Tragic end

Submitted: Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 07:45
ThreadID: 99905 Views:2907 Replies:7 FollowUps:15
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For parents and grandparents of teenagers this is the story of one of those young girls killed in that crash in Brisbane.

There seems to be no answer to this end.

The story

Have a safe one,
RA.
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Reply By: Lyn W3 - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 09:31

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 09:31
Yep,

Read that this morning, tragic for all involved but.......................

to quote from your "sharing the road" thread and sorry to be so blunt ..................


"Unfortunately you can’t counter stupidity despite the best efforts of the road safety authorities and manufactures."

One has to ask the question:

Do you know where your 16 year old kid is at 3:00am, who has a history of joyriding, while you are holidaying in Sydney?




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Reply By: ben_gv3 - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 12:05

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 12:05
Having read the story she had a history of car theft, skipping school, being with the wrong type of friends etc, and even her parents were worried about tragic consequences eventuating.

Yes the parents tried to get her help but there's no sympathy from me and I'm just thankful no innocent people were caught up in the accident.
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Follow Up By: pop2jocem - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 12:28

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 12:28
ben,

Your reply appeared while I was thinking how to phrase a reply so as not to appear too callous or even if I should just let it slide and keep my thoughts to myself.
As a father of three, Father-in Law to three more and grandfather to six beautiful grand kids, not to mention extended family and friends my thought are as follows.
Firstly it appears from personal observation and thinking back to my teenage years,to varying degrees teenagers have a mindset that refuses to accept that they are not "10 feet tall and bullet proof".
Some even seem to have a built in "self destruct" mechanism. It sounds like this young girl came from a loving family that tried to correct or at least protect her from those tendencies, unfortunately unsuccessfully in the end.
I can only take comfort from the fact that in this instance, hers, or the actions of the other girl involved, did not result in the death or injury to any of mine.

Pop
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Follow Up By: Gramps - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 14:04

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 14:04
Ben/Pop,

Yep, a tragedy but not totally unexpected.



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Follow Up By: Peter K20 - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 16:40

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 16:40
Wow Ben what an incredible thing to say. If you have nothing decent, polite or respectful you shouldn't say anything. A young girl died, lots of kids play up and go through phases . Some go on and lead great lives - some don't. Maybe You should go and spend a few hours with those who don't have it as good as you. Everyone has a story - not always great. I hope i never have the misfortune to meet you.
Mods please delete my guest account - I do not wish to revisit
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Follow Up By: Member - Craig F (WA) - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:45

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:45
Peter,
This story plays out every week around Australia.
Yes it is sad that she died.
On a positive they didnt take out somebody driving to work to support his/her family taking their kids to school, football etc.
AND as sad as it is she will never be on the roads again endangering inocent people going about their buisness.

I as a parent feel for the family. But my primary roll is to protect mine.
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Follow Up By: Member - Boo Boo (NSW) - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:52

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:52
Peter

Ben like you is entitled to air his opinion. You are entitled to disagree, but there really isn't any need to take the high moral ground. I read his post and he wasn't rude, or disrespectful.

I think his main concern was that no other person was maimed or kill, especially someone he knows.

Peter if you want to disagree with someone perhaps you could do it in a rational, considered way rather than emotive.

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Follow Up By: Member - Boo Boo (NSW) - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:58

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:58
Peter

My humble apologies.

I got my follow ups confused. I was refering to Pops reply.

His I thought was not offensive.

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Follow Up By: Member - wadams - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 22:28

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 22:28
To Ben, and Gramps, As the father and stepfather of five children plus six grandchildren I totally agree with Peter K20.
Unlike Peter though, I would love to have the fortune to meet you and discuss the morals and ethics of your pathetic, simplistic views and lack of empathy and/or compassion for all those who have suffered from this tragic accident. I just hope you both never have to attend an accident as an SES member or a Volunteer Firefighter and be first on the scene to help out. I also pray that it may not be one of your loved ones and have to experience what these poor families have to go through.
Either of you are welcome to email me and discuss this further.
I feel terribly sorry for both of you.

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Follow Up By: Gramps - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:01

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:01
Wadams,

Interesting you should take offence at my comment given some others in this thread. My comment was

“Ben/Pop,
Yep, a tragedy but not totally unexpected.”


“Yep, a tragedy” - what is your problem with that ? It was a tragedy and I acknowledged it.


“ but not totally unexpected” - if you bothered to read the article linked by Rockape it's not difficult to understand that the parents feared the worst if the young lady's behaviour did not change. They called in the Police to try and scare her for pity's sake.


As for “I would love to have the fortune to meet you and discuss the morals and ethics of your pathetic, simplistic views and lack of empathy and/or compassion for all those who have suffered from this tragic accident”, don't make me laugh. Was that supposed to be a thinly veiled threat ?


There's already been one apology in this thread, are you man enough to admit your mistake?


Regards
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Follow Up By: Member - wadams - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:41

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:41
Gramps,
Yes I am man enough to apologise, however, in this instance, in my opinion I don't feel I have the need to. As I said, I just feel that your comment was simplistic and lacked compassion.
No thinly veiled threat was intended, just an opportunity for dialogue.

Cheers.

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Follow Up By: Gramps - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:57

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:57
wadams,

Hahaha did'nt think you were. Careful backtracking you might fall into the hole you just dug.

Regards
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Reply By: Rockape - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:39

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 17:39
I will not comment on this incident or the parents of the girls, unless I think I have a solution or answer to this.

I posted so parents and grandparents maybe able to avert a tragedy in their and their children's lives.

I know only to well how strong headed and uncontrollable a teenager can be. Sometimes you don't know if you will see them alive when you wake up in the morning.

My oldest has survived the ruination of Methamphetamine and depression. Those scars will stay with him for the rest of his life.

I would just like to find a solution for what is plainly happening to young ones. It has always happened even when we were all young but know it is becoming a common occurrence.

For those who have no sympathy. I hope your god looks after you, because one day you may face something similar.

Always remember when children are born they can be completely different. One good and one not so good.

RA.




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Follow Up By: Member - wadams - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 22:50

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 22:50
Rockape, I agree entirely with what you said.
My solution, for what it is worth is to continue to teach our children and grandchildren the codes of morals, ethics, respect for others and discipline that we were taught as kids in a much more simplistic(and in my opinion, better) world. I have just had my grandaughter (12 yr old) from Brisbane staying with us in far north SA for two weeks. I was truly amazed, astounded and flabbergasted at how little, as a city girl she knew about the bush. For instance, we don't lock the house, we leave our keys in the car when we shop,wave to each other on the road, and say g'day to each other when we pass in the street. Know all our neighbours in the whole street and other streets as well etc etc. I am sure you get the message. We were taught respect for others, morals and ethics, compassion, love thy neighbour and all the rest and if you broke these codes, God help you.
You just have to convince the so called 'do-gooders' in this world that it would be a lot better if we went back to the old days.
But then again. as a 'young' grandpa I grew up in the 'good old days'
Cheers

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Follow Up By: Lyn W3 - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 14:21

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 14:21
So you want to go back to the "good old days"........

The road toll was more than twice it is now
Injuries were far more severe
Drink driving rules were practically non existent
Cross ply tires were the standard
No seatbelts
Reported crimes were a third more than now.

Without the "do-gooders" I just wonder where we would be now.

Go back to the "good old days" not for me thanks

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Reply By: Meridith D - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 19:06

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 19:06
My younger daughter is 19 and has experienced 3 of her schoolmates/friends killed in vehicle accidents.

She and her boyfriend unwittingly came across the aftermath of her boyfriend's best mate killed in a motorbike accident around the corner from our home. She recognises this bike rider was a young man with a lot of risk-taking behaviours. We were even talking last night that it was only a matter of time before something terrible happened and he has changed the lives of those involved in the accident and his friends.

Very sad all round, the only benefit is that she is a very cautious driver.
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Reply By: Robtbob NSW - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 19:10

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 19:10
I've been to a lot of accidents and they are always sorry after they kill a mate.
Just how you get it thru to a driver that driving someone around is a great responsibility.
It takes a lot of work to get a baby to a teenager, only to loose that person from one stupid act.
AnswerID: 502164

Reply By: Member - eighty matey - Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 21:57

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013 at 21:57
I don't know how many have seen this Graphic VicTAC advertisement.. The video is really well made but very graphic.

My son reposted it again on Facebook today to keep the subject in people's minds.

When I was 17 to 20 I was an idiot on the roads. It was only the monetary cost of Police, Courts and Solicitors that slowed me down.

When my son was about 18 he went through the same thing.

We were both really lucky that we didn't kill ourselves, or anyone else.

The thing is we are not isolated cases. I reckon there's a large percentage of people go through that stage, some don't grow out of it and some don't survive it.

So many people are constantly putting in a 100% effort to prevent young people harming themselves and their friends in vehicular accidents. It happens all the time but at a reducing rate.

Steve.
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Follow Up By: Member - ACD 1 - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:47

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 12:47
WOW!

Thanks Steve for bringing this to our attention.

Yes, very graphic but not to the point of sensationalism.

As a Volunteer Firefighter and Ambo many emotions bought back.

Appreciate your honesty in your reply! One of the most difficult things to do is be honest about ourselves. I am sure all of us have been idiots ant one time - fortunately I survived.

These adds should be compulsory viewing for everybody getting a licence (regardless of age) with a refresher every now and then.

What can we do to stop our young people dying on our roads - it always seems to be the 18 - 26 year olds.

Be safe!

Anthony
VKS 3539
Work - a 40 hour interuption to my weekend!
Too many places - too little time

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Follow Up By: Les - PK Ranger - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 13:30

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 13:30
Yeah Steve, that's a hard hitting vid, but it should be compulsory viewing . . . not only by young drivers, but all.

Here's another one that it's hard to view without a tear coming to the eye.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9krX9fHAfHM
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Reply By: Member - Dirt Princess - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 14:51

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 14:51
Hi all
Just wanted to put in my two bobs worth. I have two daughters who were bought up with the morals and discipline, respect for themselves and others etc. The youngest one was the perfect child, always helpful, well behaved and studious etc until she hit puberty. She had turned into this horrible person we never knew existed. Becoming rebellious she followed her older sister into the world of drugs. Now the older one was sneaky about the habit. So sneaky infact I never found out until the younger one started using. The younger one became stronger in will and was straight out with it by saying, "yeah, I'm doing drugs and what are you going to do about it" much to my horror. So we set about to change that situation and thanking God both girls came of their drugs after 8 years of heart renching, worrying, fighting, communication, late nights, interupted nights etc you get the picture. Anyway they are clean now and have been clean for 3 years. My point is that no matter how you bring them up when drugs enters the arena they become someone else. They become very selfish, very secretive and sometimes very aggresive. When my youngest told me of the things she did when she was on drugs I could not understand why she would even contemplate those things let alone even doing them. Her response was." It was the drugs mum, I just didnt give a damn, I didn't care about myself or others therefore nothing was worth being responsible for except drugs." Unfortunately she fell prey to seeing others do things and get away with it and survive so she thought she would. And she did. So those young impressionable teens growing up listening to conversations at school, at parties etc are going to make the very same decisions. There will be very little we as parents can do about it but not totally nothing. Every little bit helps in some way.
Oh by the way I am not suggesting in any way, shape or form that these two girls were doing drugs what I am saying is that the invincibility factor or the dont give a damn factor is a sidefactor of what drugs are doing in our society. Changing the way our children think about and the way they are treating and living life.
Well that's my opinion.
Dirt
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Follow Up By: Rockape - Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 16:15

Friday, Jan 11, 2013 at 16:15
Princess (I can't call you Dirt),

Very well put together. That is exactly how it all comes about and you just live in the land of hope and dread.

It does not matter one bit what sort of socio economic background the kids have had. Drugs bring everyone back to a level playing field. Those who have no empathy be careful, that loving little child can turn into a monster overnight with no regard for their or anybody else's lives. Alcohol also makes them 10 feet tall and bullet proof.

We have been lucky in that my daughter was in rock bands from the age of 18 and she is still a professional singer and muso 25 years later.

Luckily she rejected the drugs and there were plenty of them around. The youngest saw what they did to his brother and stayed away from them also.

The oldest, well he still struggles not with drugs as he is clean, but with the damage they have done will be with him for the rest of his life.

Good to hear the girls are ok.

RA.

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