunt was to sit inside the nephews ute, watch for people coming past, then duck down - then launch himself through the window, going GRRAARRRRRRR!! - SNAP!! - right in the persons face!
People used to utterly crap themselves when he did it, and he got me several times.

There was a big Bungarra that used to hang around the camp, and look for food around the campfire. He was a decent size, probably about 1.3-1.4M from nose to tail.
He got pretty bold and would sit under one of the vans, and come up to within a few metres of us.
However, any time Rocky spotted him, he'd be off, barking at him and chasing him. The Bungarra would normally zip off at speed, and shoot down a nearby burrow, leaving the dog barking and frustrated.

Then came the day, Rocky spotted the Bungarra out in the open, away from the 'vans and his burrows. Rocky took off at light warp speed, barking in excitement - and so did the Bungarra.
The Bungarra made for a low hill about 200M from the camp, where there were some stunted Mulgas.
The Bungarra made straight for a Mulga, shot straight up it, and ran out onto an overhanging, spindly limb, that bowed under his weight.

Rocky parked himself under the Mulga branch, that the Bungarra was hanging off, about 2.5-2.8M up, and commenced barking excitedly for about 5 or 10 mins., trying to get the Bungarra to jump out, so he could chase him again.

Well, the Bungarra jumped, alright. He waited until Rocky was taking a breather from barking and was looking back at us (we were all watching to see what was going to happen) - then he took a neat leap, and landed right on Rockys back, like a jockey in the Melbourne Cup!!

What got even funnier then, was that the Bungarra stayed there, in that "jockey" position, by digging his claws into Rockys back!!

Well, Rocky went berserk! He yiked and yelped, and took off running through the low scrub, like a horse let out of the barrier at the start of the Cup!

And the Bungarra rode him like Damien Oliver on the winner in the Cup! It was absolutely hilarious, watching this Bungarra hanging on for grim death like a jockey, while the dog barrelled at full speed through the scrub, yiking and yelping, and trying to dislodge the goanna!

We were rolling about killing ourselves with laughter! It was unbelieveable how this Bungarra parked himself and hung on!

Finally, after about 20-30 seconds, the Bungarra decided he'd had enough, so he bailed out and jumped off, and tore off through the scrub.
Rocky turned tail for home and crawled under the caravan, looking decidedly stupid and embarrassed!
He never chased any Bungarras again, I can tell you that much!

I would not have believed a Bungarra would jump onto a dogs back so neatly, and actually stay there. I've heard stories about them running up people standing still.
I know how fearless they can get, I've seen them act like little crocodiles, huffing and puffing, and standing up aggressively, and even attacking and biting people on the boots. They can bite and scratch and kick like fury.

However, I wouldn't have believed a Bungarra would hang on and ride a dog like a jockey, like this one did.
It was one of those moments one wished one had a camera on hand, to record it for posterity.
AnswerID: 487046

Follow Up By: Member - Dirt Princess - Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 19:45

Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 19:45
Funny story Ron, reminds me of Henry Lawson's great story "The Loaded Dog". Life is definately like a box of chocolates full of surprises.
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Reply By: NTVRX - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 23:49

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 23:49
Years ago camping at Fry's Flat in the Victoria High Country we were with a couple.....Let's call them P & J. Well, they prided themselves on doing all the bushman things like, sleeping in their swag in the tent & all that tough "bushie" stuff. We had our camp set up with a very nice shower,toilet & kitchen. The shower was a heat exchanger on the Toyota & worked a treat. Well, J wanted a shower & being a SWMBO instructed Grumpy....sorry I mean P, to rig up a shower & make sure it was a proper outdoor "roughie"....you know the style....the old Army rosette bag shower over a tree branch & away you go. Now privacy was a bit of an issue so J insisted on a plastic tarp being strategically placed so that anyone entering Fry's flat by vehicle or foot would not see the lovely J having her shower. Everything was going to plan as J lathered up & even started humming a few notes from the Man from Snowy River theme....ahhh bush camping at it's roughest. The very next thing we heard was a hell of a lot of whistling & yah hooing. We all turned & saw about 50 horse riders on a Stoney's ride along the opposite bank of the Howqua river....they had all stopped and were applauding the rear view of the lovely J showering.....and to her credit & not to be rude because she had her back to them she turned around....confronted them front on wondering what all the commotion was...well....with the improved view the trail riders went into hysterics & poor J didn't have a face washer to cover up but eventually realised that a rear view of her was far more lady like than a full frontal. Well, we were all in hysterics as poor old P was ostracised for only partially tarping the "Bush shower area"
AnswerID: 487059

Reply By: SDG - Monday, May 28, 2012 at 23:50

Monday, May 28, 2012 at 23:50
One year while going to a bike rally, I decided to come prepared with a joke.
as i often just opened a tin of something for a meal, I had decided to swap the label from my cassorole, to dog food.

Several people saw me open a can of dog food, empty it in a saucepan to heat, then eat. These same people turn a funny shade of green, with one leaving the area very quickly.

Several knew what I had done, and to play on it, one came over a gave me a big kiss.
Again a few people turned green.



I'm afraid one day this joke will backfire on me and I will open the wrong tin.
AnswerID: 487060

Follow Up By: Ron N - Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 13:42

Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 13:42
SDG - That's the old Max Walker joke variation, eh? You know, the one where he's on a plane, and takes a small poptop can of Two Fruits with him?
He grabs a sick bag in full view of a hostie, and pretends to heave up loudly and extensively into the bag.

After he's "finished", he asks the sympathetic hostie for a spoon? Once she's out of sight, Max pops the top on the can, and empties it into the (clean) sick bag!
The hostie returns with the spoon - Max promptly dives into the bag and starts to shovel the Two Fruits into his mouth, eating it noisily and loudly!

They reckon the hostie is the one that needs a sick bag, then!! LOL
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Follow Up By: SDG - Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 17:37

Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 17:37
Have not seen that, but it has now given me a new idea.
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Reply By: NTVRX - Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 00:13

Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 00:13
Sorry to hog the show but as they say, "When your hot" When I was a young man a friend took me into the Rose River area of Victoria. The Uncle & Aunt of my friend owned a fair share of land which had been in the family for a long time. Known as "Bennies" we stayed in the old fisherman huts & had our meals at the homestead. One day we were all out helping clear a lot of debris from the Rose River not far from camp. Some fencing had been destroyed and a certain wombat was named as being the culprit. Now FB as he was affectionately known had ben a naughty wombat before and had actually been shot at, hit with the Willys Jeep & threatened by all and sundry. This day a plan was hatched. If FB, the wombat, was sighted my friend was instructed to follow FB and as the wombat kicked backwards with his back legs on entering his burrow my mate was to grab FB by the back legs pull FB out of the hole & my friends Dad would then shoot FB. Well all went to plan and as we followed FB to his hole at a blistering pace, my mate was ready. Sleeves rolled up and ready to grab the wombats rear legs. In the hole goes the wombat my mate lurches forward,thrusting eagerly to grab wombats legs. Well he missed & instead of a wombat he produce one of his hands with black wombat poo encased over his index finger. Boy, didn't it stink. Well he washed his hands & we were in uncontrollable laughter. To put a good ending to this endeavour that wombat had been shot at,rocks thrown at him, hit with the jeep but a finger up the backside was the last straw for FB, that wombat was never seen again!!
AnswerID: 487062

Reply By: Rockape - Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 08:14

Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 08:14
About 15 years ago on fellow worker played a bit of a joke on us.

Well revenge is a great past time.

The plot was. Drill a small hole in the corner of his donga under his bedside table at the head of his bed. Run a small concealed tube up up a irrigation nozzle on the end and point it at his pillow, then hook it into the sprinkler system.

Now all we had to do was set the sprinklers to come on at 2 in the morning.

With that done about 1.30 we setup deck chairs in front of his room but not before placing a very large cow pat in his door way.

All went to plan. The bellow that came out of that room was like a pig stuck under an electric fence and as he sort relief from the spray he rushed out of the room and put his foot right on the cow pat. I can still see it squishing up through his toes.
AnswerID: 487072

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