OT: Man's best friend

Submitted: Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:11
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Why is it so hard to say goodbye?

I've been a mess all day since the wife this morning (was out fishing) and said she thinks it's time. Sasha had been very sick for 3 weeks which was covered up by drugs but this morning was different.

She wanted to jump up into the bed ( hasn't done this since last winter) but couldn't so the wife lifted her in for one last cuddle. When she went out this morning she went around to just about evryone's house in our culdasac, obviously to say goodbye. She knew her time had come.

Both my wife and I were there when the needle went in and we stayed with her for another 10mins or so.

RIP Sasha
11.30am
28-1-08
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Reply By: Shaker - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:20

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:20
Sincere condolences.
I have been in the same situation with my 'mate' of 18 years, at least you were there at the end, as I was, you owe them at least that.

I know it seems callous & unfeeling, to even think about a 'replacement', but believe me, it does ease the pain.
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Follow Up By: Shaker - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:22

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:22
BTW, make sure a 'replacement' is a different breed, otherwise you will never stop comparing.
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Reply By: Member - Richard K (NSW) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:26

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:26
It sounds like you gave her a very good life

Best wishes and hang in there
Rich
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Reply By: Mike Harding - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:38

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:38
>Why is it so hard to say goodbye?

Because we know how to love and we feel the pain and grief when that is taken from us and that is part of the intensity of life. Mogul: feel sadness for those who do not feel such emotions for they have missed so much - one cannot experience joy without also being able to feel sadness.

Your post brings tears to my eyes - quite a few of them :) But they are tears of both sadness and joy. Sadness at the loss and joy at the remembering of the love, affection and closeness my dog and I felt to each other.

Seeing the degree of your pain it is obvious Sasha was well loved and that is, indeed, a jewel in life many, both animals and humans never experience - she was a lucky dog :)

As Alfred Lord Tennyson said:
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

Give it time Mogul (been two years for me now) and you will be ready to love again - clearly you have the capacity.

Go well Mogul.

Mike Harding
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Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:40

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:40
ya big woos! great post Mike! thanx u said it all, I tried below.
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Reply By: Mogul - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:43

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:43
She was a 7 year old rotti cross (we think with a ridgeback) and the most adorable dog you could ever wish for.

All the kids in our street loved playing with her and she would just sit there and let them pull her tail, ears, etc., whenshe had enough she just walked away.

At 4 she developed Lymphoma and had 4 months of chemo. Vet said back then that we may get 6 months, 12 months maybe even 2 years and we ended up with 3 very good years.

Every holiday and camping trip was based around where we could take her with us. She even came on our honeymoon. Comes to work with us everyday.

Hopefully our 3 year old will understand, he thinks she is going to make a new star in the sky and will come out everynight to goodnight. He said his goodbye's this morning and then went to his friend's place to play.
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Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 18:11

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 18:11
Another thought occurred to me today Mogul which, I hope, heartens you: it's been almost two years since I had my dog put to sleep but about three months ago I felt it was time to print a lovely photograph I took of her and put it on the wall - I can look at it now and smile with the memories of the joy we had together rather than feel sad at the loss :)

Time heals all things.

Mike Harding
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Reply By: Member - Doug T (FNQ) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:47

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:47
Dusty sends his condolences.





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Reply By: Mr Fawlty - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:55

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 16:55
Mogul, It's the hardest thing to do in your life but also it's one of the greatest gestures you can make to an animal that does not have any hope of further quality of life. Last year I went through the exact same act as you with two loved dogs, both had cancer. It knocked me for a 6, I was very upset for a few weeks after but I realised that it was the best thing to do, hang in there. If you are close to an RSPCA shelter they offer a grieving service which I found really helpful. I have tears in my eyes typing this, I feel for you.

I found solace when I got a new dog, this one is my own. A graduate from the RSPCA, Pointer X, will probably outlive me...

Mike Harding as usual makes sense, I echo his sentiments...
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Reply By: Member - Dunworkin (WA) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:06

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:06
Hi Mogul & family, so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Sasha, reading your post has brought tears to my eyes, some tears for sadness for you, the others for joy that we still have our girl Simba (photo at bottom of reply) who is fighting bone cancer but seems to be in remission after her leg amputation and chemo early last year.

The general feeling is to go and get another puppy, this is probably good advice particularly with your little boy, it could help take away that void that has been created.

Good luck

Cheers

D


Simba, our much missed baby.

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Reply By: Bonz (Vic) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:38

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:38
Mate, its a dog. Get over it..........

Thats what a friend of mine said when our shepherd Sunny went the same way. I was the big tough guy, took him off, didn't want to upset the kids so they stayed at home. Little did I know that my eldest son would be so sad cause he didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I know the feeling, I didnt get a chance to say goodbye to him and his sister and her best friend either, neither should I have needed to but we dont know what around the corner eh?

He had a dog, Whim, that outlived him, and who is now old and slowing down and I absolutely fear the day that Whim succumbs to old age, another link to our precious children gone. I can hardly read this thru the tears welling in my eyes. Dammit.

Its only a dog mate, let go when you need to.
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Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:47

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:47
I think this is an area you know more about than any of us Bonz and your advice to let go is wise but as i.M.ust.y once said to me "Dogs are people too" :) It's all about love really I think and that is, without doubt, the most valuable aspect of life.

Mike Harding

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Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:52

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:52
Yep we let go but we never forget, nor should we. A slap on the back and wake up to yourself only reflects a lack of understanding for the bond we build with our loved ones.

That Musto, he's lived a few lifetimes in one too, and we share a sense of triumph over loss. Its never a victory cause its a lose-lose situation, but eventually we let go, not cause we have to but because we are ready to.
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Follow Up By: Mike Harding - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:56

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 17:56
Exactly, Bonz.
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Follow Up By: Jim from Best Off Road - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:30

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:30
Geoff,

You are an unusually inspiring and strong man. I frankly don't know how you do it.

And you've always got a smile on your face.

It is a pleasure to have had your company the few times we have met.

Salt of the earth.

Fond Regards,

Jim.

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Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 23:02

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 23:02
Thanx Jim I don't do it alone mate
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Follow Up By: Waynepd (NSW) - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:56

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:56
I second that thought Jim and look forward to meeting this man Bonz one day myself...the humour and strength is amazing.......plus i still owe him a hug from Belinda LOL

Regarding the loss of a canine mate, i had to take my mate to the vet years ago to be put to sleep and this was before children had blessed our lives so he was our kid.

It was the first time i remember blubbering since i was a child, quite simpy it hurts like hell and i think Mike has hit on it.

We are on our second dog since then and she's looking a little wornout at 8 years so i can't help but think of the time coming again in a few years with trepidation

I'll just go get a hanky now, thanks
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Reply By: pop2jocem - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 18:26

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 18:26
Mogul, you grieve as long you as you need to. Obviously your little mate Sasha was a loved and valuable part of your family. Mike Harding, Bonz and others seem to be able to put in words what I am not gifted enough to do. I too have lost a couple of four legged friends over the years, I can only offer my own sympathies. As I read these posts the pain and tears come back. I think Mike H made comment that we should feel sorry for those that are unable to love so deeply. Sorry Mate

Pop
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Reply By: Member - Kim M (VIC) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 19:01

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 19:01
Mogul

I was sitting reading a book this morning. Damn Dog started to carry on like a pork chop. I then realised she was getting jealous of the book. After a fair bit of barking, and shouting (from me) she got her own way as usual.

I take this mutt with me just about everywhere. In the bush we sit around the fire together, and have a natter about nothing. She sleeps with me in the car and snores her head off all night.

We walk in the bush together, she always stops to see if I'm following..... once satisfied, off she toddles again but always comes back.

Damn Dog and I are joined at the hip, so I know what your going though. Probably it's the little things that you share with a dog that are most Important. My commiserations to you and your family.

Regards

Kim
AnswerID: 284169

Reply By: Gob & Denny(hampton park vic) - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 19:30

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 19:30
goodday mogul
you have my wife and my sincere sympathy we had our old girl of 12 years put to sleep 2 weeks ago along with my grand daughters 30yo 1st pony it wasnt a real fancy day for us
its a fair bastard

steve
AnswerID: 284176

Reply By: jdbb - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:10

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:10
So sorry to hear about your loss.

Mac's time came last year. He was the best red kelpie - had him 14 years. We knew it was coming but that didn't make it any easier. When his legs started going we put in a ramp so he could get up the stairs onto the deck. In the end he just couldn't stand.

I notice it most when we have birthdays in the house. As soon as anyone started singing Happy Birthday, Mac would start barking and wouldn't stop until we finished. I'm not sure when we will start singing Happy Birthday again.

I'm sure he knew what was going on. We were so upset.
AnswerID: 284188

Reply By: Bros 1 - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:41

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:41
Mogul,
The good thing about a dog that you love and care for is that the dog will gladly lay down its life for you.
This has happened once to me and the memory stays forever.
Cheers,
Bros.
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Reply By: mfewster - Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:59

Monday, Jan 28, 2008 at 20:59
Thanks for the post Mogul. We fully understand the depth of attachment of an individual or the family to their dog. I reckon, without exaggeration that our dog is a crucial part of the cement that holds the family together. Somehow, nothing makes us feel more human than a dog.
AnswerID: 284206

Reply By: fisho64 - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 01:38

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 01:38
Ditto Mogul, to all other comments.

you can search my thread from 1st Oct when I had the same situation of a 17 year old mutt.
Wait a while and get a pup, I intended to wait a lot longer but found one in a bad way, flea ridden, wormy and living in squalor.
Now he sleeps under our bed!
But he isnt forgotten, and is buried outside my kitchen window.
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Reply By: Shaker - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 11:12

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 11:12
These are very true .......

What is man without the beasts?
If all the beasts were gone, men would die from
great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens
to the beasts, soon happens to man.
All things are connected.
-Chief Seattle (Duwamish Tribe)

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you
more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings
AnswerID: 284293

Reply By: Sand Man (SA) - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 17:49

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 17:49
Mogul,

It is sad indeed to take this step, but think of it in this way.

What is best for the dog?
That is what our vet said to us and this helped a fair bit.

I lasted one hour and then went and bought another dog.

We have had two female dogs. The first was a cross Border Collie/Kelpie and she was a lady.

The second was a Border Collie and she was a "broad" but lovable all the same.

Now we have another Border Collie, but a male this time so I wouldn't compare his nature as much with the females. Well, he's a....."Charlie" with quite a strong character. Now 17 months old, he is just starting to settle, but it's worth the effort anyway. Bloody bugger has destroyed "everything" in the yard. If you accidently leave something out, stiff. He chews it whatever it may be.
He is an excellent "traveller" in the car and a great companion all the same.

You will know if you miss "man's best friend" enough to get another dog and see it bond with you and you with it.

Best wishes mate!

Bill


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Reply By: Member - Richard K (NSW) - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:11

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:11
further to my post above... and for anyone who doesn't understand what all the fuss is about...

The wonderful tome I have for dunny reading at the moment is a compilation of all the "Great Working Dog Stories" books that were published a few years ago..bought it for about a tenner a few months back and everytime I go for a "sit and think" I read many stories about these amazing creatures..I often have to stay there for a while till my eyes have dried up and I can rejoin the real world...how about a dog that came a very close second at a sheep dog trial and when the winner's owner comes back from commiserating the 2nd-place's owner, he is quite shaken up..when his friend asks why, he says "i just spoke to the 2nd place's owner - his dog has been totally blind for 2 years"....

I can highly reccommend the books...

Rich
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Reply By: Member - Richard K (NSW) - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:17

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:17
Mogul - check out thread no 43070 for a kindred spirit
AnswerID: 284426

Follow Up By: Member - Richard K (NSW) - Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:17

Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008 at 23:17
http://www.exploroz.com/Forum/View.aspx?fq=43070&p=/Forum/Default.asp?s=0&PN=1
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