camping comedy capers

In the days before the popularisation of the porta pottis, a bloke I know had to make up a frame to fit a toilet seat to it as his missus refused to squat out in the bush. So she had to carry the shovel and the paper and the lighter and the seat out into the bush. Fellow campers gave them no end of grief...........

Another bloke carries a rake with him to rake around his site..........

We are all a bit eccentric.............

Willie
Never a dull moment

Well Diamond, thats a doozy alright, Im not trying to top it but a good few years ago mate and self were full time gold dredging on the turon river s/w of hill end nsw (come in from the turondale side) On the hill end side was a property called "madmans"- 3500 or so acres set up for pretty rugged 4wd driving. Anyway, mate and self heard what we thought was another dredge going a few hundred yards downstream. Now being a wee bit "treacle nosed" (not my original!) we snuck down to get a gander and lo and behold, a group of 4 had set up camp beside the river and had actually brought in a "ride on mower" to cut round their camp site! Mind you, it is cranky tiger snake country, so could have been method in the madness!
Yes, we were on good gold too, and theres plenty left in the turon.
cheers haze

You could start another thread on Britz Campers.

We where in an Esperence Van park that was reasonably full when in pulled 3 Britz Troopy Campers they came down the drive then spread out in to three seperate directions, it was about 5.30ish so most where enjoying a coldy and settling down for the sunset and everybody did that doubletake thing because the convoy which had split up in three different directions was now driving thru peoples camp sites, over fly strings, under washing lines, thru peoples eating areas thru the whole damn park, well everyone at this stage is considering telling them to &^%$ off or to sit back and watch the show! Anyway after 5 mins of crossing hill and dale the three came towards each other from different directions did a three point U-turn and reversed up to each other to make a three pointed star so that they could have their back doors all facing each other. Everybody started to giggle until one old bloke said as dry as you like "So when are the Indians turning up?" at which point the giggles turned into guffaws!
We also once saw one old chook camping with the 2 grandchildren that had brought a full size top loading washing machine, But I think she forgot the laundry sink.

Last Xmas the fire watcher at the top of Bill Goat Bluff, told me a couple of German Tourists drove up the track in a stock britz camper.

They were going from Sydney to Perth and this was their second day.

more on Britz - couple of years ago at Kings Creek Station - peaceful spot? till the German tourists in Britz arrived - decided to party till the small hours - radio going full bore etc etc - till somebody pulled their power plug - though the next morning the mens toilet was absolutely disgusting - absolutely no respect for other people. and yes, I know nothing wrong with a bit of a party - but not in a place where most people are travellers, not stopping for a long weekend or whatever, starting out early the next day.

Around the camp fire, a few years ago, myself and a few mates were having a few drinks ( as you do ) when one of the blokes placed "another log on the fire" and out ran about a dozen or so Huntsman spiders of varing sizes. It was hiarious to be apart of a group of "big strong men", half tanked, trying be balance precariously on the arms of uluminium camp chairs. I nearly wet myself, and I was doing the same thing.

Bazza.

Ok lets see if this one gives you a laugh.
was at a 4wd groyp cook out & there was a guy tring to get a big bonfire going ,the fire was aproximatly 3m in dia,& was burning well down at centre of the fire.When our contender for a darwin award decides he is going to get it going better by tipping petrol on it , fine you think just tip some petrol into a tin & throw it on , bobs your uncle.
But no not our hero he walks striaght up with the gerry can & tips it straight on.well up it went & if thats not bad enough our guy starts running away from the fire gerry can firmly in hand splashing fuel as he went . needless to say the fire was in hot pursuit & everybody else was heading for the hills
Regards Bruce

The scene is set at Palm Valley , the lead male is a Bill Kings driver and his Cook and the extras are all Yanks on their first trip out ofd the States [LOUD].One of the extras has bought a digge at Hermansburg and Is trying to play it When our wag of a driver tells him you can even play jazz on them , after much toing and froing the bet is laid and all the extras bet a $1 each.Our lead then grabs the digge sucks a good lung full of air and proceeds to scream JAZZZZZ down the digge and then says see told you I could get jazz out of this thing and thank you all very much for the donation to the RFDS .Final curtain to much merriment by all the extras.

The fire story reminds me of a German Backpacker we picked up who insisted on looking after the campfire as it was her first camp trip.
Well being lazy bastards we didn't chop up the wood figured that the easy option is to let the logs burn a bit and gradually feed them in, commen sense aye?
Well this girl wouldn't listen and insisted on looking after the fire. What she would do was add more kindling to the log as it burned away, result by midnight a 4 metre long fire roaring at one end and dead at the other!

One cold winters night on the NSW Mid north Coast on an army training exercise some members of our section were caught in a very chilly downpour, we were on an overnight patrol and were travelling very light.
When the rain stopped we quickly got a fire going and stripped off and propped our clothes real close to the fire where they would quickly dry.

Being known as a major prankster, nobody took any chances when I took a hand full of 7.62 mm rounds out of my pocket and threw them into the fire and yelled "RUN"

Everybody scattered into the bush in the nick and froze to death away from the fire as they waited for the inevitable pops and fizzes that sometimes take 5 minutes to happen.

The best bit was that I only had 2 blanks in my pocket along with about 10 spent shells - but nobody knew that except me BUT they wern't taking any chances. My mirth kept me warm enough till I went back to the fire.

The story has an ironic twist to it - and alas there was justice done -

As we were drying our pants and thawing our frozen butts out - we were having a bit of a competition as to who could make the biggest steam cloud - again not to be outdone I proudly displayed a waft of steam that left everyone else breathless - and envious of my fine effort - until I discovered that I had actually burnt the bum out of my uniform. Hmmm
So I spent the next 30 hours or so wandering around the bush and sliding down hills (I was the Foward Scout as fate would have it) with my red and blue jocks providing the morale and humour for the troops.

I could tell a few more just as good.

(If I get a chance later on there is a good one about 2 muslims in our company and the last piece of bacon, but I gotta go for now - we're off to black duck downs)

Kes

Many years ago we were on a weekend fishing trip to Moreton Island. On the Friday night when we arrived we cooked up the rump steaks and veges and settled down for a big feed. But these steaks were tougher than boot leather and virtually inedible.
Then the bloke who bought the meat realised what had happened. He'd bought some HORSE meat for his dogs at the same time as buying our rump, and of course the two bags had gotten mixed up!
The next morning we cut the horse steaks into small chunks and left it simmering all day in a casserole pot but it was still too tough to eat!

GUNSYND GOULASH! No fun!!

Greg