The ultimate garage?

Submitted: Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 08:18
ThreadID: 21202 Views:2359 Replies:10 FollowUps:6
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Not my idea of the ultimate shed, but shows what can be done if you're a seppo with entirely too much money and time on your hands.

I'm working on an 'enhancement package' for the poor misguided fool. It includes a noisy old Frigidaire beer fridge tucked in to the corner entirely covered in Holley and Edlebrock stickers, a dusty flyspecked 1987 Pirelli calendar nailed to the wall and some mismatched orange and green vinyl kitchen chairs you scored from Nan with foam hanging out the seats for your mates when they come over to 'offer assistance'. To add to the 'technical' feel of the workshop, a faded Rellim chart should be conspicuously nailed to the door of an old wardrobe (where you keep those dried up cans of paint) so you know the valve clearances for a 1947 Wolsey (measured in empirical fathoms) at a glance.

Don't forget the pile of dogeared 1970's Mayfairs and Penthouse mags stashed under the XY Falcon workhop manual and finally an old free standing cement laundry trough outside with a leaky brass tap that is filthy except for the shiny handle and a 20l drum of 'swarfega' handcleaner your mate knocked off from work in 1992 with a crusty wooden stick poking through a hole banged in the lid with a cold chisel to get just the right amount of stuff out.

Any other enhancement ideas?
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Reply By: Member - iMusty(VIC) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 08:37

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 08:37
Numberplate!

Got to have an old black and white plate nailed to the wall and perhaps a girlie calender. Nothing to flash mind you. One that resembles a Chiko Roll poster.
AnswerID: 102332

Reply By: Michael ( Moss Vale NSW) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 10:52

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 10:52
And how many fools over the years have told you, "Money can't buy you happiness".!!!
Patrol 4.2TDi 2003

Retired 2016 and now Out and About!

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Get out and do something instead!

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AnswerID: 102342

Reply By: BenSpoon - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 12:04

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 12:04
He's overlooked key ingredients: No 30-degree ramp, no forklift, no test track.. unless thats what the waterfall section is for..

Enhancements: a rack with the dustiest greasiest ceramic mugs you can find, some printed with name horroscopes for people that will never see them, and an XY GT part or two hung off the wall. An unknown mag wheel used as a hose hanger next to that clean-handled tap wouldnt go astray either.

It shows i've got a lot to learn: Im still using half a bent coat hanger instead of your soap dispensing stick in that 20l drum.
AnswerID: 102347

Follow Up By: V8Diesel - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 12:53

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 12:53
The hose has to have a split in it that someone's tried to repair with leccy tape too.
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FollowupID: 360098

Reply By: V8Diesel - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 12:49

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 12:49
Forgot to mention the important area tucked away between the fence and the shed where bald tyres, old oil drums, blown gearboxes and spare doors go to die. Don't forget the old Philco 28" back pedal brake bike with no seat and perished tyres leaning against the fence with grass growing through the spokes.

Most important aspect of this area is the overwhelming pong of urine, an open container of diff oil mixed with rainwater and bugs and the occasional spew.
AnswerID: 102354

Follow Up By: Member - iMusty(VIC) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:20

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:20
And of course the all important BIGGER THAN NESSESARY, KICK ASSSE, MOTHER OF THEM ALL... TAPE DECK/AM/FM RADIO!

... with broken door, built in LED graphic equalizer some mullet head (sister balling) mate keeps tuned to 92.3 EON FM.

Naturally the only way to turn it OFF and ON is to disconnect it from the (cracked) double adapter and lead which runs out from the house under a constantly banging fly-wire door.
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FollowupID: 360099

Follow Up By: V8Diesel - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:28

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:28
"... with broken door, built in LED graphic equalizer some mullet head (sister balling) mate keeps tuned to 92.3 EON FM." (PMFM here)

GOLD!
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FollowupID: 360100

Follow Up By: Member - Jimbo (VIC) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:28

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:28
92.3 EON FM ???

Geez you're showing your age there.
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FollowupID: 360101

Follow Up By: Member - Jeff M (WA) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 19:27

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 19:27
ROTFLMAO, I just changed the front Diff oil on the surf on the weekend,bleepme, if the smell of old diff oil and urine wasn't bad enough in that little space between the shed and the fence (I have one of those!!) I also mixed the old diesel engine oil in the same drip tray as the diff oil, holey crap it's prutred!
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FollowupID: 360145

Reply By: GOB & denny vic member - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:27

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 13:27
please santa can i just have the money spent on the garage ????????
i promise i will be good OR bad whatever it takes

steve
AnswerID: 102360

Reply By: geocacher (djcache) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 15:00

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 15:00
It's too bloody clean and there aren't any four wheel drives.

Ultimate garage also needs a potbelly stove and an airconditioner.

What sort of dill puts a wash bay with a dirty great pressure washer inside???

Dave
AnswerID: 102368

Follow Up By: Member - iMusty(VIC) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 15:13

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 15:13
My mullet haired mate balled my sister in an air-conditioned car and she ended up with a potbelly...
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FollowupID: 360121

Reply By: Sand Man (SA) - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 16:22

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 16:22
There is two "essentials" missing.

A hydraulic hoist and a live-in mechanic.
Bill


I'm diagonally parked in a parallel Universe!

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AnswerID: 102376

Reply By: Eric from Cape York Connections - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 17:53

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 17:53
V8 about 6 years ago we built a garage with a mezanine floor in it with a lift so the fellow could put his collection of harleys up there.
I thought that was fancy.

all the best
Eric
AnswerID: 102385

Reply By: Bob of KAOS - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 17:56

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 17:56
V8D
classic! How about the sharpening wheel which is driven by a big handle, or even more quaint, an external water wheel driven by turning on a hose directed at the vanes on the wheel.
The urinal described sounds a bit crude. A riser pipe connected to the storm water drain is more elegant.
Several old wirelesses dating back to the 1930's just waiting until you have time to repair them.
AnswerID: 102386

Reply By: W.A.Dik - Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 18:22

Monday, Mar 14, 2005 at 18:22
Yeh a beut garage, no heart, full of imported cars, no visible dodgy old oxy set, no girly/truck/4WD/ drag car posters, and where's the bloody dart board ? There is so much white seemless wall, I reckon he's got the hydro kit/speed factory in a conceled cavity, drug dealing swine. I know if my mates had a shed that big, thats what would be going on.
AnswerID: 102390

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