Little Miss Redhead - She's sure to ignite something

Submitted: Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 11:39
ThreadID: 109028 Views:2151 Replies:4 FollowUps:9
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You’ve got to love the Australian Bush, the Outback, the red-parched earth of an ancient land stretching from horizon to horizon touched only by an endless deep blue sky, and confetti fluttering in a warm cooling breeze.

Hang-on, since when was confetti part of our outback landscape, I hear you ask…

On our recent trip into the outback we felt we must have been travelling behind one of those buses full of Japanese newly-weds that you see down at the Rocks precinct in Sydney on a Saturday morning. Lots of smiling faces, nodding as only the Japanese can in their most polite way, married in large groups on the steps of Mrs Macquarie’s Chair.

Strewth, just to be clear, lest I be accused of casting a racial slur.

We love the Japanese, I eat sashimi almost every other day, and I’m not suggesting there were busloads of them in the outback throwing confetti everywhere, I was speaking metaphorically. But by crikey – somebody must have been. There was so much of it that you could be forgiven for thinking that it must have come from some sort of mass wedding, surely?

And let me tell you, there weren’t any smiling faeces either!

Now I get it, it isn’t the most popular dinner party topic, butt thanks to Kenny and his wonderful 2006 movie “Kenny” we’ve at least got a little more comfortable discussing the issue around the camp fire these days.

And let’s not beat around the bush here, we are talking about “Poo Tickets”.

Okay, you can stop cringing, and yes, Kenny dispelled many of those urban myths about “mine doesn’t smell, and I always clean the bowel” so don’t waste your breath repeating them!

As a kid I used to visit my grandmother’s home in a small country town and she had an outhouse down the backyard. We’ve all seen them, they’ve been the butt of many jokes and cartoons for time eternity. And Nan always had a small box of matches sitting behind the door and insisted that one be lit each and every time you arose from the throne!

I thought this was normal, and I don’t recall anyone ever complaining about this.

Well I did hear Uncle Bluey complaining about it once, but that was when me cousin accidently set alight to his prized Playboy Mag that was tucked down the back of the seat that us kids never knew about – and mum’s still the word on that one!

So why a box of matches?

Well the smell of a freshly lit match kills almost any other smell that is lingering – of course caution should be exercised and there was that one time that old Bluey sent the door over the back fence after a brekkie of Heinz baked beans…

I’m not sure what was funniest, Bluey sitting there in his navy singlet with his Y-Fronts around his ankles, or the dunny door in the neighbour’s mango tree.

Butt, here is the thing, I’ve always carried a little box of redheads when in the bush, the outback, and it’s purpose is two-fold – in one bold strike you can fill the nostrils with the smell of a freshly burning match, try it, it’s refreshing after a squat, and then use it to burn your paper…

So, next time you head out do us all a favour and be sure to take “Miss Redhead” with you, she may not ignite your passion, but in the least, she will ignite your “poo tickets”…



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Reply By: Sigmund - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 11:43

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 11:43
Nice one Landy.

Maybe take a lighter, or blow torch, for wetter occasions.
AnswerID: 537195

Follow Up By: Les PK Ranger - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 13:04

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 13:04
These little ones are great for staring the campfire, easy refill from butane refill can . . .

Weller butane torch

Now another dual purpose item :)
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Follow Up By: Sigmund - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 13:29

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 13:29
Nifty!....
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Reply By: Member - Duncan W (WA) - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 14:07

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 14:07
Baz that was one of the issues we had on our recent travels. Paper behind every bush it seemed at times.

When we travelled north from Coober Pedy along the Stuart Hwy we called in at a couple of the look outs and the stench hit you as soon as you opened a door. At one spot I had to walk some distance beyond the car parking area just so that I didn't get paper and other crap in my wide angle photo.

In the Simpson the amount of crap being left at the top of some of the more difficult dunes where obviously people have been congregating while the bogged are getting de-bogged was appalling.

People want the adventure and then bleep it up for others.

Cheers

D
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Follow Up By: Member - Duncan W (WA) - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 14:09

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 14:09
Oh forgot to say - well written Baz.

Cheers

D

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Follow Up By: pop2jocem - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 14:41

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 14:41
I think that's the problem Dunc, they de-bog themselves as well as the car.
We could say they don't give a sh-t but unfortunately they do and leave it wherever it may land.

Maybe they wore out the shovel digging their car out.

Agree well written

Definately one of my pet hates...Grrrr

Pop
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Follow Up By: Bob Y. - Qld - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 20:53

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 20:53
No excuse in that sandhill country, Pop, eh!

Half a dozen strokes with a decent shovel, and one can dig a "long drop" deep enough to deter even the dingoes, from accessing some human seconds.

Think someone mentioned on here, sometime back, that they used a small squirter bottle of metho, to help the paper burn. Would make for interesting pyrotechnics, once the sun was down. :-)

Bob

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Reply By: Member - Ross N (NSW) - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 15:51

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 15:51
Well said
A lot of people aren't aware that dingoes & foxes will dig up buried "doings" and thus
spread the paper about so burying it is not enough.Do as suggested & burn it before burial
Ross
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Follow Up By: Member - John and Val - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 16:09

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 16:09
Better still carry a small paper bag and pop used paper in that for disposal in the camp fire. Not difficult, and many of us do that. If need be - for the more fastidious - place brown paper bag plus contents into plastic ziplock bag for extended shelf/storage life in the rubbish container.

Toilet paper is hard to burn and at times there is the risk of starting a bushfire, or there may be fire bans, so the brown paper bag method scores on all counts.

The one thing that is worse than toilet paper (well maybe 2 things) are wet wipes and disposable nappies. Oh and ladies sanitary items. No excuse for any of them to be left lying around. Be prepared and leave the country better than you found it.

Val.

J and V
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Follow Up By: The Landy - Wednesday, Aug 06, 2014 at 06:53

Wednesday, Aug 06, 2014 at 06:53
Hi John and Val

And whilst the idea of a brown paper bag is sound, the issue is we can't get people to be thoughtful as it is now, getting them to carry it in bags to be disposed of later might be as hard as pulling hens teeth.

I am a firm believer in leaving an area better than you found it, and this presented challenges on our recent trip. There is no way I am collecting other people's poo-tickets for disposal later - the health risks are too great. But on more than one occasion I went for a walk with Miss Redhead and burnt the paper.

The tragedy is that people are giving little thought for themselves and others. Recently at Arthur River on the Plenty Highway, we had a beautiful full moon rising on the eastern horizon, a wonderful red ball setting on the western horizon, and a paddock of poo-tickets in between.

I guess a common sense approach to burning is needed, but I'm thinking it would take quite a few tickets to be starting a fire...

Hopefully we can change people's attitudes by calling it out at every opportunity, and I must say this was the worst I had encountered in recent years.

And many of the areas would only be accessed by out of the way travellers, and despite the protests that it is always someone else, a standard distribution suggests that with a high amount of traffic on EO the odds are these people visit this site regularly...

Cheers, Baz
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Reply By: Grumblebum and the Dragon - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 18:27

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 18:27
Poo Tickets..... poo tickets!!? the 'Tinkle Tissues' so beloved by the ladies are far more frequent and just as unsightly. It seems that it is Ok for the ladies to tuck a snotty germ filled hanky or tissue up the sleeve but the thought of collecting a sterile urine stained 'Tinkle Tissue' for later burning or otherwise disposal brings gasps of horror.

Get over it ladies and do the right thing.

John
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Follow Up By: Member - John and Val - Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 21:52

Tuesday, Aug 05, 2014 at 21:52
John,

See post above. All the ladies that I have ever travelled with (and there have been quite a few) have had impeccable manners re tinkle tissues, white butterflies, poo tickets or whatever else you want to call tissues, toilet paper and the like. I particularly recall a camp of several days duration where we had about a dozen people 50/50 male/female camped for a few days with only one "hole in the ground" toilet. At the request of the (indigenous) landowner all used toilet paper was stored in a garbage bag for burning just before we left. Everyone complied.

I know there are lot of poo ticket offenders around but please dont blame it all on the ladies - at least with out some evidence.

Cheers,

Val
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Follow Up By: The Landy - Wednesday, Aug 06, 2014 at 06:58

Wednesday, Aug 06, 2014 at 06:58
And if I can add to Val's comments, this is about personal hygiene, and for sure I singled out poo-tickets as it was the most visible...

For the most part I think generally people do the right thing, but we need to work on those who don't!

Cheers, Baz - The Landy
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