Those little annoying things !!!

Submitted: Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 12:11
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The missus has just uttered 4 little words that send a bloke to panic stations.


"We need to talk".


Endeavouring to keep the up-coming torture at bay for as long as possible I told her I was busy at the puter, so I swiched it on.....lol.
Your've got to be careful with the little white lies as they are the ones that get you into the most bleep .

Anyway, under pressure to find an excuse to be at the puter, a subject came to mind which at times, whilst camping, has provoked sudden fits of rage.
Those stupid little things that annoy me.

MILK:
How many times have you tried to unscrew the top off a plastic milk bottle and can never seperate the top from the lock ring.
If and when you do, have the lock ring drop into the mug as you pour.

Carton milk is even worse, trying to pull the rip-tab off without squeezing the contents everywhere. Once off, try getting the milk to pour into the mug without spreading half a litre on the ground around it.

CHEESE:
Your hungry, all you want is a cheese sandwich while the stew in the camp oven isn't quite ready. The bread and butter is the easy bit, try finding the flap on that wrapped cheese slice, when you do you find that the cheese has become one with the wrapper and has to be scapped off with a knife.

TEA:
Your sitting by the fire, billys starting to bubble, tea bags in the mug with the draw string tag over the edge. Well, you know exactly whats going to happen as soon as you pour.....yep, scalded fingers trying to pull the tag out of the mug.....allways, without fail.

CANNED FOOD:
Just as you get to the end of the run with the opener the top drops into the can. Too lazy to find a knife you lose a finger nail and half the finger trying to pull it out.

BEER:
How much skin do you have to lose off the palm of your hand before you realise the stubby isnt a screw-top.

MATCHES:
Dont know what it is about matches these days. Kindling is all set, couple of small logs ready to go. Pack of 50 matches, the only problem is finding one that will not break, split, send a lit head into the bushes or for that matter, even ignite.

I'm on a roll now but the BOSS, no not the EO member, the real one, still wants to TALK....have to go now. Anyone else to add to this list ?

Back soon.....I hope......lol.


Cheers.....Lionel.

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Reply By: get outmore - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 12:16

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 12:16
I just think she wants to let you know shes not so intrested in doing the remote bush tracks with you anymore
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:01

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:01
Davoe, I think there maybe some truth there mate.

She's planning a trip from the Helenas to Ora Banda and the look on her face when I said "great, when do we go".

Cheers.....Lionel.
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Reply By: Member - Ed C (QLD) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 12:17

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 12:17
Geez, you must be a useless bugga............... I don't have any problems such as you describe ;-)))

Hope ya have better luck with SWMBO ;-)

Catch ya later..................

:)
Confucius say.....
"He who lie underneath automobile with tool in hand,
....Not necessarily mechanic!!"

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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:04

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:04
Ed, never figured out why the blokes at work call me Frank Spencer.

Anyway, they are an accident prone lot, suppose some mothers do have them...lol.
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Reply By: Member - Neville & Sally C (VI - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 12:29

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 12:29
Hi Lionel,


I think you should have stayed and sorted it out with the Missus in the first place!
Hope all is well. It probably wasn't as bad as you thought. Don't cringe at those 4 words!, it's good to talk things through and remember that's how you discovered your love in the first place. As the saying goes..... Make love, not war.
Take care. safe travels
Bye Sally.
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 13:15

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 13:15
Hey there Sally,

Believe it or not Ive read Venus and Mars and it worked a treat.
A few simple tips had Paula eating out of my hand, I couldnt do a thing wrong.

Trouble is, it forces you to become what you naturaly arn't and over time you resort back to being who and what are.

No problems though, our little talk was about what plants to put along the front fence. I said yes to her every suggestion.

I spent $29.95 on that book just to learn to say "YES"...money well spent...lol.


Cheers.....Lionel.
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Reply By: Brian Purdue - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 13:43

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 13:43
If I may be so bold I think she wanted to talk to you about teabags. When the billy comes on the boil you throw the tea in the billy. Proper "bushies" do not muck around with such poofter things as "teabags"
YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:15

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:15
Brian, darling.....how did you know.

I never go bush without my Chanel No 5....great fly repellant.

After your've kissed a 'Proper Bushie' who wants tea leaves stuck to their teeth.

See ya around sweetie,


Cheers.....Lionel.
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Follow Up By: Brian Purdue - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 18:32

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 18:32
Sweetheart, the last time I had billy-tea was nearly sixty years ago. We did not use billys though. We used "quart-pots" the tea leaves sank to the bottom, and we drank it black no sugar. Those were the days when men were men and boys learned hard.
Hugs and kisses.
Brian
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Reply By: Member - Axle - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:12

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:12
When your sitting in the wobbly camp chair, trying to eat off ya useless plastic plate thats balanced on ya knees because theres no room on the table,

Next minute the thing is A over Z on the ground....LOL.


Cheers Axle.
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:18

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:18
Axle mate, thats one I'll never know about.

My knees are there to support my belly, not enough room for a plate....lol.


Cheers.....Lionel.
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Reply By: Member - Neville & Sally C (VI - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:16

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:16
Hi Lionel,
See, no trouble after all. I must get that book and read it. A spoon or a stick does a safer job with the tea bag! I knew you'd cop a ribbing for that one....LOL.
Our 2 pet hates when camping are.
In a designated camp ground, say an acre in size and no one else. Then in comes some one, and they drive all around then come and camp on top of you, nearly. I've been advised by a well known person to get out the ghetto blaster for these types.
No 2. They let their kids play football tennis or cricket right in front of camp. Your tent cops a pounding so you ask them to move away a bit. Mum and dad look at you as if you're Osama bin Laden.
The same happens in the tent section of C.P's only there, you're given the site and can't move. They should put people in at both ends alternatively and with a camp between. Then, only when it fills up you have direct neighbours next door but that can't be helped.
May be a tent area for quiet 40's plus!!!
They have lots of activities the kids can go and enjoy especially in the big 4's.
Anyway I must go now but after having such a worry.... remember that even little white lies will cme back and bite you on the B.
Take care, safe travels.
Bye Sally
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:32

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:32
HAHAHA, Sally

I'll save you $30.....best tip in the book for a woman.

NEVER FORCE A BLOKE TO TALK IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO.


Cheers......Lionel.
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Reply By: Member - Roachie (SA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:44

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 14:44
Quote: "The missus has just uttered 4 little words that send a bloke to panic stations. "

Geez.....I thought the 4 little words (that send a bloke into a panic) would have been.....

"I missed my period". hahahahahaha
AnswerID: 401116

Follow Up By: Sand Man (SA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 16:16

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 16:16
Oh you are so sick Bill:-)

How are you coping with the retirement thing Mate?
Would have loved to catch you up at the Berri gathering, but other travel plans must prevail.


Bill.
Bill


I'm diagonally parked in a parallel Universe!

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Follow Up By: Member - GREENDOG - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 16:54

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 16:54
I'm with you on that one Bill,that would bring me to my kness LOL,I spotted you and the gand south bound going passed Sheoak Log yesterday {Monday} i was in the truck headin for the Riverland.cheers GREENDOG
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Follow Up By: Member - Roachie (SA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 21:08

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 21:08
G'day Sandman and Greendog,
Retirement (semi) is really agreeing with me Bill. It's gunna be a shock to the system when I have to get back into a routine sometime later this year.

GD, we were heading to Adelaide after having spent a great couple of days at the site in Berri where the big EO gathering will be in a week and a half.....but we won't be able to make it to that event.

We came back home via Adeliade as we had to go to Gepps X home-makers centre to look at some stuff wrt our new house.

Cheers blokes,

Roachie
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:10

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:10
Mate, thats when I'd run for them thar hills.


Cheers......Lionel.
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Follow Up By: The Boss - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 00:09

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 00:09
Another 4 words that would bring a bloke to his knees if coming from his missus, and probably the worst possible 4 ever,


Your Son Is Gay!!!!

(No harm intended)

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Reply By: Member - Timbo - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 15:05

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 15:05
Only too happy to help you Lionel...

MILK:
Plastic bottles: if the ring doesn't come of the cap, place the cap upside-down on the table and hit it flat with the palm of your hand - the ring will drop off onto the table (don't put it back on the bottle)
Cartons: Sorry, I don't think there is a solution to your problem - don't buy cartons?!

CHEESE:
I assume you mean the individually wrapped slices - try running your fingernail lightly over each side, if you don't find the flap, run your fingernail the other direction (make sure your fingernail is almost parallel to the cheese with the 'edge' leading). Keeping your cheese in the fridge (and reducing the unwrapping time) will help it remain a separate entity from the plastic

TEA:
Drop the teabag into the mug, then stand the mug on the tag

CANNED FOOD:
Don't run the tin opener all the way around - if you leave 1-2cm uncut you can bend the lid up (there is usually a flat part on the top of older can openers you can use) and it won't fall into the tin. It will still have the sharp edge, but you should have no reason to touch it now.

BEER:
I can only sympathise with you there!

MATCHES:
Don't strike the match sideways - try holding the match pointing towards the box and strike it along the side of the box (eg. a glancing blow) so that the match takes the force lengthways rather than sideways.

Your problems are simple Lionel! Oh, forgot one...
THOSE FOUR WORDS:
Sorry, can't offer any suggestions to solve that one, but happy to hear it wasn't as bad as you feared! :-)
AnswerID: 401124

Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:14

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:14
Timbo for PM, however, your probably too clever for the job....lol.


Cheers......Lionel.
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Follow Up By: Member - Timbo - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:37

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:37
Ha ha - thanks for the vote of confidence - I'm not sure I've got a thick enough skin for that job! LOL.

If Mick O or John (both from Vic) come on here, they might recommend you solve the milk problem by using powdered milk - don't listen to them (you'll regret it!)
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Follow Up By: Member - Timbo - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:41

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:41
Oh, and I forgot to mention - I think your problems (at least the ones you told us about) are simply compared to those our country faces at the moment...
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Follow Up By: Member - Timbo - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:41

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 12:41
*simple (not simply)

sigh...
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Reply By: Member - Duncan W (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 16:35

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 16:35
Don't use milk horrible smelly stuff. Carry small pack of UHT which is enough for me mash potatoes.
Buy block cheese and use your spud peeler to shave off some cheese.
Matches - buy better quality ones you or a lighter, even use a flint.
Canned food - there's no help for you there I shake my head in disbelief. Get the wife to do it that way you don't break a finger nail.
Beer - yep always a problem that. Worst is when the fridge freezes the stuff.
Tea bags - yep they should have longer strings. Option is to use tea leafs and a diffuser.

It must be a hot day again for you Lionel you're starting to ponder. I would of thought you'd of sorted all this stuff out when you got bogged last year.
Dunc
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:21

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:21
Duncan,

Didnt sort anything out when bogged.
Too busy keeping the flies away from my crotch, aint no way I was going to wash in that swamp.....hahaha.


Cheers.....Lionel.
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Reply By: Trevor R (QLD) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 19:45

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 19:45
Lionel,

The four words I dread to hear from SWMBO are:

"I have been thinking......"

It almost invariably means another job to add to the "to do list". I am already 7 years behind on this list and it keeps growing for some unkown reason LOL!!! She thinks too much if you ask me.

Enjoy your talk.
Trevor.
AnswerID: 401194

Follow Up By: Member - Duncs - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 22:24

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 22:24
Only seven years behind.

How long have you been shackled?

I was seven years behind in 1985 and I only got married in 1981.

Seven years behind..... I'd kill to be only seven years behind, she probably would too. I'd better get off before she looks over my shoulder and sees this. She might get some ideas.

Milk.... don't use it
Cheese.....I like the block
Teabags....I hold the tab on the handle with my thumb as I seldom poor water into the cup while it is on the bench.
Beer...when you have drunk that much that you can't remember how to open it it is time to go to bed.

Goodnight.
Duncs
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:35

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:35
Early on in the relationship the first thing Paula asked me on a Sunday morning was "what chya doing today".
Sleepily I'd reply "nuthin".

Well, that was always my Sunday stuffed. Not wanting to be ambushed on Sundays, I now quietly rehearse an answer on Saturday nights so I'm ready for the morning.

Now its "sorry sweetheart gotta work"....then pickup a Sunday Times head to the workshop and relax......hehehe.


Cheers.....Lionel.
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Reply By: Motherhen - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 20:44

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 20:44
Gee Lionel, i saw your heading and thought the words were "I think I'm pregnant".

Cheers

Mh
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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:38

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:38
HAHAHA....the last thing this world needs is a Mini-Me.



Cheers.....Lionel.
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Reply By: Member - John (Vic) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 21:44

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 21:44
So don't keep us in suspense!!

What did she want to talk about??

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Follow Up By: Member - Ed C (QLD) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 22:15

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 22:15
a new room for the baby ??

;-)))

Confucius say.....
"He who lie underneath automobile with tool in hand,
....Not necessarily mechanic!!"

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Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:43

Tuesday, Jan 26, 2010 at 23:43
Nah, if I had a new room it would be filled with Nissan parts.

Priorities gentlemen.


Wanted my opinion on new plants for the front yard.
Dont know why, never listens to me anyway....lol.


Cheers.....Lionel.
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Follow Up By: ob - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 00:07

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 00:07
Just a thought on the tea bag bit mate
How about ifn you put the water in first and then dangle your bag in after (tea bag of course)

The rest I can't help you with as I haven't figured them out myself ...lol

Hear where you are coming from about the ever increasing job list

Cheers ob
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Reply By: Rod W - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 14:16

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 14:16
Speaking of tea bags. About May or June last year I was out in the Yilgarn region and I had to go past Diemals Station homestead and l wanted to sneak past hoping that old Tony wouldn't be there (he's pushing 80 and as fit as a mallee bull and if you get chatting to him you loose 3-4 hours but he's a great bloke), anyway just as I drove past he came out of the house looking for something (not me), bugger I thought... anyway got invited in for a cuppa and the mandatory chat. He put the billy on and then proceeded to put tea bags in the cups. I said to him "what this tea bags where's the loose tea and one handful for each etc". A simile came on his face and he said "you've been here before haven't you?" Yes Tony several times. And about 3-4 hours later I managed to leave.
AnswerID: 401304

Follow Up By: Member - Lionel A (WA) - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 16:10

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 16:10
Rod,

was up that way last Sept, stayed well clear of the place because I read somewhere [cant remember exactly] that the bloke at the homestead was a nasty piece of work, very unfriendly apparently.

Had I known he was ok and liked a chat would have called in to say giday.

Had ice cold beers onboard as well.


Cheers......Lionel.
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Follow Up By: Rod W - Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 17:01

Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 at 17:01
Yep I've heard that too Lionel, and actually know a bloke who had a run in with Tony, but then this bloke and the mob he was with were at Pigeon Rock hooning all over and around the rock on motor bikes and Tony came along seen what was happening and told them to you know what. Which I think was fair enough. As I said he's a great bloke.
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Follow Up By: Member - Neville & Sally C (VI - Friday, Jan 29, 2010 at 11:44

Friday, Jan 29, 2010 at 11:44
Hi Lionel, Don't have a go at me you lot . I've been away for 2 days so couldn't answer Lionel before the rest of you took off with his initial statement. Sorry if I'm in the wrong place.
Now, Lionel, I bought the book in Geelong the day before yesterday. It cost me $35.00 so there'd better be a better line in it than the line you mentioned in your answer to me! I won't have time to read it before I go back to work though. I'd like to know what your wife thought of the book?.
You don't hear from Neville cause he's at work and can't type anyway. My answers usually speak for him.
He has however asked me to pass this on to you with lots of laughs. It's a bit late though, after all the others now. I haven't read all of your replies yet.
The same stick or spoon as mentioned by me will retrieve the tin lid from the can.
You wrap the string and the tea bag label around the handle before pouring in the boiling water.
You drink wine from a carton. It's cheaper and is far easier to open. It also lasts longer.
As for the matches. You can buy better ones for camping. For just a little extra money and you don't risk starting a major bushfire.
We reckon that this gripe page is a good idea and lends itself to these little things that irritate being solved by fellow campers. Good idea, indeed.
Now, back to some of your answers you lot! Aren't some of you being a little bit over the top about those 4 little words! Aren't some of you bragging a bit!? LOL.
Lionel, we are celebrating our 33rd wedding aniversary today. I believe that we are at this milestone because we talk things over together. Would you have been happy with what your wife wanted for the front garden or are you happy you discussed it with her!!!?
Take care, safe travels.
Bye. Sally.
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