The missus has just uttered 4 little words that send a bloke to panic stations.
"We need to talk".
Endeavouring to keep the up-coming torture at bay for as long as possible I told her I was busy at the puter, so I swiched it on.....lol.
Your've got to be careful with the little white lies as they are the ones that get you into the most bleep .
Anyway, under pressure to find an excuse to be at the puter, a subject came to mind which at times, whilst camping, has provoked sudden fits of rage.
Those stupid little things that annoy me.
MILK:
How many times have you tried to unscrew the top off a plastic milk bottle and can never seperate the top from the lock ring.
If and when you do, have the lock ring drop into the mug as you pour.
Carton milk is even worse, trying to pull the rip-tab off without squeezing the contents everywhere. Once off, try getting the milk to pour into the mug without spreading half a litre on the ground around it.
CHEESE:
Your hungry, all you want is a cheese sandwich while the stew in the
camp oven isn't quite ready. The bread and butter is the easy bit, try finding the flap on that wrapped cheese slice, when you do you find that the cheese has become one with the wrapper and has to be scapped off with a knife.
TEA:
Your sitting by the fire, billys starting to bubble, tea bags in the mug with the draw string tag over the edge.
Well, you know exactly whats going to happen as soon as you pour.....yep, scalded fingers trying to pull the tag out of the mug.....allways, without fail.
CANNED FOOD:
Just as you get to the end of the run with the opener the top drops into the can. Too lazy to find a knife you lose a finger nail and half the finger trying to pull it out.
BEER:
How much skin do you have to lose off the palm of your hand before you realise the stubby isnt a screw-top.
MATCHES:
Dont know what it is about matches these days. Kindling is all set, couple of small logs ready to go. Pack of 50 matches, the only problem is finding one that will not break, split, send a lit head into the bushes or for that matter, even ignite.
I'm on a roll now but the BOSS, no not the EO member, the real one, still wants to TALK....have to go now. Anyone else to add to this list ?
Back soon.....I hope......lol.
Cheers.....Lionel.