Happy Fridays just good news and no jokes

Submitted: Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 09:55
ThreadID: 139815 Views:13467 Replies:11 FollowUps:16
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Seeing Friday funnies are out the door, finished never to return, how about instead of all the gloom, posters tell good news stories about either themselves or something else they have come across.

Well I will kick it off with just an average weeks non events.

Family are all in good health, weather is stating to cool and humidity has come down, which in nice. and I haven't broken anything this week (Bonus).

Tried to get some dunny paper photos for Michelle which didn't happen, but the good news was they have installed toilets at our road train hookup area.

All have a happy friday and just remember no jokes.
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Reply By: Kenell - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 10:14

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 10:14
Great idea 9900Eagle. Like you I too haven't broken anything this week which makes it quite unique. I am currently fascinated about the rumours that abound at present as people latch on to anything in the face of a crisis. As an example I heard "from a reliable source" that Michelle is really only looking for photos of toilet paper because she hasn't been able to get any for a few weeks and she is over using gum leaves, yellow pages and newspaper and she really just wanted some photos to remind her of the good old days. While on that subject and purely a personal viewpoint I believe that those who have been hoarding the toilet rolls are actually those who need them most. They are obviously full of - well you get the gist and I wouldn't want to offend sensitive google eyes !!
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Reply By: Gramps - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 10:30

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 10:30
Good idea 9900Eagle.

Unlike yourself and Kenell, I've lost count of what I've broken this week. A positive is I then have plenty to do if I self isolate. I'd much prefer the Dutch version of panic buying though:

Dutch panic buying

Regards
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Follow Up By: Mick O - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 12:38

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 12:38
Hmmm;

You can tell a lot about the priority of a country's people can't you!

Australia Dunny Paper
USA Guns and ammo
Holland Cannabis
China Rhino Horn and Pangolin scales
Britain Fresh food (not non-perishables)

No doubt it will keep the psychologists and anthropologists busy for decades once all the kerfuffle has died down and life returns to something like normal.
''We knew from the experience of well-known travelers that the
trip would doubtless be attended with much hardship.''
Richard Maurice - 1903

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Reply By: Allan B (Sunshine Coast) - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 11:51

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 11:51
.
I put together a list of odd jobs that could benefit from my attention in isolation.
It started with 22 tasks but the list grows daily.
Have knocked off 10 so far. Some of the others I would class as major.... like washing the car!
Then a supreme one.... tidying the workshop.

There is a sign hanging in my shed........
"God put me on earth to achieve certain things.
Right now I am so far behind that I will never die".

Cheers
Allan

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Reply By: Frank P (NSW) - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 12:57

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 12:57
The good news for me is that Mazda Australia recently told me that they would replace the engine in my BT50 at no cost to me after a faulty injector burned a hole in a piston. My BT is 2 years and 22k km out of manufacturer's warranty. And they've given me a rental car (new Mitsubishi ASX) for as long as it takes.

We are recovering well from having our two storey home of 20 years re-carpeted. My advice to all is DON'T DO IT. Sell it as is, because by the time you have cleared the decks you are short only of a For Sale sign out the front and a removal van.

Like Allan, I have a list as long as my arm of things to do around the house, IN PARTICULAR clean out the garage, which seems to have taken on a degree of priority following the new carpet, yet is totally unrelated. Lol.
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Follow Up By: Life Member - Duncan W (WA) - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 16:16

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 16:16
Frank we recently had the painters in to redecorate our house. It would have been an easier job to move house I'm sure of it. The amount of stuff we threw out was unbelievable, so much so we had to get a skip bin in. Wish I'd done the carpets at the same time!!!!!!!!! Definitely not looking forward to gutting out the rooms again.

Now my shed is another thing again, I'd need a month just to find where the floor is.

Dunc
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Reply By: Ron N - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 12:59

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 12:59
One has to remember, there are many upsides to self-isolation if you happen to contract the COVID-19 virus ....

1. You get to talk to yourself a lot. That's probably much better than listening to BS from mates down at the pub.

2. You get all those "important jobs", you've been "meaning to do", done at last. Procrastination is a distant memory.

3. You save thousands on fuel, and wear and tear on your vehicle, by not driving around every day.

4. No Mormons or JW's will ever bother you again - particularly if you put a warning notice on the front door, that you're in quarantine.

5. Because the airlines have reduced flying to 10% of their normal schedules, the reduction in pollution is enormous, and the Greenhouse Effect is being reversed, right as we speak.

6. You have an entirely new level of appreciation for toilet paper, and its value - and for the work that went into making it, and for the people who have slaved to manufacture it, and deliver it to you.

7. You have learnt how to cook a hundred new recipes, to deal with your massive stockpile of food supplies.

8. You have learnt a whole new range of skills in storage, racking, and packing, to enable you to fit in the 3 new freezers and fridges you bought, to store all your new level of food supplies - and to fit those food supplies into all your freezers and fridges.

9. You have reached a new high in medical and health knowledge, thanks to the internet, friends and news media - and you can now speak to doctors at their level, and correctly pronounce drug words such as Idarucizumab.


However, there are downsides to the self-isolation regime ....

1. There are only so many cat videos one can watch, before terminal boredom sets in, and you know exactly what the cat is going to do, before it does it.

2. After watching 6 re-runs of "Three Days of the Condor", you are becoming immune to suspenseful situations.

3. After watching 16 movies similar to "Three Days of the Condor", you are starting to become paranoiac, and finding you can no longer trust anyone. You start to look for conspiracy sites on the internet - and believe everything they say.

4. All your food is starting to taste the same, despite trying all the new recipes you learnt. You're hanging out for that mouth-watering pasta the local Italian cafe made - but they've shut down for the duration.

5. Your travel and flight plans for the year have just filled your wastebasket.

Cheers, Ron.


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Follow Up By: Gramps - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:10

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:10
1. There are only so many cat videos one can watch, before terminal boredom sets in, and you know exactly what the cat is going to do, before it does it.

Sorry Ron, never get sick of LuLu on Kittisaurus LOL

Regards
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Reply By: Life Member - Rob 49 - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:37

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:37
First thing on my list is to build a bridge to the other side. My problem is I can't get any locally sourced steel or cement for my project as it all comes from overseas today. I don't have a plan either, but at least I'm not on my own there. Keep laughing
I took the road less travelled........ and didn't see any-one.

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Reply By: Member - Outback Gazz - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:43

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:43
What about a regular Friday thread called .........


Friday Funny 4wd, Caravan & Camping Stories !

We have all either done or have seen others do dumb and silly things like .....

Leave the caravan keys at home
Get bogged somewhere stupid
Get lost badly
Lose a boat at the ramp
Leave a family member behind
Practical jokes on your travel buddies
Leave the tent or swag at home
First time campers setting their tent and other things up
First time caravanners trying to reverse

The list is endless - I know I have done a few dumb things that I can laugh about now - like when I was living in Adelaide and went to the Birdsville Races in the late eighties and when heading back home got to Bedourie before we realized we were going the wrong way lol

And I'm sure people could tell their story without Big Brother getting upset and telling us what we can and can't do :)

I'm sure there are some very very funny stories out there


Happy and safe travels ( in the right direction )

Gazz

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Follow Up By: Ozi M - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 15:30

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 15:30
Your story of going the wrong way is something I have always dreaded.

The distances are simply so vast that it is quite simple to run out of fuel before getting back to civilisation.

My friends who have never been "out there" often scoff at those poor souls that run out of fuel and perish.

I try to explain that you can be on the wrong road for 100kl before you realise it and then you would have to backtrack, then get on the right road and make it to the next fuel stop

I always like to have enough fuel for twice the planned distance, a Prado 150l tank helps !

Sat Nav has lowered the risk but not all apps work out there, a beautiful but dangerous place is the Outback
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Follow Up By: Bob Y. - Qld - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 17:31

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 17:31
December 1965, I’d spent 18 months on a station on the Barkly Tablelands, had flown to Mt Isa in one of Connellen’s Beechcraft Barons, and the next morning was standing on the edge of town, chasing a lift to Cloncurry. (Opposite where Supercheap now stands was the edge of town then)

Got a lift sooner after, and met up with my driver, a mate’s uncle, for the trip back to the Blue Mountains. He had an EH wagon, 2 spares & extra petrol, so we should be right?

Got to Winton well after dark, drove through the centre of town, over the railway line & ended up at Corfield, a little dot on the map on the road to Hughenden. We should’ve been going to Longreach! Didn’t run out of petrol, but about a mile east of Rimbanda, a siding halfway between Winton & Longreach, we got our 3rd puncture & there we stayed until the RACQ brought out some new tyres.

The remainder of the trip was relatively uneventful.

Bob

Seen it all, Done it all.
Can't remember most of it.

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Follow Up By: 9900Eagle - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 17:53

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 17:53
I did a load from Cairns to Rocky, it had been along day and night. Coming out of Townsville I was trundling along and all was rosy with the world, when I came across this big hill, I thought to myself who put a big hill on the Townsville Mackay section of the Bruce. Always nice to do a little detour out to Mingela for some sight seeing.

Now that was a slow trip for the Slow one.
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Follow Up By: Member - Michael P (QLD) - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 19:17

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 19:17
Left on a 3 monthish trip to Darwin and beyond leaving the garage door open , full access to the house. After a couple of days one of My neighbours disconnected the door opener & pulled it shut. Obviously He couldn't lock it.
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Follow Up By: Member - Outback Gazz - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 20:08

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 20:08
" Left on a 3 monthish trip to Darwin and beyond leaving the garage door open , full access to the house. "

Ha ha - did something similar. Had some Pommie friends over who wanted to go " camping in the bush " while they were here over Christmas. Plan was for a few days in the Flinders Rangers, over to William Creek then to Coober Pedy then back to Adelaide. Being Christmas I bought a quite large leg of ham that I thought would feed us all for a while, ham and eggs for brekkie, ham sangas for lunch etc along with a big cook up for a belated Christmas lunch. Only took about five minutes of searching to work out there was no ham to be found in or on either vehicle !

Got home about 8 days later to find the fridge door still open and the ham on the kitchen table !

Wasn't really funny at the time but I sure can laugh about it now hahahaha


Cheers
Gazz

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Follow Up By: Zippo - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 22:31

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 22:31
Gazz, I can identify with "Get bogged somewhere stupid".

Just offshore at St Andrews (New Brunswick, Canuckistan) is Ministers Island. There is a natural causeway that connects it to the "mainland" at low tide, at which time people can drive across to explore the island. The tide times - and safe transit times - are posted locally.

So, armed with our rental Passat we set off towards the island. The causeway had a few deep holes, and vehicles were avoiding them to the right or left. We went right and the car sank to the floor in the wet accumulation which was like riverbed sand. FWD had no traction whatsoever, and if there were any tie-down/tow points they were well and truly underground.

Fortunately the locals were a helpful bunch, and after a fair bit of backtrack clearing we were able to reverse out of the papa-oscar-oscar. Decided that visiting the island wasn't that important, and better than trying to explain a submerged vehicle to Hertz.
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Follow Up By: Member - Outback Gazz - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 22:35

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 22:35
Ha Ha - love it Zippo !
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Follow Up By: Parafan - Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 08:38

Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 08:38
Fishing trip to Moreton Island. 10 hungry blokes. 1 pre made frozen stew for when first night fever prevents sensible cooking. Lesson learnt - don't use the old ice cream container to freeze the stew. Wife and kids not happy - no ice cream. 10 hungry blokes in middle of winter looking at melted ice cream and no stew. 1 not so popular bloke checking his sleeping bag for rest of week and hearing story retold every year since.
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Follow Up By: Member - Outback Gazz - Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 10:34

Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 10:34
Parafan - hahaha that's gold !!
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Follow Up By: Ron N - Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 11:13

Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 11:13
SIL's brother and mates decided to go 4WD'ing and camping down to a secret beach/fishing spot, for around a week.

The 4WD track to the spot was long and torturous and bumpy. It's a long way back to civilisation and they're set to enjoy it.

As with all young blokes, they took twice as much as they needed, and had to take a 6x4 trailer to carry it all.

Part of the necessary supplies was about 3 cartons of cans of beer - thrown into the bottom of the trailer, in the cardboard boxes they came in. They weren't secured tightly.

Young blokes finally get to secret spot and overjoyed to find no-one there, and they get the prime camping position.

They set up camp and start to unload supplies - and find bottom of trailer very damp, and cartons unusually light!

Inspection reveals constant bashing around on track has worn pinholes in the bottom of every single can, and every single can is empty!!

It was a joyless holiday with no beer. Good lesson learnt.

Cheers, Ron.

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Follow Up By: Banjo (WA) - Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 13:59

Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 13:59
Sorry - I laughed. A million apologies, now I'll go and put myself in the naughty corner!
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Reply By: Bob Y. - Qld - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:48

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 13:48
Good suggestion Eagle, as I was devastated that I couldn't do a re-run of the "rat in the beans" yarn in Friday Funnies RIP. :-(. Maybe we need a catchy title that could be used weekly, as we regale the reading audience with our weekly happenings..................or breakages!

And so, I put my hand up, I broke something...............

Yesterday, I was travelling down the Cork Mail Road, SW of Winton, to collect a load of gypsum, when I smelt a hot, rubbery smell. (Don't get excited, I'm not going to relate any Peter Old Roman Numerals) Got to a good spot, on top of a ridge, and pulled over into the table drain, where I noticed the centre bearing seemed to be in distress!

A sat phone call to the workshop had the mechanic out in not much over an hour, removed the faulty shaft & were back in town at midday. Parts were ordered and they should be here as I type this.

With my truck u/s, I took the day off and washed our CX-5, ready for a trip on Sunday. Catch ya later......
Seen it all, Done it all.
Can't remember most of it.

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Follow Up By: 9900Eagle - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 17:39

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 17:39
Geez Bob, hope you gave that bearing a cuddle to destress it, anything to chuck a sickie. Ha.Ha.

Cheers slow one.
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Reply By: Bushranger1 - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 16:41

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 16:41
G'day all,
Now here is a happy business owner.
Went to the local country Stihl dealer & his sales have rocketed because everyone is staying home & working in the garden. Selling mowers & all sorts of power equipment. You couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

Cheers
Stu
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Reply By: Member - Wildmax - Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 23:43

Friday, Mar 20, 2020 at 23:43
Good idea Eagle, we can do with some positive news.
In our household, the dog has had an hour walk on the beach every day, we've found some good new stuff on Netflix, ordered another 3 and a half cases of wine (for medicinal purposes), managed a game of golf in the fresh air without any of my playing companions coughing or sneezing, and had coffee with healthy friends (snuck in an illegal cuddle there).
And our local supermarket still has toilet paper and rice.
To cap it off, the Opposition Leader and the Greens Leader both said the State Premier was doing a good job - now that's a first!!
Wildmax
2018 Hilux and Black Wolf 210 tent - for the outback tracks less travelled
Formerly an AOR Eclipse and a TVan

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Follow Up By: 9900Eagle - Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 06:16

Saturday, Mar 21, 2020 at 06:16
Wow! That is good news, I think the political parties must have caught another some other virus that makes them happy to tell the truth.
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Reply By: Ron N - Monday, Mar 23, 2020 at 11:33

Monday, Mar 23, 2020 at 11:33
Latest news just in ....

1. The Mexicans have told Trump to hurry up and build the Wall ...

2. All sports events have been cancelled - but live boxing can still be seen in the toilet paper aisles at Coles, Woolworths and Aldi ...

3. The cleaning lady just called and said she was working remotely from home this month and would send us instructions on what to do ...

4. If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine, you should've been seeing a doctor long before the virus hit ...

5. Pfizer is pouring hundreds of millions of dollars, and all their drug research efforts, into finding a new anti-depressant drug, to help Americans transition into quarantine ...

6. This stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You've lost more than half your monetary assets, and you've still got your wife!

Cheers, Ron.
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