If Swmbos driving, how far do you get before making that fatal comment!!!?

Submitted: Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 21:55
ThreadID: 66620 Views:2725 Replies:19 FollowUps:20
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Mines a shocker at roundabouts!, if a car is 50mtrs away from entering, she's on the brakes!..lol. ..makes for some liveley comments on both sides i can tell you!!.



Cheers Axle.
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Reply By: Member - Footloose - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:03

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:03
My wife is an excellent driver. It's just that I'm a nervous passenger !
AnswerID: 352832

Follow Up By: Member - Axle - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:30

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:30
Hahaha!, maybe include a bottle of prozac on the next shooping list, I'm thinking about it!...lol.



Cheers Axle.
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Follow Up By: Member - Bucky, the "Mexican"- Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 05:36

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 05:36
Groveller !
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Reply By: ross - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:08

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:08
So my mums not the only one LOL
Except mum would do it as the lights turned orange,regardless of how close she was to the iintersection.
Us kids would die of embarassment as mum would bring the old HR wagon to a screeching halt on saturday morning shopping trips

I think in 40 years of driving ,she never went through anything but a green light
AnswerID: 352835

Follow Up By: Member - Axle - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:35

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:35
Mums know best!! :)))))


Cheers Axle.
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Follow Up By: Shaker - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:54

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:54
They sure do.
Isn't it an offence to enter an intersection on an amber light?
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Follow Up By: ross - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 08:36

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 08:36
No ,because they can change just before you cross the white line.
If you ever go your license they will explain it to you
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Reply By: Motherhen - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:32

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:32
If i am driving and he says ANYTHING that smacks of back seat driving, the offer is "Which wheel would you like to travel on my dearest - the back or front, left or right - your choice".

Motherhen
Motherhen

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Follow Up By: Member - Axle - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:39

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:39
You wouldn't say that to hubby!!!??.






Yes you would!!..hahahahaha.





Cheers Axle.
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Reply By: Ozboc - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:41

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:41
As a bike rider , this is just another thing we have to watch out for - women that are over conscientious , its given me lots of little flats spots on my tires over the years , and yes bike tires are as expensive as large MTR tires for my nissan


Boc
AnswerID: 352838

Reply By: Member - Dunworkin (WA) - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:43

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:43
If Swmbos driving, how far do you get before making that fatal comment!!!?

The clever answer to your question is "well after you get to your destination if at all" LOL

Cheers

D



Simba, our much missed baby.

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Follow Up By: Member - Ian W (NSW) - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 22:22

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 22:22
In my case, just before we reach our letterbox.

Ian.
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Follow Up By: Member - Dunworkin (WA) - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 16:34

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 16:34
Hi Ian W, I would have thought that a bit too soon as you are still in the confines of the car Ha ha ha ha

Cheers

Deanna


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Reply By: Member - Stuart W (Vic) - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:52

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 22:52
My better half occasionally drives me home from social occasions where I have partaken of the odd beer and if i make a sensible and or reasonable comment about her driving and the longevity of the hilux boy don't I cop it. Thre's no reasoning with them.
AnswerID: 352840

Reply By: Member - Ron M (NSW) - Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 23:30

Saturday, Mar 07, 2009 at 23:30
I have found from our grey nomad treks around , The best thing is to just sit there and say nothing . It makes for a happy meal that night. just do not stay in the same town to long
Ron MACKENZIE

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Reply By: Member - Bucky, the "Mexican"- Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 05:36

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 05:36
Axle

I usually gotta bite my lip. Wait 2 to 3 weeks, then try and explain why I was clawing at the door, to get out. Easier to just it go, and wait for the BANG !..

Ever tried an on-ramp to a freeway at 40km/h. No such thing as getting up to speed, just putters along, then stops, and gives way to everything within 2 kms....

or

Turning the street map in sync, with the steering wheel.. Then it's my fault..Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ! because it's upside down, and we are lost..

The list goes on... and as it builds, I usually sink further into the poo !

Cheers
Bucky




AnswerID: 352853

Reply By: Willem - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 08:21

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 08:21
When we walk to the car I get the "You drive"

SWMBO goes into a 'daze' on the road.

Me...."Ummm...yer still doing 110 and it's an 80 zone"

She...."Where?"

Me...."About 200 metres back!"

Car comes to a screeching halt.

She...."You drive!!!!!"

I drive.



SWMBO says...

"Did you see that sign?"

"Stop fiddling with the Tom Tom and watch where yer going"

"Ahhhh yer went off the bitumen!!" and she grabs the sissy bar.

"Look where yer going!!!"



Me....."You drive"

She..."No way"

Stalemate.


"Lets stop for smoko and have a cuppa".

Good idea.

Bin married 40 years in 09.....Cheeeeez




Cheers








AnswerID: 352864

Follow Up By: Member - Axle - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 08:57

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 08:57
Hahahaha!, That describes 40yrs of bliss,(torture).

O9 brings 35yrs to me, but i think us poor males are just sticks standing in the the same poo!!....lol. (running for cover)


Cheers Axle.
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Follow Up By: Member - Bucky, the "Mexican"- Tuesday, Mar 10, 2009 at 04:35

Tuesday, Mar 10, 2009 at 04:35
Willem & Axle

We clock up 36 years this coming May..

There is usually one real good "clanger" from SWMBO, every year..

But still we go back...... too hard to train one, that alone another" is my attitude ..

Cheers Guys
Bucky

ps I do what ever I like..... as long as she lets me.!
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Reply By: Member - MUZBRY(Vic) - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 09:17

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 09:17
Gday
When Kathy drives i have to go into limbo d d dl dl d d dl dl sorry i missed a few minutes there
Murray
Muzbry
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Reply By: Pajpower - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 10:16

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 10:16
go in separate cars, cost more in fuel but still heaps cheaper than divorce :)

Cheers Paj
AnswerID: 352881

Reply By: Member - DAZA (QLD) - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 12:39

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 12:39
Hi All

My Cook is a reasonable driver, she is cautious, but doesn't like me as a passenger, she says that I am allways trying to find fault with her driving, she wont let me play with the radio or air/con, she wants to be boss of every thing while she is behind the wheel,the only thing I dont like is she won't share the blame eg, if I drive through a Red Light Camera when the lights are on Amber, she will allways say if you get a ticket you can lose the points, and I tell her they can't tell who was driving, so I will blame her, because I need the points for my business, then she realy goes off lol lol.

PS. So far we haven't had a Fine or lost any Points.



Cheers
Daza
AnswerID: 352898

Reply By: handy - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 12:50

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 12:50
i go to sleep when she drives, easier on me and her,lol
AnswerID: 352901

Follow Up By: Brian (Montrose, Vic.) - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 22:16

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 22:16
Yup I trained myself to go to sleep as soon as she turns the car on, that way when she does something potentially harmful I am nice and relaxed and don't see it coming! Except the first time she met a roadtrain and swore and screamed like all blazes and woke me up as we came tearing to a stop (because she was scared of it) inches away from the armaco!
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Reply By: Sigmund - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 14:14

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 14:14
I hop in the back seat and take in the scenery.

...

But the worst is some women in the inner/mid east suburbs of Melb ... they're not timid they're bleeding crazy. Motorbikes just don't register on their radar; pull out in front of you, change into your lane without looking.

I dream of revenge ... a metal water pistol filled with brake fluid perhaps.
AnswerID: 352915

Reply By: Flywest - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 14:46

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 14:46
36+......

You know - Murders only 21 years and with time off for good behaviour I'd a probably been out in 12!

Using this math - I figure I'm on my 3rd tour of duty!

Theres no way I'll make it to 4 tours - because if her driving doesn't kill me - our kids driving likely will!

Cheers!
AnswerID: 352921

Reply By: Member - Warfer (VIC) - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 17:12

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 17:12
Lifted from another site....


'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of bleep .'





Cheers
AnswerID: 352942

Reply By: Member - Au-2 - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 18:53

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 18:53
Ahem fellas, speaking as one from the other side of the fence raised here, if you are all still married at the 40yr mark, I would say that the SWMBOs must be doing something right, wouldn't you say? So far I haven't seen one bloke reply that he was a widower due to his wifes lack of driving competence.
I was the primary driving instructor of three sons who successfully obtained their licences the first time they tried and now they, also, think that they have the right to sit in judgement on my own and their partners driving ability.
How do you think it would feel to have a work/best mate continually picking at you as you drove? It makes a person nervous and less confident and more liable to make mistakes, that's what it feels like! I could post a whole page on what I see as male faults when driving, but I wouldn't like to turn you all into a bunch of nervous Nellies.
Nuff said!
Sheila.
AnswerID: 352956

Follow Up By: Flywest - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 17:37

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 17:37
[quote]if you are all still married at the 40yr mark,[/quote]

Not Likely!

If I'm gonna be henpecked to death - i wanna die at the hands of some gal half her age and twice as good looking! ;o)

Cheers
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Follow Up By: Member - Au-2 - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 22:04

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 22:04
If she accepted you Flywest, when she was half her age and twice as good looking, (marvellous what 40yrs of marriage does to a woman,) why would someone else, when you are twice her age and half as good looking?
Sheila.
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Reply By: Member - Vivien C (VIC) - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 20:33

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 20:33
Aren't men just the most perfect examples of driving excellence? They always obey the speed limits, stop at stop signs and never get road rage. Oh how difficult it must be for them to put up with the inadequacies of us "mere females". How we manage to get from A to B without their assistance must amaze them.

Meanwhile I've driven for over thirty years and have had no driving fines.... unlike the male driver in the family. It must be just sheer dumb luck on my behalf and sheer bad luck on his!!

Viv
AnswerID: 352970

Follow Up By: Member - Au-2 - Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 22:17

Sunday, Mar 08, 2009 at 22:17
Yes Viv, they are just so perfect that they even try to convince you that you were driving the car when it was 'flashed for cash.' Just as well we fems have lo.o.o.ong memories along with our other vices, huh?
Sheila.
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Follow Up By: Member - Axle - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 10:16

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 10:16
But, But, But, Ladies!!!,......Just think, what it would be like without us?....hahahahahahaha.



Cheers Axle.
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Follow Up By: Member - Heather G (NSW) - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 12:01

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 12:01
We do sometimes Axle .......its called fantasising...... but it would be bloody difficult for me to attach the bars on the towing kit without mine along!!!!

I can reverse the car onto the towball with no problems and usually do so this job (given the correct directions from the other half) but just am not strong enough to lift the bars!
And I reverse the van into the correct position when we pull up too, mostly without incident and very few arguments. (there were tears when we did it the other way as I couldnt give accurate directions and he couldnt take them!!!)

Oh and I almost forgot... I do need someone to empty the toilet cassette too!!!!!

I had a drive the other day for maybe 40kms towing the van along the Pacific Highway and was accused of ruining the fuel economy figures. Bit hard to know what it all feels like if you dont get the chance to get used to it though I reckon.
I have had many laughs reading this thread though - did it start on Friday cause it could have been in the Friday funnies.
Cheers Heather
Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt. John Muir

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Follow Up By: Member - Axle - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 12:40

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 12:40
G/Day Heather, Interesting comments on the reversing onto the tow bar, :Good on you!!. My wife is really good at backing me up until i.m two feet away, and then loses the plot by putting her hands over her face and screaming "STOP".


Just maybe i'll give her a go......lol.





Cheers Axle.
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Follow Up By: Member - Au-2 - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 13:05

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 13:05
Thank you girls for your support, I just couldn't allow this thread to pass unchallenged!
Heather, I have no skills re parking vans and such so you seem to be holding our end up there. I must add that, we also had the problem of him driving, me directing, until we realised that our non-driving daughter had it down to a tee. It seems that a little bit of knowledge can be a contentious thing.
I have also taken over the emptying of the porta-loo, as I couldn't tolerate the histrionics involved with the male members' handling of this chore. Talk about road rage, that has nothing on loo hysterics. The use of Bio-Magic certainly makes this job less onerous these days.
Many years ago, girl-friend and I took our kids (5) to Maroochydore for a few days away, while our men folk slaved away on board ship. We had two passenger vans, Mitsu and Toyo, set one up as our base with annexe etc., and the other was our transporter. I still fondly remember those stress-free days like no others, it was a holiday without equal yet! Can you imagine five kids together and not one temper tantrum? Well, it is possible! Believe me!
Sheila.
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Follow Up By: Member - Heather G (NSW) - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 15:31

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 15:31
To Axle - if you give your wife a go at the reversing thing, she will be OK so long as you dont stuff up the directions!!!
It is quite amusing to drive into a place, swap positions, and get the thing parked without trauma while being watched (mostly by men). They congratulate me but not too many seem keen on letting their wives do it! (Maybe they are worried that the women will do the job better!!!!)
We dont often stay in van parks anymore but sometimes the campgrounds in National parks or free camps are more difficult due to trees etc.

And now to Sheila.
how do you lift the toilet cassette down from the hatch thingy?? I dont think I am a weakling but it must weigh at least 15 kg and I am worried I wouldnt be able to pull it out and get it to ground level without dropping it! Wouldnt like to have it split and the contents spill over the place! Now that would be entertaining!
(NOT)
Cheers heather

Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt. John Muir

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Follow Up By: Member - Au-2 - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 22:24

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 22:24
Heather, ours is a Porta-Potti, and I get Himself to carry it to the designated tipping point after he has dug a nice deep hole first, of course, then I take care of 'business,' very carefully, too! It can be done without splashback and the attendant 'hissy fits,' which I thought, in the beginning, were a necessary part of the ritual.
The first time I did it, without Himself being present, and daughter and I dug the hole, emptied the convenience, and left no footprints, holes in walls or broken handy objects. We bush camp in solitude on private properties (with the owners permission) mostly, and to cut down on loo-loading, daughter and I use a little bucket inside the bowl of the potty for no 1's, which we empty under a bush when we finish. The potti will last much longer between re-loads using this method. I have noticed that Himself enjoys the usual long session camping on the potti as much as he does the one at home.
Sheila.
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Reply By: Alan H - Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 10:57

Monday, Mar 09, 2009 at 10:57
My cooks got the perfect way of not getting any critiscm from me.... she just flatly refuses to drive when I'm in the car!
Only, and it's very rare, will she drive if I've had a few and if she won't do it my daughter then gets the job and I'm told very bluntly to walk if I don't like it so I just sit their and shake with fear but keep my mouth shut up.
The joys of motoring and happy marriages.... over 40 years and she's still putting up with me.
Alan.
AnswerID: 353040

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