Moving back to the city (Off topic thread)

What do your wife and children think about such a move?

Mike Harding

Prepare for traffic lights...
That and driving half an hour to your closest mate...

Troy35
Have you thought about housesitting (both ways) for six months or so?
eerfree

mate...big move hey!

I have travelled all the states in OZ except NT. I lived in Perth from 1970 to 1999 and then went to the southwest with the family. Currently we are in the Gascoyne and love it but have only been here 1 year. If I had to live and work here for the next 15 years, I don't think I'd be looking at it in the same light though.

And to me, that's the whole point. If your happy where you are, stay. If you have inchy feet and can see positives in your move, give it a go. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT TO LOSE? is the question I ask myself.

You can always come back...can't you?

I have kids your age too. They will miss the friends they have made but will make just as many at the next place. New schools are scary but they get over it.

Home is where ever you make it, with family around you will feel supported in Melbourne and if it doesn't work out, there's always Broome! and thousands of other places.

Again, to me it's all about the question "what do I have to lose?" depending on how you feel about the answer, gives you your answer.

The 1st time I moved from a 'long term' home I was forced to. When I look back it was the best thing that ever happened for me and the family.

Don't know if this in any good to you or not but I can feel your 'concerns' in question. Just as I did when forced to go about 6 years ago.

Good luck.

Troy35
Sorry I posted, I did mean to upset you,it was only a suggestion.
eerfree

One thing that my affect your kids is the radical climate difference, acclimatisation can take (literally) several years and is not a particularly pleasant experience (novetly for the first 3-6 months, then just a PITA). Educate your kids on the different climate (holiday in winter maybe) and set aside a considerable amount of money for new clothes (not something you would normally consider when moving). My guess is tey would not have experienced the need for coats and heaters before, let alone nightime temps of 4-6 degrees with daytime highs of 15-18 during winter. It is a big ask.........

Big city "street-wise" help/advice/education would be advised for your kids (assuming you have teenagers) as their effective naivety in large cities could lead them into trouble without them knowing.

As for rents being cheaper you would be looking at ~$300-350 for a 3 BR house in Cranbourne, 45 km from CBD (1-1 1/4 hr on a good run).

One thing that my affect your kids is the radical climate difference, acclimatisation can take (literally) several years and is not a particularly pleasant experience (novetly for the first 3-6 months, then just a PITA). Educate your kids on the different climate (holiday in winter maybe) and set aside a considerable amount of money for new clothes (not something you would normally consider when moving). My guess is they would not have experienced the need for coats and heaters before, let alone nightime temps of 4-6 degrees with daytime highs of 15-18 during winter. It is a big ask.........

Big city "street-wise" help/advice/education would be advised for your kids (assuming you have teenagers) as their effective naivety in large cities could lead them into trouble without them knowing.

As for rents being cheaper you would be looking at ~$300-350 for a 3 BR house in Cranbourne, 45 km from CBD (1-1 1/4 hr on a good run).

Troy,
approx. 32 yrs ago, the mrs & I kind of um, "eloped" from Tropical Nth Q'ld to s.w. WA.... (about as far away as we could get!!)....
Spent a few months in Merredin before finding ourselves on a sheep/cattle/grain property approx.100km east of Esperance where we spent the next 12 1/2 yrs, & between the yrs 1974 to '81 had 4 kids.... We hadn't originally planned to stay in WA for too long (just until the "heat" died down;-))), but being in a job that I liked, made it difficult to leave, not to mention that havin' young kids kinda "ties ya down"....
We managed to make it "home" (to Q'ld) for hols in 1980, & again in '84/5, so, as in your case, our kids saw very little of their grandparents or any other relatives...

In the late '80's I got a job just out of Albany which I liked even better, but we were still missing family, so we had to decide before the kids got much older (the eldest 2 were now teenagers), that if we were going to move back to Q'ld we would have to do it NOW!!!... So we did:-))
As it happened, our eldest son found it hard to adjust, so he went back to WA where he remains to this day (Perth)...
Fortunately, our other 3 had little (if any) trouble adjusting, to the point where they have now "put down roots" here in Toowoomba, with each of them expecting a 2nd child before the end of the year:-)))
As for the mrs & I, we are both "country" born & bred, and have spent most of our adult lives well away from cities & towns, but now find ourselves very much settled in a regional city, and I must say that we quite like it here....

As for your predicament, I will simply say this.... Follow your heart!!!..

Your kids are young enough that they will adapt very easily to any change, and will readily make new friends, but if you leave it 'till they become teenagers, then it may be another story ... as we found out:-( ....

Good Luck with it whatever you decide to do...

Regards, Ed. C.

Troy35,

If you are going to do it, do it now!! Once they go past the 10yo they decide to argue the decisions.
As you say education is important and at the ages you mentioned, you need to start thinking about high school and uni for the older ones.
In my case, everything was easy until the started high school...
It seems to me from what you are saying that you need a change, if that is the case make the move before its too late.
Good luck whichever decision you make.

Will

Thanks for your posts Ed and Will. It was great to hear your story Ed. Gave me a real perspective on it all.
One of the biggest factors to the move is our financial future. Here in Broome I am a manager and have been for 9 years but am unable to progress any further. If we move to Melbourne I will be able to progress to Operations manager and who knows maybe one day general manager of a company when Im older and wiser.
That just aint gonna happen in Broome. So I suppose to follow my heart would be to move to Melbourne and concentrate on my career and my kids schooling etc. Maybe one day when we retire we can move back. Its going to be hard though if we do move especialy after 15 years of living this lifestyle. I was 21 when I left Melbourne for Broome and am now 36.

Thanks again for the advice from everyone.

hi troy ,i reckon do it ,i moved from england 15 years ago and worried about the same things ,i answered my questions with you can always go back.Broome is a top spot ,but i dont rate it for teenagers they want a bit of life .Broome is a place to chill out .Melbourne is great and plenty to do ,your only just down the road from sydney and adelaide ,i throughly enjoyed it over there when i took the big hike over the nullabor.If you want a life do it the weather aint everything. carson

Hi Troy35,

The comments below are just my personal opinions only based on what our little family has been through and as each persons circumstances are very different, only you can make this decision.

I spent from 1974 - 1999 in the middle of the Gold Coast. The convenience and lifestyle of living in a city where living costs were cheap, there was heaps to do, career opportunies were endless seem to indicate that life would be relatively easy and simple.

From my experience, this was not the case. In 1999 we moved to a small community of about 2000 people on the coast near Bundaberg, a city of about 50,000 people. This was the best thing we have ever done but it still took some time to further simplify our life.

For example and in response to some of your comments:

"better education" - the kids, 7,12, and 15 had always been in private schools and when moving to this area they went to a private Christian College for the first couple of years. This was hard work for us, they hated it as they had done before and life was not any different. We removed them and placed them in state schools and they have never been happier, they achieve excellent results, we don't battle to get them to go to school, they do homework without us even asking etc......

"career opportunities" - I came to this area and wondered how we would survive as I had held excellent management positions and was used to earning a very high income, but sacrificed time with family, had a stressfull high pressure work environment, and was genrally not happy to acheive this. I now earn about half of what I did before and yet we are still able to do all that we want to do, I am happier, the kids enjoy doing much more simple things and have learnt to entertain themselves by spending much more time outside. We have a 4wd, a tent and a trailer sailer and all of our activities are usually based around something that includes their use. All in all it is a much healthier lifestyle.

I could go on and on but I think the key to this whole scenario is that I have found that getting out of the city, which now seems to me to be full of superficial people who wear masks to hide who they really are and get into rural Australia which is full of "what you see is what you get" people who are genuinely interested in each other, have the time to stop and chat, know everybody around them by name, share and borrow things and return them, this is what OZ is all about.

I have not locked my car or my house since I have been here and I don't hide behind security screens anymore. I have not witnessed any road rage for 6 years. My kids have a playstation and don't use it anymore.

I can see from your post that there are many practical reasons for you to move from the extremes of somewhere like Broome but maybe there is a compromise for you and your family where you could move to, and not lose some of the things that you currently have that keep life simple and stress free. In many ways places like Broome are ahead of the metropolitan areas of Australia and many people like me have discovered this and are fleeing from the cities to keep our sanity. You are used to big miles so maybe a move to somewhere within a couple of hours drive to your family in Melbourne could be an option for you and would not be such a culture shock for your kids too. Try to make any move a move forward for your family in all aspects.

Good on you too mate for putting putting such considerable thought into this decision as it shows the care that you have for your wife and kids. Good luck with your decision mate.

Cheers,
Brett

Howdy Troy,
When living away from family they tend to seem so important but when living near them you always wonder why???
I would move down to Perth and give your kids all the city life they desire and of course work opportunities for yourself without the bad weather and your family will still be there and you will make new friends...
BTW.. I dont live in Perth either....

didnt read all the replies...but what may suit you may not be suitable to others.....

if you and you partner agree...do it!
stop the procastination and pack and get going
you can always move on.....

Hi Troy

We have made the move from Brisbane to Melbourne almost 4 years ago now. It took some settling in, about 6 months or so and we would both go through times of wondering what the hell we had done. Although not the same as being in broome, not as big as a move as you would have, it has been a great thing for us. We are meeting heaps of great poeple, doing lots of things that we could do in brisbane and have recent brought a house here. Don't expect the first 6 months to be easy, everyone will be wanting to go home.
If you have been thinking about it for that long, just do it mate, or otherwise you might live always wondering?? If you do make the move, jump back on this site, hook up with a trip/gathering meet some of the poeple, it helps with the settle.

cheers

Crazie

Thanks to Crazie Nudenut and Dukeatty for the replies. This forum has been great for hearing different replies aand opinions. I knew I would geta response on here, its a great forum if you need the advice of an Aussie.
The problem with moving to Perth Dukeatty is that my wife has said if she does leave Broome she would rather move to live near family and friends than anywhere else. Also it would be a lot easier having the help of family and friends than trying to start again in a town where we didnt know anyone. I personally would probably prefer either Perth or QLD but agree with the wife that it would be harder to start again not knowing anybody.
I even wouldnt mind moving to country VIc, say Shepparton or Ballarat but then there is the career issue to think about.
One of the main reasons for moving is our finances. My wife doesnt work yet and having four kids means life is very expensive. Especially in Broome where rent is expensive, power bills are high during the monsoon season, fuel is $1.30 per litre, food and groceries are more expensive and it costs a fortune to go on holidays. Our orignal choice to consider the move was that I could earn more in the city and rent fuel food etc would be cheaper. However now we are starting to wonder if living in Melbourne will be cheaper in the long run. Especially that we will be doing more driving and spending more money on activities for the kids. But then again as the wife said she would rather spend $2000 in 6 months on taking the kids to the footy or the snow etc etc than on an aircon bill because its too bloody hot to do anything outside.

If you don't make the move you'll spend the rest of your life wondering "what if...". You're young enough to make a real go of a career and secure your family's financial future, which I presume you are ready to commit to. Your kids are young enough to move without too much hassle. You've grown out of the mindset that took you to Broome and if you're fired up for a bit of a career challenge, go for it. You won't be 36 again. Just older and past any career stuff. You'll be in a better position, financially, when your kids grow up and have more options. I came out here from England, so I know the doubts that go thru your mind. There'll be a bit of adjustment, but sounds like for the best all in all.

Hi Troy,

I've been to Broome about 10 years ago. It's a beautiful place. I also live on the outskirts in sth east Melb. I'm stuck in the opposite situation to you, would love to be away from the city and have permanent peace and quiet - that said though, then the trips away to these places would not be quite so special. Sth East Melb is not a bad location if you enjoy camping and 4WDing. Only a couple hours drive and you are in Gippsland and close to the East Gippsland Coast where there is loads of fun to be had 4WDing and camping in beautiful little spots.

Crystal balls would be nice, but then you would only take 'safe' options and maybe never really experience anything new. At the end of the day, it depends on how easy it will be for you and your family to uproot and make a new circle of friends.

Prepare yourself for the cold winters and the water at the beach is never quite as warm.

I would do it.

I have moved a number of times with my job in NSW.

My kids (4 of them) were young at the time. Our last move was a small country town in Central west NSW (pop 3500) , to Canberra , (pop 300,000).

The move was great. Anything you want or need is available , the choice of education etc. If you dont like the school , you find another.

I was looking at a change recently , but now my kids are in the final years of highschool , we are sort of stuck until they finish.

I would be off like a shot , if I had the chance. I get itchy feet staying in one place to long.

There would be so many opportunities in Melbourne.

As Nike says . . .

Just do it.

Hi Troy,

I have read this post with interest. My wife and I are leaving Sydney later this year and moving to Perth. We have our reasons, some very different to yours, some not so different.

The answer to your question is so complex and unknown. If you stay in Broome you may always wonder what if, if you move and it doesn't work out you may wonder what the hell have I done. But that's the crux of the mater, you just don't know. Simple things like the street you live on, the job you find, your new neighbours etc can either make or break the situation but a lot of these factors are outside of your control.

If you decide to move you will still have a few "bad" days for quite a few months where you will wonder what you have let yourself in for and settling in to a new place can be difficult. One point to remember is that nothing is for ever. I know you say you won't move back if you make the decision to move but if you are totally miserable after two years or so then you always can. I think what I am trying to say is that, within reason, follow your heart and if you are miserable then do something about it. Just remember to give it time and not make hasty decisions.

I move to Australia 7 years ago, I love this place and will never leave this country and live any where else long term again. I see a lot of my fellow countrymen stay here for a few years and the go through the exercise of packing up everything, moving family and all possession etc back to Ireland, trying it out for a couple of years and then coming back to Australia. That way they can finally settle into life in this country. Now if you think that your move is expensive then you can imagine to costs associated with just proving to yourself that is a great place to live. However, the huge expense of moving to the other side of the planet and back again is deemed necessary for many as it enables them to let go of any ties "to the old country". That's a $20k to $50K or even more if you have sold a house etc for some families but it happens regularly.

I'm not sure of my point here, I guess you know, deep down, what you really want to do. What ever you decide will be your making, your attitude to the entire project is the key. If you stay then be happy with that decision and forget about ever wanting to move and get on with your life and enjoy it. If you move then live with the discomfort of the unknown for a while and give it all your best effort.

I told my employer that I was leaving at the end of the year and soon after I was informed that they have created a job for me in Perth if I wanted it. A huge stress factor from our move has been taken away from us but the fact still stands that we were going to move anyway. We are chasing our lifestyle and not having our life dictated to us by an employer or a crippling mortgage etc.

Enough from me,

Hi Troy,
First of all its no good humming and hahing about it. You could read a thousand posts and you still wouldnt be able to make up your mind.
When i was a kid a got moved around quite a bit (due to divorced parents) but kids make friends quick and will aclimatise (i think thats a word) just as quickly.
I had always wanted to move to tassie and run a business the chance came up a few years back we took it the business was a suck and we got screwed. Butbleepat least we tried it. Didnt work out came back up to Northern NSW went on a bit of a trip and now getting ready to move back to tassie, but just to live there this time.
So, if you dont do the big move you will be thinking about it forever.
And if you already know people in the vicinty of where you are heading well that makes settling in sooo much easier.
And I think you have suffered enough from the heat. We get really high humidty here and in summer as soon as you start to do a bit oif work or anything you end up looking like you just jumped in the creek. And after living in this area for about 27years we have had enough of it, and it just seems to be getting worse each year, (unless its just me getting older). Thus the reason we are going south.
So just give it a go.
Remember the old TV ad.
"You never never know if you never ever go"
Cheers
and best of Luck in the Move.

one other thing, which Alan S touched on. The amount of people that change their minds and go back to the old country, some come back again, some don't. But it's a waste of time, energy and money, not to mention the upheaval. You've got to be single minded about it. Before I came here, I worked with a bloke in Manchester who'd been out here to live, twice. They were torn between family at home and a better lifestyle out here. The last I heard of him, he'd come back for a third time. It put me off coming here at first and I swore there's no way I would subject myself/family to that kind of indecision no matter how tough the going got. And it did at first. Mainly financially, and setting up my own business. I went backwards the first year and got back on an even keel in just under three years.Thought it was the end of the world. Now I'm loaded. Just joking. But it's turned out well and I'm glad I said we'd give it three years and if things aren't better then.....well we'd have to think about it. But that was mainly because we were in a niche market which wasn't as popular here as in the UK. I'm sure if you've got a job to go to before you move you'll be ok. And you're not going to the other end of the planet.

Hi Troy

We moved from Adelaide to Sydney for two years and then moved back (employment and living expeses)

My girls cried when we left Adelaide (for 3 months) and cried when we left Sydney (for the trip back). The expeience was great but it is hard to go back (as billy joel sings "you can never go back to the green").

I rationalise it basicly down to this lifes a roller coaster get in and hang on and enjoy the ride where ever it takes you.

I understand the nerves but look forward and once you leave do not look back (that does not mean dont go back), do not regret the changes or even assess whether it was a good or bad move. Just keep on trucking. after all you will have somany new tracks over in "thebin" with in striking range of a long week end.

Good luck and hold on tight
Trevor

Wow thanks again to everyone who posted. Certainly many different storys which is what I wanted to read about. I think the general consensus is to just do it and see what happens. I certainly dont think I will hate melbourne, I was born and raised there for 21 years and have many friends who have now got kids and what not I have never seen. I just dont want to miss the Broome lifestyle too much when Im gone.
I know the kids will love it, they have never seen a train or tram, never been in an elevator or high rise building and they have only seen their first hill or mountain when we went to Mt Barnett the other weekend. There will be lots of things for the kids to see and do if we go. I just hope we enjoy the new life style and dont hate it or regret movng and I hope our financial situation improves as a result and not the other way.
Thansk again.

Just do it!!!

Here's our story. aprox 10 years ago (1 child) husband came home and said he wanted to be a doctor. After a few years of trying to get in, he did and that involved major move to sydney from small country town. Now with 3 children our journey will be almost over at the end of this year. I might add that this has involved moves from what we "thought was home" to what "what we made our home" the hardest part - making the inital decision! The kids have adapted. I have adapted

We still have a major move ahead of us (hopefully Adelaide) for internship.

Think of it as an adventure - your going to get old no matter what or where you are, you may as well be enjoying yourself along the way!!!!

Have a great weekend

Hi Troy 35,
I believe after the many adjustments of settling in you will really appreciate Melbourne.The weather is actually mild with the last few winters being quite dry and not so cold and the summers can get hot but with low humidity so relatively comfortable.The Autumn many say is the best time of year and the Spring also fine.What i like about Melbourne is opportunity there is plenty of it and as far as lifestyle there is everything from the snowfields to the beaches and the Victorian High country has the best four wheel driving in Australia.Cost of living here is not as high as Broome so that means more expendable income.You could do a lot worse than consider Melbourne (don't forget it was voted worlds most liveable city).Good luck with your decision i know it is a scary one which you want to get right but to me Broome sounds like a great place for half the year and the other half either very hot or very wet and very expensive all year to live for a family.
Good Luck
Mark