Friday Funnies

Submitted: Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 08:58
ThreadID: 138943 Views:2492 Replies:7 FollowUps:1
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Reply By: Member - bbuzz (NSW) - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 09:04

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 09:04

Thats my DIL!

AnswerID: 627287

Reply By: Member - bbuzz (NSW) - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 09:10

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 09:10
Subject: Paki Pile driver
The recent, horrible and tragic building collapses in South Asia have
already resulted in the adoption of new building construction standards
and practices ... in a regulatory effort to ensure this type of disaster
never again occurs.

Only a month after more than 1,100 Bangladeshi garment workers lost
their lives in the collapse of a badly-built and poorly-maintained
eight-storey building, the new building code has - thankfully - gone
into force ... and its rigid practices are already being applied by
highly-skilled and properly-trained construction teams labouring on
job-sites all across the sub-continent .......
I'd say the foreman is the guy on the tamborine.

Pile Drivers

AnswerID: 627288

Follow Up By: Dion - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 20:46

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 20:46
If it works, it isn't stupid.
FollowupID: 901290

Reply By: Member - torro - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 09:57

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 09:57
Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in Northern Minnesota, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. ??As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. ? ?He : “How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena , is still a Virgin - in every vay.” ??The doctor told him” “Olaf, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal & keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on dere as long as you can.” ??He took four tongue depressors & formed a neat little 4-sided splint & taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art. ? ?Olaf mentioned none of this to Lena, married her & they went on their honeymoon to Duluth . That night in the Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. ? ?She said: “Olaf.. you're the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.” ? ?Olaf immediately dropped his pants & replied: ? ?“Look at dis Lena ...... still in DA CRATE!”
AnswerID: 627290

Reply By: Member - Geoff M (VIC) - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 12:48

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 12:48
For all the golfers out there - dilemma

What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals, and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes ?
You had the honours, and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin.
Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway.

Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help your opponent look for his ball.
Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, your opponent says: "Go ahead and hit your second shot and if I don't find it in time, I'll concede the match."

You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping about ten feet from the pin. About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: "I found it!".
The second sound you hear is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball, and the ball comes sailing out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole.

Now here is the ethical dilemma:
Do you pull the cheating bastard's ball out of your pocket and confront him with it, or do you keep your mouth shut ?
AnswerID: 627298

Reply By: Member - Geoff M (VIC) - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 12:51

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 12:51
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.'

'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde.

'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.

'Yes,' said the blonde , 'I'll go home and get it.'

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, 'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container ..

(Are you ready for this one!?)

AnswerID: 627299

Reply By: Member - bill j (VIC) - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 19:28

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 19:28
funny pics

Living like a millionaire on the pension

My Profile  Send Message

AnswerID: 627309

Reply By: Ron N - Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 19:46

Friday, Aug 16, 2019 at 19:46

AnswerID: 627311

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