Raising boys - perhaps the tide is just beginning to turn...?

Sadly ..... Too little, too late!

Ha ha, fantastic book, I was given a copy at xmas to pass on to my boy when he is old enough. The sort of book I wish I had when I was young. I sure will be passing it ondoing.

Ill also teach him about all the finer things in life that a boy needs to know- how to shoot, drink export, rum, and cook a BBQ. Wont be no 'emo' kids in our clan, no sir, not here.

Great book, as a father of three boys ( and one girl), it's a constant struggle to pry them from the PS2, PS3 or Xbox. Combine that with dwindling places to explore and rising costs, sometimes I wonder where we're heading. But sitting in the tinnie, on a river that took 2-3 days 4 wheeling to get to, with those three boys is always worth the struggle and bs.
Dusty.

Gday,
My 11 year old daughter drives my 80 series on her own and my 8 year old would but cant reach the pedals but steers like a mad man ( controlled slides no drama)
They both can hit a beer can on a stick at 20m with a slug gun (standing) and wouldnt know what a Latte was.
We got bogged to the arse in a creek bed the other day with the camper trailer on and they were out of the car taking the valve caps off and getting the shovel out before I could finish my beer. The Daughter suggested that she drove and I pushed but was a bit worried about how far she had to go before she could turn around with the trailer on and Me and the young fella didnt like the idea of her driving off with the esky.
Kids are a reflection of their parents and always will be ( maybee a few added ripples).
Any way teas finished so we' re going out to the shed to polish my bikes and make slingshots.
( no latte sipping fags around here!) no offence to those who have had a latte!
Cheers

The "system", hasn't been male friendly for a long time. Be it schools or just pc companies, you are more likely to find token males in far too many places. These places then become alien places for boys. Then we wonder why they don't achieve their full potential. The same could be said for girls...30 years ago.
But the spread of mediocraty in our schools and universities has been constant and relentless. This hasn't been helped by pressure groups of "other" sexes muddying the waters.
As a society we have stood by idely with a "she'll be right" or "why doesn't the Govt do something" attitude.
And now I'm afraid we're reaping what we've sown. Whether its a desireable outcome or not is up to us.
The Berlin Wall came down a long time ago. Affirmative Action in the wrong places for the wrong reasons, doesn't do anyone any good, male or female; but unlike the Wall, it's not cast in stone.

Looks like an interesting book. I will add it to my reading list.

The next on my reading list is called "He'll Be OK Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men" by Celia Lashlie. The author is a former prison guard. The info on the back says in part... In this funny, honest, no-nonsense book Ceilia Lashlie reveals what goes on inside the world of boys, and that it is an entirely different world from that of girls. .....she offers parents especially mothers practical and reassuring advice on raising their boys to become good, loving, articulate men.

Like I say it's next on my list, I'll let you know if its as good as it appears on the surface. From the intervue I heard on the radio she talks a lot of sense.

Duncs

I think the biggest problem today is, fathers don't play a big enough roll in the boys up bringing.

My old man would take me to football or base ball during the wet season, in the dry I can't remember a week end that my sister and I couldn't take a friend camping with us.

We took our 4 1/2 year old camping in Kakadu at 6 weeks, to the Kimberly's at 13 months and we just did 14,000 km doing 1/2 a lap of Oz camping.

Today he even helped me do the wheel bearings on one of my trucks, Tomorrow he will help pump the oil, when I do the diffs , gearbox and transfer, he loves helping me do this, as he said today," Hey dad I'm your best helper hey".

98% of his toys are out door toys, the indoor toys are for a rainy days.

I'm lucky I guess that I can work 8 months of the year, then be able to spend a lot of time with the little man generaly camping or travelling.

So Dads get out there and teach your Boys to be Boys, Because if you let the Wife do it they will end up being Girls.LOL

Cheers Steve.

The kids out rotating the tyre of his motocross bike right now so that it has a sharper leading edge for to'morrows race.

It will take a good hour but its worth nearly 1/4 second per lap.

We will be in the mud and drizzle before sunrise to-morrow giving it a final tune before the start gate drops.

Anyone who wants to help us with our femine side can come and read to us at
7am tomorrow during scrutineering.

Robin Miller

Gooday,
Just remember that ALL Children will grow into The Adults that their Parents teach them to be!!!!!.
Cheers,
Boroma604.

It's been in my bookcase for a few months now.........should be compulsory reading.

This is a general whinge, not flaiming any contributor to this thread.

Given I'm a social worker specialising in workplace mediation, relationship and stress counselling, harassment, coaching managers and rehabilitating bullies I frankly get a bit peeved by criticism from people who are happy to chuck stones but not get themselves involved in actually working with people. Whether we get called do gooders or politically correct, I'd much rather do what I do than be a do badder....

If you care to look at the explosion of services for men around the country in the last decade, the huge raising in awareness of men's issues - it's frankly the biggest revolution in human service provision in my career of 20+ years. I can almost guarantee that all the workers trying their a..se off to help men and boys would fully support this book.

My boys are not into the shooting and car tinkering that I used to do when younger - I grew out of shooting stuff at around 22 but I still tinker to the extent of running vege oil in my cruiser so don't point the finger about not wanting to take risks. But what they do get into, with my daughter, is the art of taking acceptable risks and they've been helped with this by doing Scouts.

What helps boys, and men, is to build resilience and to learn how to take acceptable risks. There are probably many ways of achieving that, but Scouts has worked for my kids. Not shooting, motorcross or 4WD'ing. It's their life not mine, I give them the freedom to choose even though I'd really like some help with servicing the cruiser now and again!

One poster above talks about the lack of decent male role models in boys lives - the book itself shows a Dad giving up his work to routine to connect with his boy. You gotta get it that we're all on the same side here, trying to keep our boys alive and grow them into decent men.

Ranting over

Tim

Hi Mike

I saw this book the other day, and thought I might get it, I'm keen to read it for myself, but also because I have a boy, Callum, who seems to relish in things that boys do. I also have a daughter, Tegan, so can compare the two. Both have the same influences, same chances and choice, and both choose differently, while one - Tegan is into not dolls [takes after her mum there] but animals etc, and wants to be a vet, Callum is a bit like Sid from Toy Story and likes to either take things apart, including toys, or make things, hence he has a lot of construction stuff. There are exceptions, Tegan enjoys tearing around on a quad bike, Callum, [as a result of a minor prang on one] does not at the moment.

I"m all for kids being kids, Callum just had a birthday - 6 - his favorite gift, was a
toilet shaped pot of whooppee putty definitely not very socially correct, but very bloody funny, especially when he lets one rip just as Nana is about to sit down...I hope not to "protect" them, but to encourage them to learn and if that means a few slip ups, so be it, didnt emotionally scar myself or my brother, won't hurt my kids either. They play in the mud, get grotty and you know what...it washes off...let them imagine, my kids just made dinosaur footprints in the garden out of the mud....I thought that was fantastic..the best we can do is give them as much information about things as we can, encourage them to find answers we don't have and enjoy every minute of them.

Lyn

PS..As tegan has just broken her wrist result of accident at school, Callum has been jealous as hell, and I'm waiting for him to take a dive off something so he can have one too.

Sounds like a great book. My kids have been camping and fishing since they were 2 years old. They still do it now but they have all have left home doing there own thing now.

We were always involved in thier sport and did majority of things as a family and I feel this will follow on in the future for my lot.

Spend as much time as you can you only get one shot at it. :)

Brian

Many boys will not be taught by a male teacher until they hit secondary school. For them, school is a female thing which they sometimes have great difficulty adjusting to.
In an age where "family" breakdowns are rife, with the result that many kids dont have dads around very often, boys don't have a role model until its too late.
Any male who actually enjoys the comapany of kids, either his own or in a professional capacity is automatically "sus". How can we expect males to go into these teaching areas when it's akin to painting a target on their back ?
It's a bloody sick society out there !

Any change has a long way to go, our students went all of the way through pre-kindy, kindy, pre-school and primary school without encountering a male teacher. This primary school was 'blessed' with a full representation of women in all of its higher positions.

Yes, I know that the women's movement believes that women are better placed to guide boys and young men on what masculinity should be and the gender of the teacher doesn;'t matter as long as she is a woman.l But hey, the subject State primary school in SEQld banned chasing games on the oval 'because Boy Scouts play those games' and the principal has done her level best to introduce small court sports in the place of football, cricket and so on. The principal and her deputy heads were not convinced by a delegation of girls who, like the boys, did not really want to spend breaks walking sedately around gossiping among themselves or sitting with a straight back in the library.

We very much regret not moving all of our children to private schools earlier - at year 5 preferably. They now blooming in a Lutheran secondary college and are much more comfortable because they are treated as people. There are probably good State schools around too, but not locally in our neck of the woods.

EV700

I think political correctness is not the real problem. About 10 years ago I ran a program in Victoria called "Click Off-Click On." The aim of the program was to get kids and families to turn off their tv sets and monitors and do real things. The project put me in touch with all kinds of people and organizations revolving around this topic. Three things emerged as the biggest causes of sedentary lifestyles for kids
1. Absolute paranoia of schools/governments/individuals/organizations etc about being sued. Just about every aspect of activities that might be done with kids is so tied up with red tape that it just isn't worth all the drama to do things. Playground design, excursions, activities etc etc. Mind you the paranoia was justified. The Australian public has followed the American example and now sues at the drop of the proverbial.
2. Changes to working arrangements with parents having to work more and more shift hours.
3. Cramming school curriculum with lots of new subjects so that organized sport has been almost squeezed out of existence.

Given this background and the availability computers and tv's to fill in the time, the results aren't surprising.

It's a great book, but tongue in cheek.